Audience During the Birth xD

Heather212 · Feb 27th, 2013, 00:20 AM

Hi all,

I've been pondering this issue for a while as my partner seems to want to watch the birth. I know this is very common in the United Stares (actually most of the movies and TV series I've watched have the partner in the delivery room) so I understand how he feels.

But I am foreign and personally I find it a bit awkward. It must be the fact that it isn't common in my country for men to witness a birth. My father did not watch me being born, nor did my grandfather watch my mom being born and so on. So I find it a bit uncomfortable as if I invited him to watch me in the toilet

(LMAO). I know it's not the same thing but I can't help feeling stressed about it.

To make things worse, I heard it's common for women to throw up and/or get diarrhea during labor. That just doesn't sound like the type of situation that I would want my partner to watch

Does anyone feel the same way? And, if not, why? Maybe your input will help me feel differently about this

shambaby · Feb 27th, 2013, 00:39 AM

Absolutely noone should be present during a birth because they want to watch! Childbirth is not a spectator sport!

BUT I wouldn't want to go through it without my husband there - his role is to support me, be there for me, and to share our child's first moments in the world with me. This is my 2nd baby, had a c-section first time, and likely to this time, but the principle is still the same. Although he did kind of watch Hayden being born, which I'm actually a little jealous of!

If you are at all uncomfortable having your partner there, then don't let yourself be pressured into it. But talk to him first about what he expects his role to be. You may find he could be a big help to you. It's only relatively recently become common for men to be present at the birth in the last couple of generation here, too. X

meandmrb2011 · Feb 27th, 2013, 01:09 AM

My hubs is actually away on duty , but when we thought he was home he was told that it was a strictly head end policy. I don't need him seeing that lol. . . My mum will be there and she is a retired mw/nurse and has seen me birth/barf/pee/poop before lol xxx

Mrs Bee · Feb 27th, 2013, 01:23 AM

My husband will be my birth partner... I don't want my mum in with me because I feel it's a special time for me and my husband... I know many men who ventured below the waist during delivery and were scarred for life... So my hubby will be avoiding that area for his own good!

go with how you feel, if you don't want him there then explain to him why... But I do think if he wants to be there he will feel hurt that you don't feel the same way... But at the end of the day... Your body=your choice

Mummy May · Feb 27th, 2013, 01:29 AM

I will be having OH with me and wouldn't have it any other way, its a very special time for Dad's aswell! xx

MomPepperdine · Feb 27th, 2013, 02:04 AM

When it comes down to it you don't know your pooing and what not and you don't care who's there. Yes here in th states its very common to have daddy (and more ) in the room my DH sees it as a magical time to see his child come into the world I couldn't imagin not having him there! And the men that freak out after seeeing that seems odd to me dh still loves all of my body (I've gained a lot of wieght since we had our first like 30lb) but never once has him seeing me give birth bothered him in anyway including sexually

marymoomin · Feb 27th, 2013, 02:13 AM

The child is my partners too. I would never deny him the experience.

shambaby · Feb 27th, 2013, 02:28 AM

Also wanted to add, as others have said, it is his baby coming into the world, too, and my husband would be devastated if he couldn't be there for his baby's birth and first moments out in the world. I think very few fathers are actually there at the 'business end' watching the baby actually emerge, they tend to stay at the head end, so they pretty much see what you see. So I don't see it as having an 'audience' at all, more as the person I trust most in the world being there to support me and share the most amazing and special time in our lives together.

ispeakinsongs · Feb 27th, 2013, 03:12 AM

I understand how you feel...given the choice I'd do it by myself, but my partner wants to be there, so I'll let him

doggylover · Feb 27th, 2013, 03:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meandmrb2011

but when we thought he was home he was told that it was a strictly head end policy.

^^^ WSS. My husband is only allowed at the head end. Neither of us have any desire for him to see anything down the other end, I think he'd be sick

It's totally a personal decision, but as PPs have mentioned, it's more about your OH being there to support you and share those first special moments with your LO.

My dad was at our births, but that was a pretty unusual thing back then, but now in NI it's uncommon for men NOT to be there, as they have as much "ownership" of the baby as the mumma, and are seen to be just as important in those first few minutes.

