Tough decision... OH no longer wants to find out gender - what to do?

xxxjessxxx · Apr 8th, 2012, 13:21 PM

So up until a few days ago, OH wanted to find out the gender, but since my mother and his father have put their views across that they don't think we should he no longer wants to

He said if I still do he wants to know but he'd rather wait until the baby is born.
Since then he doesn't even want a 4D scan anymore either.. do I still go ahead?
What would you do??

Lindsey123 · Apr 8th, 2012, 13:24 PM

I hate it when other people stick their oar in - even if meant in a nice way - and make you feel like your opinion is the wrong one

If it were me in your position, I'd find out anyway - I'm so curious

He could still come to the 4D scan cos you can't see obvious bits, and he could leave the room at the end if you tell them not to tell you both the gender

Tjkitty · Apr 8th, 2012, 13:25 PM

You could ask them to write it down, then peek later, if it's there I bet he will want to know...just don't tell anyone that you found out!

pinkreality · Apr 8th, 2012, 13:26 PM

You can tell your doctor that he doesn't want to know so whenever hes around its not mentioned but you can find out on your own.

xxxjessxxx · Apr 8th, 2012, 13:30 PM

Thanks ladies, well he said if I find out then he wants to know - but then he plays the guilt trip on me,

Anyone have good pointers why it's good to find out the gender?
I've said things but they don't seem to be good enough

xx

Lindsey123 · Apr 8th, 2012, 13:33 PM

Easier to shop for 'correct' colour clothes? Easier to plan names and narrow down lists? If it's your first, easier to research how to look after their bits and keep them clean in advance? Easier to plan for bedrooms and nurseries? How about this, haha - if your fella is childish, like mine, and loves cartoons like Transformers or something, you could say that if it was a boy, you could plan a theme your OH would like?

xxxjessxxx · Apr 8th, 2012, 13:36 PM

Thanks lindsey, I've pulled most of them. But my mum argued that there's no point buying much clothes as you can go shopping with the baby after. But I said, If I saw something gorgeous in a sale I can buy it and save so much money but again she went against it.
The nursery situation unfortunately isn't such an arguement as we have to do the baby's nursery after it's already here. It's so tough.
I feel like I shouldn't now as I should respect his choice, my mum said it's out of order if I find out and he doesn't want to xx

Lindsey123 · Apr 8th, 2012, 13:39 PM

Tell your mum she should be on your side

My parents died when I was young so I have no idea what my mam would say to me about baby, but I do know that she should take my side no matter what

xxxjessxxx · Apr 8th, 2012, 13:41 PM

Sorry to hear that sweetie

Although, unfortunately she wouldn't, she's too stuck in her beliefs and will argue it down

xx

Lindsey123 · Apr 8th, 2012, 13:44 PM

Would you feel bad having a sneaky 4D scan and forgetting to tell him you went?

Apr 8th, 2012, 13:21 PM	#1
xxxjessxxx Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Essex Posts: 4,241	Tough decision... OH no longer wants to find out gender - what to do? So up until a few days ago, OH wanted to find out the gender, but since my mother and his father have put their views across that they don't think we should he no longer wants to He said if I still do he wants to know but he'd rather wait until the baby is born. Since then he doesn't even want a 4D scan anymore either.. do I still go ahead? What would you do??

Status: Offline

Apr 8th, 2012, 13:24 PM	#2
Lindsey123 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: UK Posts: 812	I hate it when other people stick their oar in - even if meant in a nice way - and make you feel like your opinion is the wrong one If it were me in your position, I'd find out anyway - I'm so curious He could still come to the 4D scan cos you can't see obvious bits, and he could leave the room at the end if you tell them not to tell you both the gender

Status: Offline

Apr 8th, 2012, 13:25 PM	#3
Tjkitty Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Lincolnshire Posts: 316	You could ask them to write it down, then peek later, if it's there I bet he will want to know...just don't tell anyone that you found out!

Status: Offline

Apr 8th, 2012, 13:26 PM	#4
pinkreality Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: PA Posts: 230	You can tell your doctor that he doesn't want to know so whenever hes around its not mentioned but you can find out on your own.

Status: Offline

Apr 8th, 2012, 13:30 PM	#5
xxxjessxxx Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Essex Posts: 4,241	Thanks ladies, well he said if I find out then he wants to know - but then he plays the guilt trip on me, Anyone have good pointers why it's good to find out the gender? I've said things but they don't seem to be good enough xx

Status: Offline

Apr 8th, 2012, 13:33 PM	#6
Lindsey123 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: UK Posts: 812	Easier to shop for 'correct' colour clothes? Easier to plan names and narrow down lists? If it's your first, easier to research how to look after their bits and keep them clean in advance? Easier to plan for bedrooms and nurseries? How about this, haha - if your fella is childish, like mine, and loves cartoons like Transformers or something, you could say that if it was a boy, you could plan a theme your OH would like?

Status: Offline

Apr 8th, 2012, 13:36 PM	#7
xxxjessxxx Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Essex Posts: 4,241	Thanks lindsey, I've pulled most of them. But my mum argued that there's no point buying much clothes as you can go shopping with the baby after. But I said, If I saw something gorgeous in a sale I can buy it and save so much money but again she went against it. The nursery situation unfortunately isn't such an arguement as we have to do the baby's nursery after it's already here. It's so tough. I feel like I shouldn't now as I should respect his choice, my mum said it's out of order if I find out and he doesn't want to xx

Status: Offline

Apr 8th, 2012, 13:39 PM	#8
Lindsey123 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: UK Posts: 812	Tell your mum she should be on your side My parents died when I was young so I have no idea what my mam would say to me about baby, but I do know that she should take my side no matter what

Status: Offline

Apr 8th, 2012, 13:41 PM	#9
xxxjessxxx Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Essex Posts: 4,241	Sorry to hear that sweetie Although, unfortunately she wouldn't, she's too stuck in her beliefs and will argue it down xx

Status: Offline

Apr 8th, 2012, 13:44 PM	#10
Lindsey123 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: UK Posts: 812	Would you feel bad having a sneaky 4D scan and forgetting to tell him you went?

Status: Offline

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