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Old Apr 4th, 2012, 14:11 PM   #1
Linzi_x
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very upset atm :( ...long


over the passed couple of weeks or so, i've become very upset and extremely stressed.

i find the whole concept of being pregnant very daunting and have been doubting myself that i'll be a good mum and it's getting me down. i've also been stressing myself out about our finances and bills, we're on a low income, not in any financial trouble but this is definitely my biggest fear and the fear of not being able to provide the very best for my little girl. i feel like my friends and family are drifting away from me and feel like i can't talk to them about it and the only people i can talk to are you girls on here. i finally spilled to my OH last night about how i felt, in floods of tears and told him that sometimes i find it difficult to talk to him because i feel like i'm being silly. he is very supportive and did suggest that i talk to my mum about it (havent spoke to my dad in months so this may have something to do with my feelings). at first i thought it was my hormones but i've had these worries everyday for a couple of weeks now.

i feel very alone most of the time and extremely overwhelmed but i keep bottling my emotions. i've heard that depression during pregnancy is more common than people think but i don't want to diagnose myself as i've only read online articles and i don't know a lot about depression.

i've thought about talking to my midwife or doctor but i don't know how to start the conversation, it's quite a big thing. i just want what is best for my little girl, my OH and our little family.


 
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Old Apr 4th, 2012, 14:23 PM   #2
pleaseMum
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I didnt want to R & R but I wanted to give you this.....

Being pregnant can bring up a whole flood of different emotions and worries, I know thinking about what life will be like when the new baby comes can be scary, I was so scared when I was preg with my LO. Always worrying about finances and whether or not we'd be able to afford me being on maternity leave....etc. All you can do is tell yourself that you will find a way to make it work. It's a natural instinct to make sure our young are cared for and so naturally YOU MAKE IT WORK! There are plenty of resources out there, be it used baby clothing stores or donation centers, or using the food bank once and a while. Everything sort of just falls into place......

I dont know if any of that rambling helped but Keep your head high and youre going to be a great mom!!!


 
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Old Apr 4th, 2012, 14:33 PM   #3
cmarie33
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I can understand your financial worries. My oh is currently unemployed and I am worried as to how we'll be able to give our baby everything it needs. I am also very emotional at the moment, although not as bad as I think you are feeling. Your dr and midwife will both be very used to pregnant ladies with these feeling so I'm sure they'll be able
To help. xx


 
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Old Apr 4th, 2012, 14:41 PM   #4
tinytabby
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It's normal to have all kinds of worries when you're pregnant, but you're wise to recognise that you could be at risk of it getting you down.

As the others said, your midwife or dr would be good to talk about your fears with.

If you're unsure about how to raise the issue, maybe it's best just to come out with it when the midwife asks, 'so how have you been?' You could then tell her the kinds of things that are bothering you.

It's good to bring a list of what you want to cover, any questions or points you want to ask. I always find its good because you don't forget anything, and it can make you feel less flustered.

Anyway, hope this helps and that talking about it helps you.


 
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Old Apr 4th, 2012, 14:59 PM   #5
Elhaym
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Don't be worried about talking to your mw or doctor, they will be very understanding - antenatal depression can really affect some people and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure your midwife can reassure you

I understand your money fears, my OH isn't on a big wage and when I go on maternity pay we won't have much at all, and next year I am hoping to be in uni if I get on the course I want so will be skint! and everything seems to get more expensive by the day! Don't forget about child benefit and tax credits, and remember babies really don't need loads of stuff, especially not at first, and things can be bought bit by bit as you go along, not all in one go. I'm constantly watching items on ebay and you can get some great stuff that's barely used (moses baskets, prams, gorgeous clothing bundles....)

All they need to start with is basic clothing items, a car seat if you drive, a pram, somewhere to sleep. The ongoing costs like nappies and formula if you are bottle feeding can be helped with too - if you are on a low income you can get vouchers from the government for formula, and own-brand nappies like asdas are just as good as the expensive types. Amazon also do nappies and you can get them delivered regularly, like every month, for a slightly reduced price. I know it's hard when you hear people talking about buying their new bugaboos and icandys and doing up a lovely nursery but babies don't need all that, honestly

I totally understand how overwhelming it is, it's a huge life changing situation but you will get through it and manage - and the fact you are worried about it shows you care a lot which means you are obviously a caring person who will be a fantastic parent!


 
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Old Apr 4th, 2012, 15:06 PM   #6
leahsbabybump
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Its normal to worry about everything when your going to be a mum especially for the first time this is my third time round and i still worry about things :-) try and keep your chin up and luck on the bright side of things youll have a beautiful baby soon that will love you no matter what all the baby needs is a full tummy a clean bum a warm cardigan and lots of love an they will be happy as larry :-)
if your feelings continue this way then i would just tell your midwife you have been feeling down lately and im sure she will prompt the conversation from there for you :-)

good luck with your pregnancy hun im sure all will turn out good for you :-)


 
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