I am not finding out what I ma having but hubs wants to. Since he cannot attend the scan I am having the tech write it down and then I will give it to hubs. Hubs said he wanted to buy baby cloths for the sex so I told him he could and he is going to put them in a container so I cannot see. He also agreed to not tell anyone what the baby is. We agreed on names before hand and we call the baby he and she randomly so if he slips I won't be aware.

As for the 4D I think you should discuss it. I think if you want it he should respect that request. We are not having one but that's because we dont want the extra peek.

M&S-you have good pointers hun thank you!
I did read it out loud to OH but he didn't say much except.. you don't need to know, you just want to.
I just see full sense in knowing! But most others don't - a few of my family want me to tell them, but my mum definitely doesn't. She just really doesn't understand. Im getting to the point where I want to tell her to f*** off. I respect her views when she says them but she just argues againsts mine!
If I wasn't so bothered about everyone else's opinions I would find out, but because I know I'll be made to be felt guilty if OH doesn't want to know I don't know whether I could go through with finding out xx

Armywife - that's a good idea that you have both come to an agreement about it and met in the middle It is rather sweet of your DH wanting to buy stuff for it bless.
If he doesn't want the 4D I probably won't, but I've always wanted to before I was even pregnant so it's tough xx

I was keen to know this time but hubby wasn't. We agreed not to find out. It keeps the magic alive for him, he loved telling when my son was born that he was a boy (and being the first to know!), and it stopped folk buying us too much too early and allowing us some input into what we still needed. We as a result didn't end up with lots of duplicate gifts and too many clothes of one size.

The planning for a specific sex isn't 100% necessary, but the important thing is coming to an agreement with your OH. He may love the magic of a surprise like mine which is lovely.

Luna - I respect your decision hunny, I think it's only fair to also agree, and as much as I want to find out I don't think I'd be able to without OH.
But OH up until now alwaaaays said he hates surprises anyway xx

I think you should remind him that everything was fine untill your parents interfered, I think its really nasty of your mum to not respect your origonal options as a couple tbh.

I would be super upset at my OH if we decided on something together and then he changed his mind all of a suddon because of something someone else had said.

ALSO I think your mum needs reminding that this is your baby/pregnancy and not hers and if you want to find out the sex then you will, it sounds like your OH isn't too fussed if he says he'll want to know if you find out anyway If I were you i would do it and i would tell everyone if baby is a boy or girl starting with the people that made you feel bad for wanting to find out bubbas sex, how dare someone put a downer on such a happy exciting time.
Sorry its a bit of a rant but i feel so bad for you being made to feel like that.
Best of luck to you x x x

we have family members who dont want to know, so we are respecting that and we just wont tell them, and everyone else who wants to know will be told to keep it a secret, or we simply arent telling people...

We are finding out the gender tomorrow. FOB wont be there because he is still deciding if he wants to know. but he is happy for me to do my own thing.

Ooooh, this finding out the gender malarkey really does cause a stir. We were kind of in this predicament with DS, I would have liked to know but OH didn't want to as it was his first so we didn't. It niggled me for a little while but i soon got over it. I had my suspisions anyway. But when it came to labour day I think it helped me get through, I had a little bit of a difficult labour, homebirth booked and almost succeeded but baby got stuck, got rushed to hospital where he was ventoused out and I had to be cut, finding out the sex at that point took away the disappointment of a partially ruined homebirth. This time I would have liked to have known again, but I think thats because the option is there, not because I REALLY want to... OH doesn't want to know so again, looking back at DS, i will hope my instinct is right, I wont buy anything gendered til baby is born, but in a way, regardless as to whether you know or not, you still cant really buy much in the way of earlier clothes as baby could be early, big or whatever... I bought tonnes of newborn clothes with DS and at 8lb 1oz he really wasn't in them 2 minutes. He was out of those and into newly bought gendered clothes before I could say boo!!

I appreciate there are benefits to knowing the gender, i.e clothes shopping, nursery decoration, moses basket, even pram if thats what you want but I don't think its the bee all and end all. I much prefer the surprise (even if OH has to cover my eyes when scanner goes to baby's nether region ) but it doesn't bother me not knowing and I do think it is each to their own, I don't think any different of people who find out the gender or don't (just so people know im not trying to cause an argument lol, hormonal ladies can take things wrong, i sure do )

I think all options would seem to have been offered in other posts so i'm not going to try give you a solution hun, what i will say is, Good luck with whatever you decided but it is about you and OH, not your mum and dad, its not their baby. I know my mum and dad would support me whatever I did but OH's mum would probably not want to know, she is a little old fashioned too.

hun xxx

I think not finding out the gender would be very special at the end. I would love my husband to tell me if I just brough a baby girl or boy into the world and share that moment. But I was far to impatient and so was he the first pregnancy. Next pregnancy its already decided we will stay team yellow to have that eperience too. Only reason I found out was cause I was dying for it to be a girl, but it was a boy and he's so wonderful. I would LOVE another boy but girl is great too. Plus most of haidens things are gender neutral (jungle theme- swing, bouncer, carseat is beige, toys are gender neutral) Lots of greens, yellows and oranges around.
Now the 4d I would put my foot down! now that was an amazing experience and I will always have my 3d pictures and 4d videos of him at 26 weeks. It was the coolest thing ever!

You could find out and just have him leave the room when they tell you. My friend didn't wan't to know the sex of her baby so the sonographer whispered it to her OH who did want to know - she's due in 4 weeks and still doesn't know.