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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 02:36 AM   1
Per16
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my toddlers behaviour is making me doubt our decision:(


Morning girls oh my word I am so emotional today - everything has just got on top of me and I had a total breakdown this morning, sobbed for 2 hours. my 2 and a half year old daughter is driving me mad, her behaviouris terrible. She wakes up all night to fuss for breast, she hits me, scratches me, tells me to go away. everything results in the biggest tantrums which my husband cant even physically control I feel like a total failure of a mother. I have done everything in my power to do things right. I take her out everyday, I still feed her, I read her stories, I play with her I tell her I love her every day, we cuddle, everything I I still feel like she hates me. All of this is making me doubt I will be able to cope with two children when I have cocked up just the one! this baby was very much planned and we were so excited about it now I am just scared, anxious and wondering if we will be able to do it, I feel so sad to even think like this I dont want my baby to even pick up on these vibes but I cant help it. I know DD has been indulged her whole life and she thinks she is in charge - Ineed to step up to the plate and take it in hand but I just feel so dam tired and emotional - all our family live in SA so thousands of miles away I just feel scared and sorry for myself sorry for the rant



 
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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 02:52 AM   2
LostAndAlone
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oh im starting to know how you feel! My lo is nearly 18 months and is now running around and into everything! You can tell her no until you are blue in the face and she doesnt listen! I know she is still really young but she seems wild compaired to my oldest who is now 7. I cant remember her being so loud and crazy lol. The good thing is, you still have a few months to try and sort something out. It could just be the terrible 2's where they can answer you back now and have an opinion on everything and already know how to get thier own way. If my oldest ever took a tantrum i would completly ignore her and just leave her to it an she always came to me when she was finished for a cuddle and i told her to say she was sorry first and explained to her what she had done wrong and that she wasnt to do it again and she soon out grew it. I dont know if it would make a difference but have you considered getting her onto a sippy cup now she is bigger to see if this helps her to settle better? Also i know you spend a lot of time with her but have you considered taking her to a toddler group or something where she can tire herself out playing with other kids? This will also help her learn to share toys and to realise she isnt the only child. Do you have a good routine for bedtime? I.e supper, bath time, story time then bed at the same time each night so she knows whats going to happen as kids hate when things change and really do better on a routine. Another thing, may not apply but does she get a lot of sweets or sugary foods throughout the day as this too can cause kids to be very cranky and have bad mood swings? As for hitting i would introduce a naughty step or time out area so she knows why she is in there and has a minute or 2 to think about what she has done and why she is not to do it. I know she is still young but you dont want to be struggling with 2 kids and she will feel better for it when she is behaving better as she will be happier all round.



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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 02:55 AM   3
leahsbabybump
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awww hun dont blame yourself like this and dont get upset my little 10 month old is exactly the same she wants her own way all the time and if you dont do what she wants she lays their screaming and kicking you shes a proper little madam :-/
kids do pick up on how you are feeling towards them so you need to stay posotive and strong and strt to put your foot down with her a bit at a time :-)
at the moment we are trying to get our dd to sleep in her own bed as she has slept with us since she october due to her tantuming not to go in her cot.
After this we are going to try and coax her from wanting a bottle so much
i think the key is to not try and tackle everyt problem at the sma etime just go it bit by bit :-)
youll get there hun just stay strong
if all else fails could you take her to see a behavioural therapist :-/



 
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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 02:57 AM   4
fidgets mammy
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Ah love bless u. Toddlers are hard work. I work with them.
It sounds like shes playing you for the booby tho. I would work on getting her off. After all she doesnt need it need now. And when baby comes along i assume you will breast feed it.
Is yr daughter in a routine? Do u use a firm voice and get down on he level when she acts up. If not try it.. A firm no and sitting her down and walking away will help get u away from it too.
She will know things are going on so will be confused and will be pushing all yr buttons but i strongly believe kids still need the structure. My 5 yr old has bn pishing some pf my buttons lately which is unlike im. If u want any avice just ask.



 
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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 02:59 AM   5
LostAndAlone
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oh and one more thing. You should get a sticker reward chart so that she can earn stickers for good behavour and once she has so many stickers (maybe 15 or 20) then she gets a reward, it doenst have to cost money it could be a picnic in the park or something like this. She should be awarded stickers for good behavour, helping to tidy up, being thoughful and kind etc. This too will give her something to want to be good for but also if she is bad ie hits etc then she has a sticker removed! She will soon learn hun, its all part of having a toddler in the terrible 2's but there are ways around about it and to make it easier xx



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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 03:11 AM   6
sarasparra
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Hi hun, first off big hugs to you - toddlers can be very hard work.

I think you've been given some good advice so far. If you can then it will really help to tackle her behaviour before baba comes along. She won't like discipline of course, especially if she is used to getting her own way but it'll be best for all of you in the long run.

You mention about not being able to control her tantrums but I don't think you should even try. It is kid's way of letting off steam so if she is having a big paddy then make sure she can't hurt herself and leave her to it. I know it's very hard (I have a DD who was 2 in Feb) but try to ignore the tantrum and eventually they will wear themselves out. She needs to learn that negative behaviour doesn't earn attention. My DD will tantrum and then after being ignored for long enough she'll come for a cuddle.

Reward charts and stickers work brilliantly too - I think girls are particularly drawn to them so give that a go. Although it will be hard, if you can set ground rules now and toughen up then it will all be worth it in the long run.

Lots of mums on here to help too so feel free to post any time or PM if you want to. Hope this hasn't sounded like preaching but just trying to help out. I am sure you are a brilliant mum and we all just do the best that we can - being a mum is bloody hard work!!
xx



 
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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 10:30 AM   7
Per16
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Thank you girls! I really appreciate all your kind help, she is in such a routine same every day and she doesnt eat badly I think she is just like her dad and I so bloody minded! I feel somuch better after having a nap and going to toddlers and seeing all our friends, I am planning on weaning her this week (heeeelp!) and I have just ordered a reward chart as you have said - I feel a bit more robust now thank you girls xxx



 
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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 10:40 AM   8
leahsbabybump
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perhaps some mums in baby club or toddler section of BnB could help you with the weening i weening my lo of boobie at 3 months which was really easy but will be harder for you so sorry im no help there :-/



 
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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 11:00 AM   9
Shezza84uk
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I weened my little girl at 2.5 I literally just stopped and expressed she relied soley on solids and when she wanted a feed I gave her the option of milk, water or depending on the time of day I'd give her sugar free baby juice she didnt want it then but eventually settled after a week it's very scarey initially but you will get there xxx



 
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