Really lonely. Will I make mummy friends?

Lola90 · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:25 PM

I was just wondering if anyone else has had this too?
Im currently a student, I dont live in halls, I live in a house with my friend and my ex boyfriend was also here before but that's a difficult situation now.
Anyway I've found myself feeling increasingly lonely since I found out I was pregnant. Baby wasn't planned but there was never any question about keeping it, regardless of being a student or finances or anything. My biggest problem at the moment is feeling completely alone and isolated from my friends. Being a student I had a lot of friends that I would go out drinking and clubbing with and to me it's totally out of the question now, even to go out with them and not drink. I'm tired all the time and I just don't wanna be that way anymore.
But now I never see anyone! I have these visions of being completely alone with a baby and no friends. I don't know how to start over and meet people with the same interests I have now.

I feel really rubbish about it and I suppose I need some reassurance or advice xx

6lilpigs · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:31 PM

Yes, you'll find new friends! Maybe even at the college as I'm sure your not going to be the only young mum on campus

Does the college have a nursery for putting LO in when your ready? If so get your name down now as I think places go pretty quickly in them. Think of things as an exciting new beginning without the need of cheap drink and empty friends, having a baby really opens your eyes up to whats important, best of luck xx

Lola90 · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:37 PM

Nugget is due in October which is when the new term starts so it's looking like I'll have to defer the year and take year out.
It's so funny I used to be out every weekend and all of that and now I just can't see the sense in it. I'd rather be home watching britains got talent and early night! I just can't relate to my friends at the moment and I don't expect them to stay in with me.

bodi26 · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:41 PM

Although it's hard during pregnancy, once baby is here, your whole outlook will change and you'll probably find that you don't have much in common anymore with those who are only interested in drinking & clubbing.

Your baby will be the most important thing and socialising with them will help you make mummy friends, whether that's going to local mum & baby groups, the local library, the park etc. you're bound to find some mums to talk to.

Failing that, you could always try online 'meet a mum' websites where you can get in touch with others local to you who are also looking for other mummies to socialise with.

Apart from friends, are you generally otherwise happy? Losing interest in friends and normal activities can also be a sign of depression and it's not uncommon to have antenatal depression - just a thought hun

kim'sbump · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:45 PM

I found it easier to make friends with a baby than without. Just make sure you go to baby groups/ new mum groups & of course you'll make friends.

kittylady · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:53 PM

Hey I'm studying part-time, and working and everyone is like that, clubbing and partying, I'm branching out, I've been to my local childrens centre and they do baby stay and plays where you can meet mums, I'm going to the NHS antenatal classes too just trying to find other mums to talk to.

I think the neighbour next door is pregnant but shes now avoiding me, maybe cause I look young

There will be somewhere you can go and there will be mums you will meet, just be positive hun

M&S+Bump · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:55 PM

A baby is a great conversation starter and means you automatically have something in common with loads of different women who you'd probably never meet or talk to otherwise.

I've made some great 'mummy' friends from my NCT class and from going along to things like breastfeeding support group and mum and baby groups - my social circle has more than doubled from before. Some of the groups can be cliquey but you just need to persevere.

Pregnancy can be a really lonely time but once your bubs puts in an appearance you can have a full social calender in no time with very little effort!

Lola90 · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:55 PM

I have had a bit of a rough time recently. I have a history of quite severe depression that I have been coping quite well with but losing contact with friends has definitely made me a bit low. The issues with nuggets dad haven't helped either. I have been a bit scared to talk to the doctor about feeling low because I don't want them to think I can't cope.
It's the Easter holidays off uni at the moment and the lack of routine isn't helping at all.

bodi26 · Apr 14th, 2012, 17:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lola90

I have had a bit of a rough time recently. I have a history of quite severe depression that I have been coping quite well with but losing contact with friends has definitely made me a bit low. The issues with nuggets dad haven't helped either. I have been a bit scared to talk to the doctor about feeling low because I don't want them to think I can't cope.
It's the Easter holidays off uni at the moment and the lack of routine isn't helping at all.

