I am 22 weeks with my twins, and have been looking forward to "V Day", 24 weeks when my babies become viable and will be helped to live if born.
Then I watched a UK show the other night, showing all these babies born at 23 and 24 weeks, a lot of them died! And then only 1 in 8 born that early lived a normal life without brain damage or some kind of problem. Now I feel like that 23 to 25 week time is going to be very bittersweet. Just hoping my twins stay put till they're meant to come out.
The debated question on the program was about whether we (people) are doing the wrong thing by resuscitating a baby at such a young age, going against nature, and bringing a child into the world with an extremely high chance of having an abnormal life. It's a hard call cos I think any parent would want to try and save their baby! I keep thinking about what I'd do etc in that situation.
It is so heart wrenching to think about. I feel like I would do whatever it takes to fight for and help my baby live no matter what. Then again, is it right to do this and then what if they have to suffer through so many problems their whole life. I hope no one reading this thread has to ever make such a decision. x
it doesnt compare but my grandma had to face watching her own daughter (my mom) die of cancer. She did NOT want to let her go and did everything in her power to make sure she'll make it. So when we decided the "Do Not rescue" (she went into a coma and she suffered for so long, over three years, going in and out of hospitals) my grandma was very angry at us and my dad. but we knew if we rescue her, she will not get any better, and she will not be out of coma and that she'll be on machine which she did not want.
I like the idea that at the very least at 24 weeks, the medical staff would do everything in their power to help the baby to survive; it would be difficult if it didn't but I can't imagine that it would begin to compare to the level of complete helplessness I would feel if I were say 23 weeks and 4 days, and they just flat out refused!
I can't imagine actually being in that situation, but I think that no matter what, I would want them to do everything they could for my baby for the few tries. If it gets to the point where it seems like the baby could never live a normal life, I would have to start thinking about letting go.
I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't try to save her at the beginning.
I found 'V day' brought more anxiety than relief for me because I feel that is too early. Here, a baby is legally 'viable' from 20 weeks meaning it will be registered as a birth not a miscarriage and all legal rights surrounding that (payments, burial etc) though resuscitation will not be attempted if baby makes no attempt. Around 23-24 weeks, the baby is seen as medically viable and will be resuscitated and given medical attention according to its weight and health. Some stories I have heard and watched seem very cruel to me and I can't imagine putting a tiny person through such trauma, it seems selfish at times. That being said, I can't imagine being in the situation and having to make that call, how extremely difficult. I personally will celebrate 28 weeks as a milestone but will not feel really secure until after 30.
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