Baby Shower Invite Ex-Friend?

sweety2513 · Mar 30th, 2012, 11:58 AM

Ok so I had this best friend since we were 6 (20 years). We were more like sisters. Last year after my wedding she got upset that I posted a picture of her at my wedding on my Face book. It turned into a much bigger argument than it should have and she ended up saying she hated my husband and we have not spoken since. I have tried to reach out twice via e-mail and she has not responded. I have not tried now in about 8 months. I miss her friendship dearly and especially at this time. Do I have my sister in law send her an invite to my baby shower? It would be out of the blue but I think of it as my last reach out to her and she can do with it what she wants.

What do you guys think?

Sunshine12 · Mar 30th, 2012, 12:03 PM

Personally, no. If she wanted to keep in touch she would have contacted you. If you wanted to get in touch with her again I think it would be best to do it in a letter rather than a baby shower invite however based on what you have said it should be her making the first move and not you as it doesnt sound like you did anything wrong. I would personally leave the situation as it is. She has had ample opportunity to rememdy things but as she hasnt been in touch it doesnt she like she wants to.x

Shezza84uk · Mar 30th, 2012, 12:10 PM

I'm a bit of a peace keeper so I would send it mainly because you are taking the mature approach and looking pass her obvious immaturity. Seen as you clearly value her friendship and still consider her your friend there is no harm sending the invite if she declines there isn't much more you can do just prepare yourself either way x

evoluv · Mar 30th, 2012, 12:14 PM

im in the same situation. it sucks bc despite the argument yall have many good moments. But since you have tried to reach out to her i personally wouldnt invite her. At least you can rest assure you tried your best to make the friendship work

Newlywed2011 · Mar 30th, 2012, 12:18 PM

Maybe try and reach out to her before you send the invite. That way it won't be so out of the blue. I agree with a PP, I'm a bit of a peace keeper so if you feel lonesome for that friendship maybe be the bigger person and reach out to her. This happened to me years ago with a dear friend. She reached back out to me and we talked about why we were so upset with one another like mature adults and now our friendship is better than ever. I hope this works out for you as well.

mitchymoo · Mar 30th, 2012, 13:26 PM

Im in same situ also with best friend havent been close for about 9 mths since went on a holiday to a wedding with other friends...all petty, dont think she likes me having other friends. Didnt tell her I was pregnant until 12 weeks as hadnt told family think she was shocked by that...she said she was gobsmacked that I was pregnant not the reply I was looking for. Still not spoke since, I would try and reach out to your friend before the baby shower, Then if no reply dont invite her and she will be missing out and that will be her decision.

Good luck xx

Indigo77 · Mar 30th, 2012, 13:29 PM

Sure...1 more effort...

After this, though, if she doesn't make an effort, I would write her off...

Mummy2Be__x · Mar 30th, 2012, 13:31 PM

I would, she's been your friend since you was little, now this will see if your friendship really means anything to her depending on if she turns up or not ! If it was me knowing I've sent an invite atleast whether she turns up or not would make me happy.

Feb4th2011 · Mar 30th, 2012, 17:22 PM

I absolutely would not invite her... the off chance she does show up, would you want your reunion to be at the shower? Instead I would maybe call or email her one more time and express ur feelings one more time. At the end I would state that this was the last email and the ball is in her court.

leoniebabey · Mar 30th, 2012, 17:38 PM

I would then that gives you the piece of mind that that you made the effort but if she doesn't come or make the effort to get in touch i'd prepare myself to give up

Mar 30th, 2012, 11:58 AM	#1
sweety2513 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: California Posts: 153	Baby Shower Invite Ex-Friend? Ok so I had this best friend since we were 6 (20 years). We were more like sisters. Last year after my wedding she got upset that I posted a picture of her at my wedding on my Face book. It turned into a much bigger argument than it should have and she ended up saying she hated my husband and we have not spoken since. I have tried to reach out twice via e-mail and she has not responded. I have not tried now in about 8 months. I miss her friendship dearly and especially at this time. Do I have my sister in law send her an invite to my baby shower? It would be out of the blue but I think of it as my last reach out to her and she can do with it what she wants. What do you guys think?

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Mar 30th, 2012, 12:03 PM	#2
Sunshine12 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Elite Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 10,679	Personally, no. If she wanted to keep in touch she would have contacted you. If you wanted to get in touch with her again I think it would be best to do it in a letter rather than a baby shower invite however based on what you have said it should be her making the first move and not you as it doesnt sound like you did anything wrong. I would personally leave the situation as it is. She has had ample opportunity to rememdy things but as she hasnt been in touch it doesnt she like she wants to.x

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Mar 30th, 2012, 12:10 PM	#3
Shezza84uk Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: In an enchanted land far, far away Posts: 1,806	I'm a bit of a peace keeper so I would send it mainly because you are taking the mature approach and looking pass her obvious immaturity. Seen as you clearly value her friendship and still consider her your friend there is no harm sending the invite if she declines there isn't much more you can do just prepare yourself either way x

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Mar 30th, 2012, 12:14 PM	#4
evoluv Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: AUSTIN,TX Posts: 351	im in the same situation. it sucks bc despite the argument yall have many good moments. But since you have tried to reach out to her i personally wouldnt invite her. At least you can rest assure you tried your best to make the friendship work

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Mar 30th, 2012, 12:18 PM	#5
Newlywed2011 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: U.S. Posts: 69	Maybe try and reach out to her before you send the invite. That way it won't be so out of the blue. I agree with a PP, I'm a bit of a peace keeper so if you feel lonesome for that friendship maybe be the bigger person and reach out to her. This happened to me years ago with a dear friend. She reached back out to me and we talked about why we were so upset with one another like mature adults and now our friendship is better than ever. I hope this works out for you as well.

Status: Offline

Mar 30th, 2012, 13:26 PM	#6
mitchymoo Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 288	Im in same situ also with best friend havent been close for about 9 mths since went on a holiday to a wedding with other friends...all petty, dont think she likes me having other friends. Didnt tell her I was pregnant until 12 weeks as hadnt told family think she was shocked by that...she said she was gobsmacked that I was pregnant not the reply I was looking for. Still not spoke since, I would try and reach out to your friend before the baby shower, Then if no reply dont invite her and she will be missing out and that will be her decision. Good luck xx

Status: Offline

Mar 30th, 2012, 13:29 PM	#7
Indigo77 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 15,966	Sure...1 more effort... After this, though, if she doesn't make an effort, I would write her off...

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Mar 30th, 2012, 13:31 PM	#8
Mummy2Be__x Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Coventry Posts: 1,854	I would, she's been your friend since you was little, now this will see if your friendship really means anything to her depending on if she turns up or not ! If it was me knowing I've sent an invite atleast whether she turns up or not would make me happy.

Status: Offline

Mar 30th, 2012, 17:22 PM	#9
Feb4th2011 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: ~Canadian Prairies~ Posts: 1,020	I absolutely would not invite her... the off chance she does show up, would you want your reunion to be at the shower? Instead I would maybe call or email her one more time and express ur feelings one more time. At the end I would state that this was the last email and the ball is in her court.

Status: Offline

Mar 30th, 2012, 17:38 PM	#10
leoniebabey Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Newcastle Posts: 8,957	I would then that gives you the piece of mind that that you made the effort but if she doesn't come or make the effort to get in touch i'd prepare myself to give up

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