Possibley controversial subject... V day

arj · Apr 10th, 2012, 18:51 PM

I am 22 weeks with my twins, and have been looking forward to "V Day", 24 weeks when my babies become viable and will be helped to live if born.

Then I watched a UK show the other night, showing all these babies born at 23 and 24 weeks, a lot of them died!

And then only 1 in 8 born that early lived a normal life without brain damage or some kind of problem. Now I feel like that 23 to 25 week time is going to be very bittersweet. Just hoping my twins stay put till they're meant to come out.

The debated question on the program was about whether we (people) are doing the wrong thing by resuscitating a baby at such a young age, going against nature, and bringing a child into the world with an extremely high chance of having an abnormal life. It's a hard call cos I think any parent would want to try and save their baby! I keep thinking about what I'd do etc in that situation.

Jslyn9996 · Apr 10th, 2012, 19:13 PM

This just makes me sad to think about. Would be such a heartbreaking decision to be forced to make

lala222 · Apr 10th, 2012, 19:16 PM

It is so heart wrenching to think about. I feel like I would do whatever it takes to fight for and help my baby live no matter what. Then again, is it right to do this and then what if they have to suffer through so many problems their whole life. I hope no one reading this thread has to ever make such a decision. x

calypso5 · Apr 10th, 2012, 19:56 PM

I have thought about this subject too. I won't feel even remotely safe to deliver until at least 32 weeks or more....and even then I would be freaking out.

deafgal · Apr 10th, 2012, 20:04 PM

it doesnt compare but my grandma had to face watching her own daughter (my mom) die of cancer. She did NOT want to let her go and did everything in her power to make sure she'll make it. So when we decided the "Do Not rescue" (she went into a coma and she suffered for so long, over three years, going in and out of hospitals) my grandma was very angry at us and my dad. but we knew if we rescue her, she will not get any better, and she will not be out of coma and that she'll be on machine which she did not want.

it is never an easy decision. young or old.

LAenne · Apr 10th, 2012, 20:08 PM

I don't think I will be able to breath any sigh if relief until I am 28 weeks but for sure 30 weeks.
It's a hard time and going to be of full worry did me!!

xSin · Apr 10th, 2012, 20:17 PM

I like the idea that at the very least at 24 weeks, the medical staff would do everything in their power to help the baby to survive; it would be difficult if it didn't but I can't imagine that it would begin to compare to the level of complete helplessness I would feel if I were say 23 weeks and 4 days, and they just flat out refused!

wifenmom · Apr 10th, 2012, 20:50 PM

as a momma who's 1st baby wanted to come at 27weeks I can't and don't even want to envision a 24weeker.
It's heart wrenching.

aegle · Apr 10th, 2012, 20:59 PM

I can't imagine actually being in that situation, but I think that no matter what, I would want them to do everything they could for my baby for the few tries. If it gets to the point where it seems like the baby could never live a normal life, I would have to start thinking about letting go.

I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't try to save her at the beginning.

mandwrx · Apr 11th, 2012, 02:26 AM

I found 'V day' brought more anxiety than relief for me because I feel that is too early. Here, a baby is legally 'viable' from 20 weeks meaning it will be registered as a birth not a miscarriage and all legal rights surrounding that (payments, burial etc) though resuscitation will not be attempted if baby makes no attempt. Around 23-24 weeks, the baby is seen as medically viable and will be resuscitated and given medical attention according to its weight and health. Some stories I have heard and watched seem very cruel to me and I can't imagine putting a tiny person through such trauma, it seems selfish at times. That being said, I can't imagine being in the situation and having to make that call, how extremely difficult. I personally will celebrate 28 weeks as a milestone but will not feel really secure until after 30.

Apr 10th, 2012, 18:51 PM	#1
arj Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Down Under Posts: 4,438	Possibley controversial subject... V day I am 22 weeks with my twins, and have been looking forward to "V Day", 24 weeks when my babies become viable and will be helped to live if born. Then I watched a UK show the other night, showing all these babies born at 23 and 24 weeks, a lot of them died! And then only 1 in 8 born that early lived a normal life without brain damage or some kind of problem. Now I feel like that 23 to 25 week time is going to be very bittersweet. Just hoping my twins stay put till they're meant to come out. The debated question on the program was about whether we (people) are doing the wrong thing by resuscitating a baby at such a young age, going against nature, and bringing a child into the world with an extremely high chance of having an abnormal life. It's a hard call cos I think any parent would want to try and save their baby! I keep thinking about what I'd do etc in that situation.

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Apr 10th, 2012, 19:13 PM	#2
Jslyn9996 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 2,508	This just makes me sad to think about. Would be such a heartbreaking decision to be forced to make

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Apr 10th, 2012, 19:16 PM	#3
lala222 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 1,198	It is so heart wrenching to think about. I feel like I would do whatever it takes to fight for and help my baby live no matter what. Then again, is it right to do this and then what if they have to suffer through so many problems their whole life. I hope no one reading this thread has to ever make such a decision. x

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Apr 10th, 2012, 19:56 PM	#4
calypso5 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 82	I have thought about this subject too. I won't feel even remotely safe to deliver until at least 32 weeks or more....and even then I would be freaking out.

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 20:04 PM	#5
deafgal Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: U.S. Posts: 1,984	it doesnt compare but my grandma had to face watching her own daughter (my mom) die of cancer. She did NOT want to let her go and did everything in her power to make sure she'll make it. So when we decided the "Do Not rescue" (she went into a coma and she suffered for so long, over three years, going in and out of hospitals) my grandma was very angry at us and my dad. but we knew if we rescue her, she will not get any better, and she will not be out of coma and that she'll be on machine which she did not want. it is never an easy decision. young or old.

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 20:08 PM	#6
LAenne Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 568	I don't think I will be able to breath any sigh if relief until I am 28 weeks but for sure 30 weeks. It's a hard time and going to be of full worry did me!!

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 20:17 PM	#7
xSin Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Vancouver BC Posts: 2,468	I like the idea that at the very least at 24 weeks, the medical staff would do everything in their power to help the baby to survive; it would be difficult if it didn't but I can't imagine that it would begin to compare to the level of complete helplessness I would feel if I were say 23 weeks and 4 days, and they just flat out refused!

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 20:50 PM	#8
wifenmom Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: USA Posts: 440	as a momma who's 1st baby wanted to come at 27weeks I can't and don't even want to envision a 24weeker. It's heart wrenching.

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 20:59 PM	#9
aegle Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 736	I can't imagine actually being in that situation, but I think that no matter what, I would want them to do everything they could for my baby for the few tries. If it gets to the point where it seems like the baby could never live a normal life, I would have to start thinking about letting go. I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't try to save her at the beginning.

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 02:26 AM	#10
mandwrx Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 651	I found 'V day' brought more anxiety than relief for me because I feel that is too early. Here, a baby is legally 'viable' from 20 weeks meaning it will be registered as a birth not a miscarriage and all legal rights surrounding that (payments, burial etc) though resuscitation will not be attempted if baby makes no attempt. Around 23-24 weeks, the baby is seen as medically viable and will be resuscitated and given medical attention according to its weight and health. Some stories I have heard and watched seem very cruel to me and I can't imagine putting a tiny person through such trauma, it seems selfish at times. That being said, I can't imagine being in the situation and having to make that call, how extremely difficult. I personally will celebrate 28 weeks as a milestone but will not feel really secure until after 30.

Status: Offline

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