Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Mar 19th, 2017, 16:47 PM   1
wtbmummy
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Portsmouth, England
Posts: 1,871

Those with children already and no family around.....


What are you doing with your older kids whilst in labor?

My main plan of having my step mum come here is looking unlikely as well.... she never talks to us This was my favorite plan as meant my son would be at home is his usual surroundings making it more comfortable for him. Sleeping, eating, playing you know anything really with mummy gone (we've never been apart over night before i went in at night with my son and of course its a possibility)

Plan B is him going to my friends house but this was more of a daytime plan not really an overnight plan as such as she has a 6yr old and 9month old.

Right now im feeling a bit lost.... for me my son being in our home is the best option but looks unlikely atm.

I am VERY stressed out about this and more than anything else am scared about going into labor purely because of my son

So those who already have kids, but no family around like ourselves what is your plan when you go into labor for your LO's????



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Mar 19th, 2017, 17:26 PM   2
SonnyH
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 752
Hmm, that is a difficult one is there any chance you can reach out to your step mum and ask the question? That way, you'd know one way or another if that's an option. If not, I'd say you will have to rely on friends or a baby sitter? I can understand not wanting to have to take your son somewhere but unless you have a friend who can come to you, I guess you'll have too. Kids are resilient though, he'll probably love a sleep over with your/his friend, especially if he gets a few treats and made to feel special! And once baby arrives and you are all sorted, then your OH can be the one to look after your son if you have to have some recovery time in hospital!

It'll all be OK, just good to get a plan in place so you feel less stressed and worried about it I think



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Mar 19th, 2017, 18:38 PM   3
darcie
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,048
Could you have a homebirth?



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Mar 20th, 2017, 04:23 AM   4
wtbmummy
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Portsmouth, England
Posts: 1,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by darcie View Post
Could you have a homebirth?
Unfortunately not as Im high risk



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Mar 31st, 2017, 11:03 AM   5
DaniMoose
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Brit in SC
Posts: 554
Any friends or neighbours to help out?
we moved to the us from the uk, so we have pretty much nobody to help us out, but luckily our neighbours are awesome!



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Mar 31st, 2017, 11:22 AM   6
misspriss
Mum (Mom)
BnB Elite
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Arkansas, US
Posts: 10,155
I am kind of in the same boat and kind of not. I have family, but they are either not willing, not able, or I don't trust them to watch the kids for more than a few hours.

My dad is not able, he doesn't have the knowledge, experience, or want to learn.

I have two sisters who are mid twenties and over 30, but neither have ever been willing to babysit for even more than an hour, let alone overnight. The 23 year old says she doesn't think she is capable of watching children - she is 23! I was watching kids their age when I was 15. If she can't keep two toddlers alive for a night....the 30 year old just doesn't involve herself with kids, as far as I can tell.

My MIL and FIL would have been the obvious choice, they watched DS when DD was born, etc. However, MIL's health is in question. She refuses to babysit them for more than 4 hours, and then complains all day of the pain she is in from it, and requires at least a day to recover from one babysitting session. How the f*** is she supposed to watch both of them, overnight, multiple nights in a row?! (She thinks she will be the one watching them, she has just assumed) Also, we lived with the in-laws for a while, and I found out the truth about what a nasty, cruel, emotionally abusive b*tch my MIL is and I don't want her around my kids unsupervised if I can help it, let alone multiple nights.

So basically, I have family around, but they aren't much better. I'm still working on a plan. I am planning to have a deep heart to heart with my sisters. Either that or begin cultivating a relationship with a babysitter between now and then. Maybe you could talk to your step mom?



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Mar 31st, 2017, 13:52 PM   7
HPmum2B
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,638
So I am not in your position at all, I have lots of help around (although it is not without its problems).

However, when I was pregnant with my first, I worked with a lady in a simular situation. Her answer was to hire a doula, so she had someone to go through the birth with her, while her husband actually stayed to look after their eldest. i guess you could ask a close friend instead of a doula.

I wouldn't want to consider not having my husband at the birth, but if you are in a tricky situation, it could be the answer.

This baby is actually going to be transferred to a specialist unit for cardiac surgery after birth, and so although I have lots of help, my family wont look after my older two for the few weeks the baby is in hospital. So myself and my husband will be doing a massive juggling act throughout the whole thing. My husband will probably have to go back to work during this time too.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Apr 1st, 2017, 21:54 PM   8
jessmke
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,856
We are in this position, it's one of the reasons that I want a homebirth but I have not been able to sell my husband on the idea. He works in pediatric healthcare and sees some bad stuff, so he can't help but think about the what ifs. We are planning on have several friends on board to call to look after DD, and if we can't get ahold of anyone then we can use her daycare if it's during daytime hours. I'm hoping to labour at home for as long as possible, so if I go into labour at night hopefully I can stay at home until a decent hour when we can call a friend to either come over or drop DD off at someone's house. We have people who would be willing to keep her overnight, but she has never spent a night away from us so I don't know how that would go, so if it comes down to it I might ask my OH to go home to put her to bed and then have a friend stay at our house overnight with her so my OH can come back to the hospital.



 
Status: Offline
 

SEO by vBSEO