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Old Dec 22nd, 2017, 08:01 AM   51
red_head
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Thank you both I’ve been trying to relax, did some wrapping and am now going to do some chemical free cleaning to take my mind off it! I’ve got another frer for tomorrow now, and brought some online so I check progression until my scan next week. I’ve just been thinking though - I was going to dye my hair tomorrow but I don’t want to now as I’m paranoid about doing anything wrong that might hurt things! After the last two losses I really blamed myself and this time I just want to make sure I don’t put a foot wrong, so at least then I know it’s something I couldn’t control. Not that I really did anything wrong last time, but I’d only recently (lol it was like 4 months so it is me being an idiot) quit smoking and worried there would be some in my system, but it’s been a year or more now so it’s fine!!



 
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Old Dec 22nd, 2017, 10:21 AM   52
red_head
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I freaked myself out again so did another frer and Iíd say itís just as dark as this morning, possibly a little darker which has made me feel so much better. Iím really trying to chill out and distract myself and I do feel happy and excited but Iím so worried and just googling every little twinge, or lack of twinge etc. Itís just been such a tough year, and part of me is hoping this is the good making up for it, but Iíve been suffering with anxiety (obviously!) and depression, and that part of me just thinks this is only happening so it can be taken away again, knowing my luck on Christmas Day! I feel guilty because I want to be excited and calm and enjoy every second, that naive happiness I had the first time I was pregnant, but itís just impossible!



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Old Dec 22nd, 2017, 10:24 AM   53
robo123
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That line looks great, I was the same in this pregnancy I have not enjoyed because I have been too anxious and worried: I'm 4 days away from my due date and still struggle to relax. It's so hard when you have been through losses. I really have my fingers crossed that this is your sticky rainbow baby. Xx



 
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Old Dec 22nd, 2017, 10:33 AM   54
MKaykes
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I'm sure you have a ton of anxiety about it, I also keep thinking my pregnancy will be ripped from me after trying for so long and only 1 chemical, you've been through much more. I just keep trying to live in the moment, today we are pregnant! Treat yourself like you are, eat as best you can and get good rest, do things you enjoy to keep your stress down.

One thing I've read is that hpt are qualitative - either you are or you aren't (vs qualitative blood tests giving actual numbers). I tried not to stress about the line based on that, as long as there is a line it's good! Someone actually posted two tests from the same urine, one was light, one was dark. So, I just worry if you keep testing daily if you get a lighter one that you'll get concerned which may not be necessary. I'm down to once a week tests until my scan next week, can you hold off until your appt next week? Maybe take one on Christmas to ease your mind so you can enjoy your holiday?



 
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Old Dec 22nd, 2017, 10:46 AM   55
red_head
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Robo you must be so excited!! I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, but this is your happy ending Thank you for being so kind

Mkaykes that’s really good advice - I honestly don’t think I can stop testing daily yet - although I will start doing it once a day only now - although that was my plan today! I just need to get to seven weeks and I hope then i’ll calm down, or the scan if we can see something - that’s the furthest I’ve ever gotten and I’ve never made it to a happy scan - I’ve been there about six times in all (including some investigations and clomid scans, etc), same machine every time and every time it’s been sad - I think that’s at the back of mind and isn’t helping things. The ward where they do it is below ground level, so no natural lighting and I get so claustrophobic in there, being poked about with an internal scan and needles and trying to hold it together - honestly it’s turned into a bit of a nightmare to think about! I think once I see there really is something there and this isn’t just a cruel joke then I will calm down!



 
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Old Dec 22nd, 2017, 10:49 AM   56
Ask4joy
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Looking good, Red! That’s what my progression looked like. A little bit darker each day. I took a FRER today to see what it would look like and the test line turned maroon and sucked all of the color out of the control line! I was like you and tested daily at the beginning. I stopped after my 2nd beta but have done a couple when I start feeling anxious. I totally understand the fear that comes with several losses!



 
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Old Dec 22nd, 2017, 10:55 AM   57
red_head
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How far along are you now? I think you’re about a week ahead of me? Maybe a bit more? I can’t wait to see a line darker than the control! I think I should have asked for them to check my beta and progesterone but I’ve missed my chance now til after Christmas. I don’t know whether it’s worth it or not then, and they might do it at the hospital Friday anyway.



 
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Old Dec 22nd, 2017, 11:44 AM   58
Ask4joy
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I’m 5w2d and I know I had relatively early implantation as I got my first faint positive 4dp5dt (equal to 9dpo). The progression is slow in the beginning because hcg is low, even as it’s doubling, but after it gets past 100-200 it rises very quickly!



 
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Old Dec 22nd, 2017, 16:19 PM   59
emma4g63
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Amazing lines on them frers

Congrats Hun xx pregnancy after multiple losses isn’t easy but looks like this is your turn for a rainbow


Xxx



 
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Old Dec 22nd, 2017, 16:55 PM   60
happycupcake
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To have progression in the space of a few hours is fabulous, I think this is a good sign!
Please don't blame yourself for your previous losses, they weren't your fault and there wasn't anything you could have done to prevent them happening. I blamed myself with my mc years ago because I helped carry a heavy fridge and I was taking antidepressants at the time, but I didn't know I was pregnant with the fridge thing and I couldn't just stop taking my meds. You could think of a million and one things to blame yourself for it but truth is it was likely a chromosomal abnormality, which happens, and it's natures way of being kind (I know to us it isn't kind) and letting go so that little one doesn't suffer.
As far as I'm aware dyeing your hair is ok. Two things to remember - the dye may react differently and it's possible it may turn out an odd colour, so I have read. Also, ensure you do a skin test because no matter how many times you've dyed your hair before, you can still develop an allergic reaction to the dye, especially the darker colours. The only dye that is really a safe bet is bleach. If you're concerned, ask them to use a cap on your head to keep the dye away from your skin, but do a strand test to make sure it isn't about to go a weird colour lol!
You deserve to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy, and I have everything crossed that this time, this one will stick



 
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