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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 15:26 PM   #1
rubysoho120
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Pregnancy means loosing friends?


Im so upset right now. My best friend (besides my husband, he really is my best friend, since high school, we are 27) who has been my best friend since middle school has totally ditched me since I got pregnant. DH and I got married in August and she was a bridesmaid. When I told her, she acted all happy and shocked and excited but that soon faded, like a week later she barely talked to me. We used to text every day. I know she is busy with school and working a lot but still. Then one day she out of the blue tells me how sorry she is for ignoring me and lying saying she was too busy when I'd invite her to do things she was jealous of me getting married and having a baby. It was a break through to me as she has always been this way (i knew she was jealous, as she wants both of those things) but ever since she has totally stopped texting or returning my calls. It just makes me so sad that she isn't here for me. I just feel like she doesn't want to be my friend any more because she is too jealous or something.

On a slightly same note we announced on Facebook finally that we are pregnant and one of my other friends who doesnt live near by any more was really rude about it. She sent me a message getting mad that I didnt tell her. We literally had only told family and very close friends and co-workers. I felt more comfortable being private about it. I explained it to her. But she gave me so much attitude. She didn't even like or comment on any of the baby stuff I posted. And yet she wants to come to the baby shower. WTF. Thankfully tons of other people were so sweet and happy and nice and excited for us. But still. Gees.

Does anyone else feel like this? Loosing friends who don't have kids and aren't pregnant. I only have one friend (she is my older sisters friend actually) who is pregnant, and she is a month behind me, so its been nice to have someone to talk to, but I feel alone. My husband and family are awesome, but its not the same.


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 15:31 PM   #2
CloverMouse
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Yes! I have been feeling this way a lot, most of my friends won't invite me anywhere or return my calls, and I have 5 that are pregnant too 4 of them due near my due date, and it's like a competition and they don't want to talk about that or anything else with me... wtf?


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 15:36 PM   #3
oneteddybear
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I know how you feel. Im in the same boat. Almost all of my friends have stopped contact with me. I have two friends that stay in contact with me but only like once a month or two. I had two friends that got pregnant before me, who are due next month. Since they found out I was pregnant as well they have completely cut me out. They have the You are trying to steal my thunder attitude. I hope things start working out for you!! sometimes we need to start over with new friends.


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 15:40 PM   #4
Newbride2011
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I've had this a couple of times tbh not just because of the pregnancy I too got married last year before that I had a massive blow up with a friend because I was supposedly selfish etc but at the time had a lot going on getting married and didn't have time to pander to her every need she was single and had been for a few years and was jelous of my life I haven't spoke to her since and never will. And another girl who I've been best mates with since high school and was bridesmaid at my wedding started to get nasty before the wedding, her relationship was on the verge of ending and was having a rough time, she ripped the £150 bridesmaid dress, got drunk and insulted my mil!!! Things haven't been the same since. It is sad but I've come to realise that I don't need scum bags in my life I need supportive people round me who aren't consumed with jelousy its not healthy, friends come and go and hopefully you'll meet some other people worthy of.your friendship xxxx


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 15:51 PM   #5
Amarna
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Yeah, it's happened to me. Not until this pregnancy however, with my first luckily I never experienced it but then I've never had many friends to begin with. Maybe only three at most. I thought one "friend" in particular would be happy for me, excited, etc. She was always really supportive of me before and vice versa, I honestly held her in my highest esteem and was shocked because she does have a child. I'm trying not to get upset with her too much though because she has tough circumstances. She was in an abusive relationship after leaving her husband and the father of her son. The new guy was mentally and physically abusive, she left him and moved back to our home state but because of her mental state at the time gave her son up to his father who could be a better caregiver to him. I know this was extremely tough for her and I really do admire that she was strong enough to take her son's best interests so seriously. But ever since I announced we are expecting she's cut me out completely it seems. Hasn't said one word to me since and I do have to admit that it hurts...a lot. I know this is most likely due to her own issues and I know that she misses her son a lot and probably doesn't need to be reminded of it though so I'm trying to be understanding and am keeping the door open to her.


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 15:53 PM   #6
AngelofTroy
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My friends are really excited but it hasn't been the same since I got pregnant. I'm tired all the time, and not drinking (not that that really matters) so I don't feel much fun. I miss them though, seeing my best friend on sat for a proper catch up!


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 16:55 PM   #7
mumzie2b
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i thought i was the only one. my best friend has totally changed with me, since i told her i was pregnant (at 4 weeks) iv only seen her once, we used to chat every day, now im lucky if i here from her at all.. iv been through alot with this pregnancy, having to have a cvs, and was told id possible have to terminate.. and she new this, but was not there for me at all. i dont think she liked that i fell pregnant, she always tryed to convince me not to start trying etc.. im really hurt by her... i guess true friends are hard to find these days xxx


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 16:57 PM   #8
Sunshine12
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All my friends already have kids so I cant relate from that point of view but find it really sad that someone would stop being friends just because your situation different. I can understand friendships drifting slightly because you have different things in common but not cutting off contact with someone who has been such a big part of your life. Your "friend" will regret it in years to come I bet. x


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 19:23 PM   #9
akire01
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I think this happens to EVERYBODY!... I have a very close group of 7 girls, one really close, she really acted weird. Later I confronted her and she said she was just jealous bc she wasn't pregnant and she wanted to be. When she got pregnant, she too realized how everyone shuns you and gets it now. Until they go through it, they just don't get it. Just know one day she will be pregnant and all of the sudden she will get it too, they always do! Don't worry about it, we are all close again, the separation only last for a little while.


 
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Old Mar 29th, 2012, 19:35 PM   #10
lyricsop03
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Most of my friends at college don't understand because they are theater majors and most theater majors aren't really into the baby thing, lol.

BUT I lost one close friend over pregnancy. I had a thread about it about a month ago. She didn't agree with my decision to keep the baby vs. abortion (I could NEVER do that) and so basically dumped me. I was heartbroken but in the long run it's probably for the best. I just never saw it coming...

So I completely sympathize with you. I hope it all works out for you. Jealousy is nothing but negativity in our lives.


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