Last name issues? - Page 2

griffinh · Apr 9th, 2012, 13:10 PM

Tell his family to sod right off. they dint make the baby you did. its not their choice x

notmommyyet · Apr 9th, 2012, 13:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candytzu2012

Well i mean personally i feel its not my familys choice nor his families choice it is up to us on what me and the babies dad agree on. Me and the babies dad already had our break ups and get back together and we were engaged and told him its best if we wait till our relationship is more stable. A weekend in jail really has changed him for the better. Because of our rocky relationship i just dont feel it is right to give his last name especially if we split for good, But also leaves it open for in the future if we marry we can change it then. His dad and grandma are fine with our choice its the rest of his family and my family havent told me it cant be his last name or it has to be mine they are letting us choose because it our life. I could see maybe his family and friends having issues if me and him didnt mutually agree and i said no im just gunna do what i want to do. But we agreed and are happy with our decision.

You say cause of your rocky relationship you dont feel he should have the right to the last name. But you got pregnant with this rocky relationship. so your relationship was stable enough to bring a child into it but its the last name that is the big deal? doesnt make much sense.

If me and OH ever split up LO would be raised by me. So she would always have mommy around and everybodyu would know shes my daughter. without OHs last name shed have nothing of his. that is the one piece of her father shell always carry with her and id never want her to forget who her dad is

candytzu2012 · Apr 9th, 2012, 13:18 PM

Well having my name or her dads last name really doesnt make him less of a dad either. The pregnancy wasnt planned but since being pregnant he has really stepped it up and has been here the whole way.

I personally dont like his last name and he is well aware of it.

babydust1990 · Apr 9th, 2012, 13:28 PM

I think the choice is up to you two entirely! If you're both happy, then ignore the comments! My little boy is having his Dads last name and we're not married, and don't want to get married (we not into that sort of thing, I'll probz xhange my last name to his just before the LO goes to school)! My mum tried to convince me to have my last name, I just told her straight and she eventually accepted it.

Shezza84uk · Apr 9th, 2012, 13:32 PM

It's a personal choice although I'm now single baby will have the fathers last name I just always thought it was a fathers right and as my dad said to me why should his gradchild have his surname when he's not my baby's father?! it's a very valid point however as a couple it's totally your choice and everyone should respect that x

gamblesrh · Apr 9th, 2012, 13:33 PM

the last name is up to you and him just ignore it all, and my husband and i were not married when our 3 year old was born and he still got my hubby's last name but we also knew that we were getting married and all with in the same year we had our 3 year old, bought a house and got married.

i agree with everyone else of your not married(or plan on it anytime soon) baby needs to have your last name.

Lindsey123 · Apr 9th, 2012, 13:34 PM

I'm not married to my baby's father and we are using both names. His first then mine. I don't like the idea of having a different name to my baby - and it's not fair that he should have a different name from his baby, IMO. Neither of us is religious, so we are not marrying, and so this is the best solution for us.

Ash0619 · Apr 9th, 2012, 13:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notmommyyet

Quote:

Originally Posted by candytzu2012

Well i mean personally i feel its not my familys choice nor his families choice it is up to us on what me and the babies dad agree on. Me and the babies dad already had our break ups and get back together and we were engaged and told him its best if we wait till our relationship is more stable. A weekend in jail really has changed him for the better. Because of our rocky relationship i just dont feel it is right to give his last name especially if we split for good, But also leaves it open for in the future if we marry we can change it then. His dad and grandma are fine with our choice its the rest of his family and my family havent told me it cant be his last name or it has to be mine they are letting us choose because it our life. I could see maybe his family and friends having issues if me and him didnt mutually agree and i said no im just gunna do what i want to do. But we agreed and are happy with our decision.

You say cause of your rocky relationship you dont feel he should have the right to the last name. But you got pregnant with this rocky relationship. so your relationship was stable enough to bring a child into it but its the last name that is the big deal? doesnt make much sense.

If me and OH ever split up LO would be raised by me. So she would always have mommy around and everybodyu would know shes my daughter. without OHs last name shed have nothing of his. that is the one piece of her father shell always carry with her and id never want her to forget who her dad is

Sorry but I think this was rude. You are judging her 'decision' to get pregnant but when did she ever say she planned their baby into a rocky relationship? She got pregnant in a rocky relationship and now needs to make some decisions. And how will a last name make the baby forget who her father is? If they split and he wants to be involved, she won't forget who he is....
My sister gave my nephew her OHs last name and really regrets it.

C_baby · Apr 9th, 2012, 13:39 PM

I think it's up to you two.

The only thing I would add that as I was a child who had her named changed at the age of eight although In theory it's a simple as just registering a different name in practice it's a ball ache. As an adult applying for anything becomes irritating as you have to prove your name change and often justify it on forms etc which was difficult for me as mine wasn't legally changed for some years (complicated i know).

