dont know what to say

louise61012 · Sep 20th, 2012, 05:34 AM

me and my husband got married last year this is our first baby, ive 16 days til my due date, he's getting excited, my mum wants to be there aswell when the baby is born but we dont really want her there cause its our first child, my mum was there with my sister when she had her 2 boys cause she was a single parent, if i tell her that we dont want her to come with us she'll go into a bad mood and not speak to us, and when the time comes if we go on without her she'll be in a bad mood, i dont want to hurt her feeling i know she wants to be there when the baby is born, i dont know what to do or say to her

Moonbeam1 · Sep 20th, 2012, 06:19 AM

Hi,
My mum was like that but luckily I dont mind her being ther! I think it will help my oh and he wont feel as bad if he needs to go out the room for a bit.
You need to be honest with her, its better to tell her beforehand then have her turn up at the hospital or trying to deal with the situation in early labour.
Its hard and she may be upset but just tell her exactly how you feel and hopefully she will understand you just have to bite the bullet!
Good luck

Jobean03 · Sep 20th, 2012, 07:02 AM

It's not her decision. Lie and say your doctor allows only one person in with you.

miss cakes · Sep 20th, 2012, 07:20 AM

just tell her you need her support when the baby is here but want the birth to be private between you and OH you dont have to give any other explanation its up to you she might sulk for a bit bt she will get over it its not like refusing to take her to a show its a private thing lol x

bitethebullet · Sep 20th, 2012, 07:23 AM

What Miss Cakes said.

I've even asked that my parents stay with our in laws when they come down to see the baby because I think it's important that my husband and I have time with the baby alone. I don't think it's a unreasonable request, especially as it's your first.

MrsClark · Sep 20th, 2012, 07:23 AM

Tell your mother you need support but would prefer to be alone with your hubby during the delivery. Hopefully she will understand

missk1989 · Sep 20th, 2012, 08:40 AM

My cousin had this problem with her mum who said she would just turn up when she was being induced. Luckily she went into labour naturally a few days before the induction so just didnt tell her mum until he was born. She was a little miffed but over it very quickly as all she was really bothered about was her grandson.

Blu_Butterfly · Sep 20th, 2012, 09:37 AM

I have this same issue with my MIL and my DH doesn't want to be the bad guy and tell her but I've already made it known that I think that it is a very private act and I certainly don't want anyone but my DH and doctors in the room with my legs open, spread eagle. Anywho, you just let your doctors/nurse know your wishes and they won't let anyone in except who you'd like. In that regard you don't have to worry about it while you there and can focus on what matters.

Icy · Sep 20th, 2012, 09:57 AM

I would just be honest that your not comfortable with her there. She may be hurt at first but it is better than lying or making up excuses.

AlwaysPraying · Sep 20th, 2012, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Icy

I would just be honest that your not comfortable with her there. She may be hurt at first but it is better than lying or making up excuses.

I totally agree with this. Right now is the transition from daughter to mother. Most moms don't know how to let their kids become parents of their own and it can be a little challenge for both sides. It's time for us daughters to be the moms of our new families and try as we might to make the best decisions for our families.

Sep 20th, 2012, 05:34 AM	#1
louise61012 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: ireland Posts: 19	dont know what to say me and my husband got married last year this is our first baby, ive 16 days til my due date, he's getting excited, my mum wants to be there aswell when the baby is born but we dont really want her there cause its our first child, my mum was there with my sister when she had her 2 boys cause she was a single parent, if i tell her that we dont want her to come with us she'll go into a bad mood and not speak to us, and when the time comes if we go on without her she'll be in a bad mood, i dont want to hurt her feeling i know she wants to be there when the baby is born, i dont know what to do or say to her

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Sep 20th, 2012, 06:19 AM	#2
Moonbeam1 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Uk Posts: 186	Hi, My mum was like that but luckily I dont mind her being ther! I think it will help my oh and he wont feel as bad if he needs to go out the room for a bit. You need to be honest with her, its better to tell her beforehand then have her turn up at the hospital or trying to deal with the situation in early labour. Its hard and she may be upset but just tell her exactly how you feel and hopefully she will understand you just have to bite the bullet! Good luck

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Sep 20th, 2012, 07:02 AM	#3
Jobean03 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: U.S. Posts: 1,004	It's not her decision. Lie and say your doctor allows only one person in with you.

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Sep 20th, 2012, 07:20 AM	#4
miss cakes Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: kent Posts: 6,642	just tell her you need her support when the baby is here but want the birth to be private between you and OH you dont have to give any other explanation its up to you she might sulk for a bit bt she will get over it its not like refusing to take her to a show its a private thing lol x

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Sep 20th, 2012, 07:23 AM	#5
bitethebullet Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 2,336	What Miss Cakes said. I've even asked that my parents stay with our in laws when they come down to see the baby because I think it's important that my husband and I have time with the baby alone. I don't think it's a unreasonable request, especially as it's your first.

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Sep 20th, 2012, 07:23 AM	#6
MrsClark Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Virginia, USA Posts: 254	Tell your mother you need support but would prefer to be alone with your hubby during the delivery. Hopefully she will understand

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Sep 20th, 2012, 08:40 AM	#7
missk1989 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 1,598	My cousin had this problem with her mum who said she would just turn up when she was being induced. Luckily she went into labour naturally a few days before the induction so just didnt tell her mum until he was born. She was a little miffed but over it very quickly as all she was really bothered about was her grandson.

Status: Offline

Sep 20th, 2012, 09:37 AM	#8
Blu_Butterfly Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: USA Posts: 853	I have this same issue with my MIL and my DH doesn't want to be the bad guy and tell her but I've already made it known that I think that it is a very private act and I certainly don't want anyone but my DH and doctors in the room with my legs open, spread eagle. Anywho, you just let your doctors/nurse know your wishes and they won't let anyone in except who you'd like. In that regard you don't have to worry about it while you there and can focus on what matters.

Status: Offline

Sep 20th, 2012, 09:57 AM	#9
Icy Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 443	I would just be honest that your not comfortable with her there. She may be hurt at first but it is better than lying or making up excuses.

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