Feb 27th, 2013, 00:20 AM	#1
Heather212 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: NY, USA Posts: 239	Audience During the Birth xD Hi all, I've been pondering this issue for a while as my partner seems to want to watch the birth. I know this is very common in the United Stares (actually most of the movies and TV series I've watched have the partner in the delivery room) so I understand how he feels. But I am foreign and personally I find it a bit awkward. It must be the fact that it isn't common in my country for men to witness a birth. My father did not watch me being born, nor did my grandfather watch my mom being born and so on. So I find it a bit uncomfortable as if I invited him to watch me in the toilet (LMAO). I know it's not the same thing but I can't help feeling stressed about it. To make things worse, I heard it's common for women to throw up and/or get diarrhea during labor. That just doesn't sound like the type of situation that I would want my partner to watch Does anyone feel the same way? And, if not, why? Maybe your input will help me feel differently about this

Status: Offline

Feb 27th, 2013, 00:39 AM	#2
shambaby Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK Posts: 3,866	Absolutely noone should be present during a birth because they want to watch! Childbirth is not a spectator sport! BUT I wouldn't want to go through it without my husband there - his role is to support me, be there for me, and to share our child's first moments in the world with me. This is my 2nd baby, had a c-section first time, and likely to this time, but the principle is still the same. Although he did kind of watch Hayden being born, which I'm actually a little jealous of! If you are at all uncomfortable having your partner there, then don't let yourself be pressured into it. But talk to him first about what he expects his role to be. You may find he could be a big help to you. It's only relatively recently become common for men to be present at the birth in the last couple of generation here, too. X

Status: Offline

Feb 27th, 2013, 01:09 AM	#3
meandmrb2011 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Dumfries And Galloway Posts: 1,512	My hubs is actually away on duty , but when we thought he was home he was told that it was a strictly head end policy. I don't need him seeing that lol. . . My mum will be there and she is a retired mw/nurse and has seen me birth/barf/pee/poop before lol xxx

Status: Offline

Feb 27th, 2013, 01:23 AM	#4
Mrs Bee Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 512	My husband will be my birth partner... I don't want my mum in with me because I feel it's a special time for me and my husband... I know many men who ventured below the waist during delivery and were scarred for life... So my hubby will be avoiding that area for his own good! go with how you feel, if you don't want him there then explain to him why... But I do think if he wants to be there he will feel hurt that you don't feel the same way... But at the end of the day... Your body=your choice

Status: Offline

Feb 27th, 2013, 01:29 AM	#5
Mummy May Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2012 Location: Cumbria Posts: 3,101	I will be having OH with me and wouldn't have it any other way, its a very special time for Dad's aswell! xx

Status: Offline

Feb 27th, 2013, 02:04 AM	#6
MomPepperdine Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: middle of nowhere idaho Posts: 1,677	When it comes down to it you don't know your pooing and what not and you don't care who's there. Yes here in th states its very common to have daddy (and more ) in the room my DH sees it as a magical time to see his child come into the world I couldn't imagin not having him there! And the men that freak out after seeeing that seems odd to me dh still loves all of my body (I've gained a lot of wieght since we had our first like 30lb) but never once has him seeing me give birth bothered him in anyway including sexually

Status: Online

Feb 27th, 2013, 02:13 AM	#7
marymoomin Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 978	The child is my partners too. I would never deny him the experience.

Status: Offline

Feb 27th, 2013, 02:28 AM	#8
shambaby Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK Posts: 3,866	Also wanted to add, as others have said, it is his baby coming into the world, too, and my husband would be devastated if he couldn't be there for his baby's birth and first moments out in the world. I think very few fathers are actually there at the 'business end' watching the baby actually emerge, they tend to stay at the head end, so they pretty much see what you see. So I don't see it as having an 'audience' at all, more as the person I trust most in the world being there to support me and share the most amazing and special time in our lives together.

Status: Offline

Feb 27th, 2013, 03:12 AM	#9
ispeakinsongs Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 894	I understand how you feel...given the choice I'd do it by myself, but my partner wants to be there, so I'll let him

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