Sorry to hear you've had a rough time but please don't be scared to say anything - nobody will think that at all! If you say you're worried because of your history and current circumstances then they'll ensure you have the support you need.

Laurakiaora · Apr 14th, 2012, 17:53 PM

Hey.

Where are you from/ which Uni are you at?

Apr 14th, 2012, 15:25 PM	#1
Lola90 Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: UK Posts: 1,242	Really lonely. Will I make mummy friends? I was just wondering if anyone else has had this too? Im currently a student, I dont live in halls, I live in a house with my friend and my ex boyfriend was also here before but that's a difficult situation now. Anyway I've found myself feeling increasingly lonely since I found out I was pregnant. Baby wasn't planned but there was never any question about keeping it, regardless of being a student or finances or anything. My biggest problem at the moment is feeling completely alone and isolated from my friends. Being a student I had a lot of friends that I would go out drinking and clubbing with and to me it's totally out of the question now, even to go out with them and not drink. I'm tired all the time and I just don't wanna be that way anymore. But now I never see anyone! I have these visions of being completely alone with a baby and no friends. I don't know how to start over and meet people with the same interests I have now. I feel really rubbish about it and I suppose I need some reassurance or advice xx

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 15:31 PM	#2
6lilpigs Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,902	Yes, you'll find new friends! Maybe even at the college as I'm sure your not going to be the only young mum on campus Does the college have a nursery for putting LO in when your ready? If so get your name down now as I think places go pretty quickly in them. Think of things as an exciting new beginning without the need of cheap drink and empty friends, having a baby really opens your eyes up to whats important, best of luck xx

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 15:37 PM	#3
Lola90 Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: UK Posts: 1,242	Nugget is due in October which is when the new term starts so it's looking like I'll have to defer the year and take year out. It's so funny I used to be out every weekend and all of that and now I just can't see the sense in it. I'd rather be home watching britains got talent and early night! I just can't relate to my friends at the moment and I don't expect them to stay in with me.

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 15:41 PM	#4
bodi26 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: UK Posts: 126	Although it's hard during pregnancy, once baby is here, your whole outlook will change and you'll probably find that you don't have much in common anymore with those who are only interested in drinking & clubbing. Your baby will be the most important thing and socialising with them will help you make mummy friends, whether that's going to local mum & baby groups, the local library, the park etc. you're bound to find some mums to talk to. Failing that, you could always try online 'meet a mum' websites where you can get in touch with others local to you who are also looking for other mummies to socialise with. Apart from friends, are you generally otherwise happy? Losing interest in friends and normal activities can also be a sign of depression and it's not uncommon to have antenatal depression - just a thought hun

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 15:45 PM	#5
kim'sbump Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Wakefield West Yorkshire, England Posts: 313	I found it easier to make friends with a baby than without. Just make sure you go to baby groups/ new mum groups & of course you'll make friends.

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 15:53 PM	#6
kittylady Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 1,675	Hey I'm studying part-time, and working and everyone is like that, clubbing and partying, I'm branching out, I've been to my local childrens centre and they do baby stay and plays where you can meet mums, I'm going to the NHS antenatal classes too just trying to find other mums to talk to. I think the neighbour next door is pregnant but shes now avoiding me, maybe cause I look young There will be somewhere you can go and there will be mums you will meet, just be positive hun

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 15:55 PM	#7
M&S+Bump Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 2,041	A baby is a great conversation starter and means you automatically have something in common with loads of different women who you'd probably never meet or talk to otherwise. I've made some great 'mummy' friends from my NCT class and from going along to things like breastfeeding support group and mum and baby groups - my social circle has more than doubled from before. Some of the groups can be cliquey but you just need to persevere. Pregnancy can be a really lonely time but once your bubs puts in an appearance you can have a full social calender in no time with very little effort!

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 17:53 PM	#10
Laurakiaora Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Exeter, UK Posts: 706	Hey. Where are you from/ which Uni are you at?

Status: Offline

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