Ever since I got pregnant we haven't had sex much because there's always been some reason I don't want to like 'gotta wait until 12 weeks because it could do harm' then I got an infection which is harmless when not pregnant but can cause preterm labour and other issues when pregnant I got it at 13 weeks couldn't seem to kick it with 2 bouts of antibiotics and caused me a scare at 18 weeks which saw me in hospital ! I'm now 25 weeks and I'm terrified of preterm labour and getting that infection back especially since I just got rid of it !
But OH has been saying how stressed he is because he can't let of steam thought that and hes always going on about it! I do feel sorry for him but I wish he would try to understand where I'm coming from to! I always feel horrible that I can't bring myself to do it but I feel so protective over the life I'm growing and don't want to take any risks! I told him at 30 weeks maybe but who knows ! I feel like he's getting so desperate for something that he's going to do soemthig stupid and cheat or get it somewhere else he tells me he would never do it but he talks and asks all the time and I'm scared! What do you think?

If you're scared he'll cheat on you just because of that then you either have relationship issues that need to be discussed or you have trust issues that you need to address.

If you're in a committed relationship you shouldn't be worrying about him straying, unless he gives you a reason too.

Why can't you just 'release his stress' by foreplay instead of actual sex?
At least he will be getting something.
My OH gets all stressy when we haven't DTD for a couple of days and because my sex drive has decreased I just don't feel like it so just pleasure him in other ways.

He's happy and I'm happy... Happy days!! X

Can't he... you know... help himself?

I'm so sorry your having those thoughts. My opinion, he should understand completely your reasons of not wanting to do it. He shouldn't keep asking you if he knows you don't want to. He can blow off steam by using his hand! So that is not a good enough excuse when having sex will just cause you more worry for the baby. If I was in that position (DH is deployed right now, so I'm not) I would tell him to do it himself! My DH gets back next month and if I'm still having an insane amount of braxton hicks then I'm not going to do it with him and he can deal with it. We don't do this to torture them, we do this to protect our babies. They need to understand that. Maybe just talk to him and tell him exactly how your feeling and maybe he'll understand a little more. Men are easy, their hands work just fine! Or even your hands!

what tupe of infection did u get and how did sex cause it? are we talking UTI? ....He should be understanding if u are not up for sex. So what about oral sex? cant u give that to him? also there is foreplay as well.

Agree! It's the other way around with us my hubby can not be convinced that he won't hurt the baby, no matter what info I show him. So therefore our fun is just not full sex for a while but having fun still and means you can keep that closeness that the physical side of things has x

It's probably not just the physical aspect he is probably missing the intimacy too. My husband has a hard time getting it threw his head that I have no sex drive and ask constantly, it's kind of like a kid who ask to play outside they figure if they ask enough you might say yes once lol. Sorry if this is tmi, but usually I help him help his self if I don't want to do the more physical bits of fore play.

Don't let yourself think those sorts of thoughts... If you have always trusted him then trust him now and just understand that he must be feeling frustrated and missing the intimacy. I would say to do other things that don't involve actually having sex if you are nervous about it but also, why not speak to your doctor/ midwife about your concerns? They might be able to reassure you that it is safe.

Most important of all, talk to him about it - he might be finding the change hard and even be worrying about things not being the same again once baby is here etc...

Hope you find a way to resolve this and both be happy! xxx

I kind of felt the same at the beginning of my pregnancy - I didn't really want to do it.

Instead, we just "played" with each other, and to be completely honest - that was probably the most amazing thing we've ever done and there was no penetrative sex involved at all.

Perhaps give that a try. You don't need to have full blown sex to enjoy each other