My mw annoyed me abit today. I was telling her I have an appointment on 1may to discuss my options about birth this time. I told her the surgeon after my 3rd degree tear told me that I may be better off with a ecs next time. She looked at me as though I'd made it up and said that sounded abit extreme and it's major surgery blah blah, all facts I'm well aware of. I told her it took a long to recover from, a lot longer than episiotomy to which she replied it will! She said with a a well planned episitomy I should be fine!!! It's already like a patchwork quilt down there I really don't want anymore. I knew she'd have something to say about it I had her last preg and never particularly liked her. Luckily she dosent want to see me again till 28 week and I'm glad!!!!
Feel abit down about it now, when I had my head straight about it. I don't want my fufu chopped or tore anymore
i would go and see about your options anyway. I hate the way midwifes go on, it would be a different story if it was them going through it. they think they know it all cos they have seen so many woman and i think that they think we all just moan and complain all the time! If they dont care anymore and are not understanding and helpfull then they should have changed job a long time ago! I think the passion of the job has worn off for a lot of them to the point where they just dont care . I would ask to change midwifes if this is possible as you do get some nice ones. My biggest fear is arriving on delivery ward to be faced with a hardened, brutal, couldnt give a toss midwife !!
With your history I think you're well within your rights to be requesting a c-section this time, and if your midwife isn't sympathetic to this, I'd be asking if there's someone else you can see instead of her.
I get the feeling from mine sometimes that they're very set in their ways and how dare you question anything you're told? Vaginal delivery is best, never mind at what cost, and we must not deviate from that. Everything is very much on their terms and the way they want it done.
I've already fought with mine (all three I've seen ) and if anyone tries to start telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing, they'll be getting told in no uncertain terms where they can stick their guidelines and policy.
Oh yes that would be awful, luckily I've never had a bad mw for labour but that would make it 10 times worse. I wish I hadn't told her to be honest I don't need her sticking her nose in, it's up to me and my hospital (she is from a different hosp closer to me and dosent really like the fact I've gone else where)
I'm not telling her if I get one, I've decided!!! Lol
just curious... is there any medical problems related with ripping/being cut a lot?
(i had forceps + epis with my 1st and 2nd degree tear with the 2nd.)
Not that I'm aware, I had 3rd degree which affects the bum muscles which can cause incontinence problems. I had physio after and the nurse said A high % of women she sees are there due to childbirth. Personally I just don't want to gk through that again
I had a 10lb 10oz boy when I was 18 and had third degree tearing, forcep extraction, AND they dislocated my son's shoulder to get him out. Needless to say, we were both tore up by the end of the birth. Two and a half years later, I gave birth to my second son, who was 10lb 10oz as well with no tearing, forceps, or dislocation of any body parts. My lady bits are just fine now.
Requesting a c-section is a very personal decision and I am not saying it's bad to have one. I just wanted to let posters know that if you do have a traumatic experience, not all of them will be like that. I will not be having a c-section with this LO unless it's a medical emergency but again, it's just a personal choice.
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