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Old Mar 4th, 2017, 08:32 AM   1
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Baby #5, but so worried and anxious

It is almost like I have managed to forget everything in the three short years since having what I thought would be my last baby, but - I am freaking out majorly.

My last three pregnancies I have been diagnosed with GD. All have been diet-regulated, but my last pregnancy wasn't as successful at that and ended up with a 9# 4oz baby with linebacker shoulders that got slightly stuck, even though she was induced a week early.

I am due April 1st, so I'm almost 36 weeks. I am not at all prepared - I don't even have the nursery cleaned out (full of toddler toys and stuff), don't have the bassinet set up (still tidying my room and need hubby to rearrange furniture once I have all clutter removed), haven't washed any baby clothes (still up in the attic), managed to pick up the infant car seat from storage but its not been cleaned let alone installed in the car (which also hasn't been cleaned out and is pretty gross considering 4 small to medium kids routinely leave their stuff in there), and I just don't feel ready. At all. My parents were so involved in my first pregnancy 10 years ago, but my dad passed 6 years ago, and my mom.... well, she's never been that reliable and its gotten worse (understandably) since dad passed. And I feel silly asking for help - I'm a grown up, I know what to expect with kids now, and my and hubby didn't exactly plan to have this baby, but we didn't precisely execute our prevention plan either, so asking for help seems weird.

But all that is absolutely nothing compared to how freaked out I am right now because I had a horrifically high number yesterday (240), more than 2 hours after eating. I went to bed early and drank lots of water, but was restless. Got up a couple hours later with full on night sweats (this only happens to me immediately AFTER pregnancy as my body sheds all those extra fluids, or if I have been ill with high fever and it breaks so highly unusual), was feeling a little shaky and while I normally don't test blood sugar during the night I did and it was down to 60. My normal fasting numbers have been around 85. It also had seemed like baby is moving less. I was drinking cold almost icy water, and still nothing. I was laying on one side and then the other. Nothing. This baby has had super active periods really pummelling me from one side to the other, and I was getting nothing. I thought I felt some faint moves really low, but that was it. I woke hubby, and he told me to each a sandwich.... So I did. And I tried to sleep some more, but I've been pretty restless all night.

This morning, baby seems to be moving a bit as I sat down to google everything under the sun surrounding massive swings in blood sugar, placenta deterioration, GD, decreased fetal activity, all that stuff and figure out if I should be calling my OB right now, or just heading directly into the ER or what. So now I am conflicted again. This kind of uncertainty and hesitancy plagues me towards the end of pregnancy (which is why I almost had baby #1 in the car, because I was so uncertain if I was in active labor or not having been sent home a few days earlier with false labor, that by the time it was certain I was in transition!), and I'm still worried about all those scary things but also feeling sheepish because I have a super busy weekend trying to get all the baby prep done so that the house is put back together enough to feel ok welcoming people soon, and so that hubby doesn't have it all to do himself (he is a darling and he would, but of course he wouldn't *quite* do it the way I would, and.... well, I'm sure some of you can relate!!).

I have my normal appointment Tuesday afternoon, with an ultrasound (will have them weekly if not even more frequently for the rest of the pregnancy due to the GD and 'advanced maternal age' - I'm 38). Should I call into their after hours/weekend number anyway? WAit for my appointment? See if the local urgent care has a doppler so I can hear baby's heart? Should I drive myself into the ER/women's hospital? Drag my poor family up? Bah, if this was my first and I was worried hubby and I would already have gone in last night :/ So now I also stress because #5 is already getting shortchanged/different treatment from the first 4.

Seriously feeling like I can't trust any of my instincts and that no matter what I do I'm failing someone. At least baby is definitely moving now.

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Old Mar 4th, 2017, 08:50 AM   2
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Ok, first things first- yours and baby's health here is most important, not the sorting of rooms, cleaning Etc, that can all come later(i know you only have a month left but it'll happen)

You need to get checked over, reduced movement always needs checking, and although I have very little knowledge of GD I can tell that you are worried, and that's enough. Please don't wait till your appt, go today.

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Old Mar 4th, 2017, 11:03 AM   3
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I echo what pp said. Please if in doubt, go and get checked out. What is the worst that can happen if you go, they will check baby and find out that he or she is ok and then send you home. But what is the worse that can happen if you don't go. Please go that is what ER is there for. Good luck and trust your gut x

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Old Mar 4th, 2017, 23:10 PM   4
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They will definitely want to know if your sugar went as high as 240, and then as low as 60. That to me says you are not able to be simply diet controlled anymore, and they may want to get you on a medication to help. That happened to me my first pregnancy.
Couple that with decreased movement and I would definitely go in as soon as you can to get monitored. It could be nothing, but getting checked out never hurts.

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Old Mar 10th, 2017, 23:12 PM   5
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Hi! I totally could have written your post-- I am almost 37 weeks with my 4th, but also plagued with anxiety and fear. I had a dream a few weeks ago that the baby died due to cord deterioration at 38 +1 gestation and it scared me a lot. I talked to my OB and he was really understanding and said that we would do NST at 38 weeks to calm me. I was also stressed because baby was breech up until 36 weeks, but she turned without me knowing and is now head-down.

I've also been terribly sick with the cold/flu and its grown to both ears infected and my sinuses and who knows what else. I finally did a blood test to confirm bacterial infection and started antibiotics 3 days ago because I was so afraid that I had pneumonia and the low oxygen would affect baby.

Childbirth and pregnancy are just a few things left in the world that we can't control (although many are trying!). In modern society, we aren't used to "not knowing" anymore and so it gives us great anxiety. It helps me to remember that our ancestors lived with a great many things beyond their control: depending on a decent harvest to survive, no vaccines or antibiotics leading to huge child mortality rates, etc etc.

I don't know if you are religious but I just keep praying to God "thy will be done" and "give me the strength to accept thy will, whatever it may be".

Take Care & I hope you have a safe delivery!

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