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Old Dec 10th, 2012, 22:29 PM   1
MetalMaiden
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How to NOT ACCEPT a baby gift??


Firstly I am a very grateful, appreciative, laid back and happy go lucky person. BUT... I absolutely loathe my coworker... she screws me over all the time (aka she's on her 3rd random week off in a row, I never know whats going on and I am more than swamped in my last week of work doing both of our jobs, there is only two of us and this happens all the time) she's very lazy, doesn't do things properly if she doesn't want to do it (then i have to fix it) and wastes the day ALL the time (talking, "cleaning", ect). She is also SUPER manipulative in a very passive/aggressive way.. starts crying one minute, stirring the pot the next ect ect I could go on... needless to say I have no respect for her, I don't trust her and I am SO done with the work scene. I recently heard that she was yapping about me "getting the next 2 Christmas's off"... so does she... xmas is a stat holiday!

I know she is getting/making me something and I don't expect (or want really) anyone to get me anything AT ALL (i feel guilty?) and so grateful an appreciative to receive even a congrats... but i am SO pissed off at her right now for screwing me yet again, esp right now when Im trying to get crap cleaned up for the good of the office (and less for her to do?!) plus my own stuff wrapped up (that I have taken responsibility for because she ignores these other important things) that I could care less if I ever saw her again. i dont want her to come to my "goodbye" lunch on friday (which is her regular day off so she might not anyway) and I sure as hell don't want anything from her!! Return To Sender!! I feel so rude even thinking this way but its another one of her "manipulative moves" that I want no part of....

Sorry for the rant!! I don't know how to handle this



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 00:19 AM   2
MrsBabyBump
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i'm in a similiar situation.
my dad recently got a new gf and i do NOT like her whatsoever.
she's two-faced as hell, and doesn't want my dad around his own mother because she thinks they are too close, and wants to be the only woman in his life. but my dad is suppose to suck up to her parents and spend every moment he has free over there. and when he does come over to see his mom, she'll either come with him and rush him off or will constantly text/call him making excuses for him to have to leave. it pisses me off soo bad.
but anyways, she wants to give me a crib she had for her son but only used once or twice, but i've found a way to reject it BUT in a way that nobody can get mad at me or DH. as dad would have a hissy fit if he knew i didn't like his new prize possession..ugh gag.
i'm simply going to tell them that DH's grandmother already got us one (she didn't really, we went and bought one ourselves)
but that we couldn't refuse it because it was just a suprise gift and we would have felt bad making her return it.
and seeing as how you don't like this lady anyways, i wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings as it sounds she is quite the terror anyways.
maybe you could just politely tell her you would rather not accept her gift as she is horrid? LOL



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 00:38 AM   3
MetalMaiden
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBabyBump View Post
i'm in a similiar situation.
my dad recently got a new gf and i do NOT like her whatsoever.
she's two-faced as hell, and doesn't want my dad around his own mother because she thinks they are too close, and wants to be the only woman in his life. but my dad is suppose to suck up to her parents and spend every moment he has free over there. and when he does come over to see his mom, she'll either come with him and rush him off or will constantly text/call him making excuses for him to have to leave. it pisses me off soo bad.
but anyways, she wants to give me a crib she had for her son but only used once or twice, but i've found a way to reject it BUT in a way that nobody can get mad at me or DH. as dad would have a hissy fit if he knew i didn't like his new prize possession..ugh gag.
i'm simply going to tell them that DH's grandmother already got us one (she didn't really, we went and bought one ourselves)
but that we couldn't refuse it because it was just a suprise gift and we would have felt bad making her return it.
and seeing as how you don't like this lady anyways, i wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings as it sounds she is quite the terror anyways.
maybe you could just politely tell her you would rather not accept her gift as she is horrid? LOL
I totally feel for you! i wud do the same thing, she sounds very selfish, controlling and immature. Thats a good excuse do it!! no one disrespects a grama! haha. Thats terrible that she interferes with him and his mom brutal! good for you for putting your foot down!

You have no idea how bad I want to tell her that shes awful LOL its like a catch 22... if i accept it, then "she wins" (although its not about winning i know, its about something for the baby) but its like she wont "get it" unless I don't accept it! I know "it will break her heart if I don't accept it" but she is one of the most manipulative, emotionally complex ppl i know, and thats what she does, screws me then sucks up with things then tries to bad mouth me!! at least everyone knows how ridiculous she is but ugh its a never ending cycle. it feels like an abusive relationship. like i really need the extra stress and work burden in an already stressful job! even my boss said to me the other day he wouldn't blame me if i didn't come back...



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 01:10 AM   4
MrsBabyBump
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hmmm, maybe you could accept it but tell her only on the condition that she stops trash talking you behind your back, and deliberately being hard to get along with. i would be like we are all adults here and i would like for us to act like it. we have to work together everyday and i would appreciate it if you could atleast be civil. oh! and thank you for the gift (: see you when my leave is over (; haha!
i'm probably not much help, but maybe i can atleast give you a laugh or two to take away from the stress so much!



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 03:06 AM   5
Cat lady
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How about accepting the gift politely of course and then getting her an equally 'good' christmas gift in return. Then you are square!!
I know you probably dont want to buy her a gift but perhaps you should play her game this time around!
xxx



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 03:15 AM   6
joo
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Give her a "gift" in return... I'm thinking of some really crap work that you "completely forgot about" or "just didn't have time to do" with you being on your own and and all, and just leave it in a drawer and mention it to her, really apologetically, on your last day as you're leaving.



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 03:20 AM   7
Redhead84
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I'd just accept gracefully if I were you. If you don't want it, throw it or give it away after but there's no point in causing yet more hassle over something reletively trivial imo.

If you refuse, however tactfully, there is no way you don't come out looking the bad guy and ungrateful (however far from the truth this is).

We all have people in our lives that we don't get on with, and would like to stick it to at every opportunity - but sometimes going along to get along and being the better person is the best thing all round.



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 04:23 AM   8
hopefulfor1st
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Just take, and be happy it cost her time/ money!!



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 04:45 AM   9
xpatchx
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I would accept it and throw it in the loft or bin. Like a pp has said no matter how gravefully you do it you will come out looking ungrateful and she will get what she wants. And if you have to go back there after maternity leave you dont want her to concuct a way to screw you over then too!



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 04:45 AM   10
kintenda
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Personally, I would just accept it. I understand that you don't like her and that she's made life difficult, but maybe this is her way of trying to reach out. Even if it's not and you do think that it's a manipulative move, there's no way really that you can refuse the gift and still come across well, as she'd be likely to tell others that you work with. You don't have to use whatever she gives you, but I would definitely accept it just to make life that little bit easier! X



 
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