Sorry ladies, but Im so annoyed I need to rant!!
Since last weekend me and my dh haven't been getting on very well, we are arguing about everything. He doesn't spend anytime with me in the week as he is usually on his computer and I am normally doing work (I'm a teacher) so weekends are the only real time we get to properly chat. Anyway, I want to move before baby arrives and he doesn't, so that has caused a massive argument, we live in the middle of nowhere and have to drive to any shop etc, and I jsut feel that I will feel isolated when baby arrives, however he will just not budge.
Tonight, I brought up mat pay etc and how we need to start thinking about it etc etc and I mentioned that I wont be going back to work full time, to which he has told me I am!!!!!!!!! I explained that other people with babies work 2 or 3 times per week as they find teaching hard etc full time with the planning and everything but he is just not having any of it!! He told me he is not discussing it now as we dont need to sort that out yet (which I know we don't) but I did say well just so you know I am not going back FT, to which he told me I am, then he told me he is busy and he was not discussing it!
Recently, I feel like he is dictating my life! I'm so angry and need to get this off my chest. Am I being unreasonable!?
Sorry I know this is long - I dont normally write about personal probs but really need to vent! xx
Sorry he's being a pain in the ass honey. Why is he telling you what to do! Just ignore him, you shouldn't need to discuss this with him, at the end of the day it is your job, your body, your health, your life!
Thanks, that's pratically what I told him! Im just so annoyed with him at the moment, this is supposed to be a really exciting time in our lives and he seems to just have his own agenda and ideas and won't listen to anything I want or think! Arrgh Men!! x
Ugh that's so frustrating. You are not being unreasonable, I hate how men cant seem to have a discussion about things and come to an agreement with us so we are both happy, why does it need to always be their way?! My bf and I are fighting right now as well.. Mostly to do with money, moving, last names etc... He cant ever negotiate something that we are both comfortable with, he always just wants things his way it's so selfish! I feel your pain, it sucks.
i think you need to sit down when your both calm and not busy and have a proper talk about it
there may be a reason he feels you need to go back to work full time he may have finance worries etc if so you need to sit down togeather and figure it out
i dont think you bean unreasonable at all only wanting to go back part time but i do think you need a reason why he thinks its a bad idea :-) perhaps tell him how much childcare will cost per week as it is excess of £200 per week these days he may change his mind lol
Thanks baby287 - I feel like the only one who must be arguing with dh at the mo, I feel like this should be the happiest time of our lives and at the moment it sucks (not the baby but his attitude) hope you sort things out too! Men are rubbish!!
Thanks Leah, you are right and we will talk about this again but I feel everytime I bring something up its never the right time, or he just never agrees with me lol. Im sure we will sort it though - well hopefully lol! xx
Gonna be blunt - what a dick!! He can't dictate to you what you do and I completely understand your reasons. I am a trainee teacher and have lots of teacher friends and the amount of work you have to take home with you is intense so I completely understand and agree with your decisions. I plan to do the same, but I am also going to be a single mum so couldn't possibly manage a full time teaching work load!!! xx
thanks Helen. I told him there is no way on this earth I can manage doing what I do now and then come home to a baby and still have to do work after s/he is in bed. I know that there are woman who do work ft as a teacher and have small chn and my hat goes off to them, but I am not prepared to do it.
Hopefully he will understand my reasoning in time, I told him I haven't said I wont go back at all, but no way full time!!
I also dont blame you for making the decision to go part time - good on you, Im sure you will do great! xx
Men! Yes he IS being insensitive and rude just bossing you around.
Your health and your child's care and happiness are more important than some abstract arbitrary ideal of just HAVING to work FT.... NOTHING is more precious than your health and the time you spend with loved ones. And for heavens sake I'm sure YOU'd have a say in the matter of whether YOU work and how much! Who on earth does he think he is?
I know it's cliche but: no one ever said at the end of their life "wow I really wish I would have worked and stressed more and seen my babies less!". Sounds like someone needs to get his priorities checked.
Thanks, You ladies are helping me to calm down and to feel better! I really don't think at the moment he truly gets what having a baby will mean, he thinks that babies just sleep - yeah right!!! He's probably going to get a rude awakening in September lol!
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