Personally i was happy my mother chose to give me my fathers surname and even though it didn't work out. I am glad that I was able to make the decision to distance myself for him when i was old enough to ask to do so.

notmommyyet · Apr 9th, 2012, 13:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash0619

Quote:

Originally Posted by notmommyyet

Quote:

Originally Posted by candytzu2012

Well i mean personally i feel its not my familys choice nor his families choice it is up to us on what me and the babies dad agree on. Me and the babies dad already had our break ups and get back together and we were engaged and told him its best if we wait till our relationship is more stable. A weekend in jail really has changed him for the better. Because of our rocky relationship i just dont feel it is right to give his last name especially if we split for good, But also leaves it open for in the future if we marry we can change it then. His dad and grandma are fine with our choice its the rest of his family and my family havent told me it cant be his last name or it has to be mine they are letting us choose because it our life. I could see maybe his family and friends having issues if me and him didnt mutually agree and i said no im just gunna do what i want to do. But we agreed and are happy with our decision.

You say cause of your rocky relationship you dont feel he should have the right to the last name. But you got pregnant with this rocky relationship. so your relationship was stable enough to bring a child into it but its the last name that is the big deal? doesnt make much sense.

If me and OH ever split up LO would be raised by me. So she would always have mommy around and everybodyu would know shes my daughter. without OHs last name shed have nothing of his. that is the one piece of her father shell always carry with her and id never want her to forget who her dad is

Sorry but I think this was rude. You are judging her 'decision' to get pregnant but when did she ever say she planned their baby into a rocky relationship? She got pregnant in a rocky relationship and now needs to make some decisions. And how will a last name make the baby forget who her father is? If they split and he wants to be involved, she won't forget who he is....
My sister gave my nephew her OHs last name and really regrets it.

first of all two seperate paragraphs. One was to her and one was about me and how I felt. The second paragraph has nothing to do with her decision but how I felt about making my decision. That is why they were seperate. two SEPERATE thoughts. second I was never judging anything or anybody. Just pointing out the obvious which just bc wasnt polite doesnt make it any less of a valid point

Apr 9th, 2012, 13:10 PM	#11
griffinh Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: RainbowTown Posts: 8,259	Tell his family to sod right off. they dint make the baby you did. its not their choice x

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Apr 9th, 2012, 13:18 PM	#13
candytzu2012 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 116	Well having my name or her dads last name really doesnt make him less of a dad either. The pregnancy wasnt planned but since being pregnant he has really stepped it up and has been here the whole way. I personally dont like his last name and he is well aware of it.

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Apr 9th, 2012, 13:28 PM	#14
babydust1990 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Leicestershire, UK Posts: 2,334	I think the choice is up to you two entirely! If you're both happy, then ignore the comments! My little boy is having his Dads last name and we're not married, and don't want to get married (we not into that sort of thing, I'll probz xhange my last name to his just before the LO goes to school)! My mum tried to convince me to have my last name, I just told her straight and she eventually accepted it.

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Apr 9th, 2012, 13:32 PM	#15
Shezza84uk Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: In an enchanted land far, far away Posts: 1,806	It's a personal choice although I'm now single baby will have the fathers last name I just always thought it was a fathers right and as my dad said to me why should his gradchild have his surname when he's not my baby's father?! it's a very valid point however as a couple it's totally your choice and everyone should respect that x

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2012, 13:33 PM	#16
gamblesrh Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: mebane, nc, USA Posts: 817	the last name is up to you and him just ignore it all, and my husband and i were not married when our 3 year old was born and he still got my hubby's last name but we also knew that we were getting married and all with in the same year we had our 3 year old, bought a house and got married. i agree with everyone else of your not married(or plan on it anytime soon) baby needs to have your last name.

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Apr 9th, 2012, 13:34 PM	#17
Lindsey123 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: UK Posts: 825	I'm not married to my baby's father and we are using both names. His first then mine. I don't like the idea of having a different name to my baby - and it's not fair that he should have a different name from his baby, IMO. Neither of us is religious, so we are not marrying, and so this is the best solution for us.

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2012, 13:39 PM	#19
C_baby Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Sheffield Posts: 965	I think it's up to you two. The only thing I would add that as I was a child who had her named changed at the age of eight although In theory it's a simple as just registering a different name in practice it's a ball ache. As an adult applying for anything becomes irritating as you have to prove your name change and often justify it on forms etc which was difficult for me as mine wasn't legally changed for some years (complicated i know). Personally i was happy my mother chose to give me my fathers surname and even though it didn't work out. I am glad that I was able to make the decision to distance myself for him when i was old enough to ask to do so.

Status: Offline

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