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Old May 15th, 2017, 14:13 PM   11
LoveCakes
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Originally Posted by stellababy View Post
If I was invited to a baby shower, I would assume kids are invited as well... It's a "child centered" event you are celebrating having a baby, so having kids there is what it's all about.

However, i would never my kids run around and break stuff at someone else's party! Maybe you could mention to the mom of the kids to keep an eye on them and make sure they don't damage anything as your mom put so much effort into the party?

In my opinion, not worth starting drama over. I agree with PP to have cheap art supplies to help keep kids busy.

Good luck and have a great shower!
Basically this. I don't see how you can invite a 7 year old without inviting her kids without insulting her however Valid it is.

plus 5 months is quite young to be left for some people.
I'd pick someone you trust to keep them busy and hope for the best.

Hope you have a nice time



 
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Old May 15th, 2017, 15:12 PM   12
DobbyForever
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Thanks ladies. I guess in my area showers are seen as celebrating the mom not necessarily the baby, so everyone sees them as kids only. I wouldn't mind as much if she just asked like my coworker did. Plus, yeah. He's that kid who runs around st restaurants grabbing people's silverware from other tables or throwing his water on them. And they just laugh and think it's cute... and I love him but I also know how much time and energy and money my mom put into this party (she's in over a grand at this point).

I like the dollar tree idea. We do have a spare room. My brother got nominated to do it by my mom because he doesn't actually want to be out and about lol. Idk. I'm probably stressing over nothing, but I'll definitely hit up the dollar tree. Plus he is an iPad baby so hopefully his parents just hand him a phone. He'll find YouTube and amuse himself.

Ty all for the input!!! I don't have time to hit thanks but I will at home



 
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Old May 16th, 2017, 03:20 AM   13
minties
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Um - her baby is 5 months old. I think you're really weird! I hope one day someone doesn't want your kids somewhere - how hurtful.

Her toddler is also only 2. Wow.



 
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Old May 16th, 2017, 06:16 AM   14
Zephram
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Originally Posted by minties View Post
Um - her baby is 5 months old. I think you're really weird! I hope one day someone doesn't want your kids somewhere - how hurtful.

Her toddler is also only 2. Wow.

Absolutely - it can be impossible to get out at all with a 5 month old and a two year old. That's life with kids. Two year olds can be little hellions even when watched like hawks by the best parents - that's why they call it the terrible twos.

Kids this age are supposed to be codependent, it's how they stay alive! As for the two year old throwing things and the 5 month old screaming when mum is out of sight - normal!! You'll find out.



 
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Old May 16th, 2017, 06:20 AM   15
Kiwiberry
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A baby shower celebrating a mother and the birth of her unborn child is not a place for children........ Hmmm..... I completely disagree I'm sorry.

It's your baby shower do what you want there's no way to politely uninvite her children. It's not very polite to even be considering it in the first place. So there's no way to sugarcoat it. You will probably come off as rude either way.

If that was me I definitely wouldn't want to be a part of a baby shower that didn't want my beautiful children there. They are my life and I'd sooner exclude anyone that tried to exclude my children.



 
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Old May 16th, 2017, 10:17 AM   16
DobbyForever
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Well long story short
In my town, you always ask if it's unclear about kids not assumed. But generally assumed no kids, especially under 5.

She banned kids from her first shower, and only allowed them for her second because as playmates for her son.

I don't actually like my cousin. We have a long, negative family history. I only invited her because my mom believes in family obligations and refuses to see fault in family even though this particular cousin once pushed me into oncoming traffic because she thought it would be funny to watch me get hit by a car.

But yeah I'm of the mind that she could have her bf stay home and watch them and come with her mom and dad. Or if she wants to cop an attitude then great don't come. But since I said yes to my friend's kids so hers can come. I'll just let my anxiety run for her convenience and lose out on the opportunity of being my mom's center of attention to make her life easier.

I went to one baby shower in third grade, and it was made very clear to us beforehand we dressed nicely and behaved appropriately because the host was doing my friend's mom a favor. But I was 8. Not 2. And was invited. Not self invited.



 
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Old May 16th, 2017, 12:21 PM   17
Weebles
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Dobby, I have never been to a shower that didn't have children attending. Five were at mine and all but my niece were not officially invited. No one asked if it was okay. But really, it was. They played the games, ate some food, and ran around being kids in another area. I'm not sure of your location but if there is another room that might be helpful if they get too wound up. Have a kids table if that's not an option but really even that's not necessary. I really think it will be okay. It's a shower, not a long and boring formal wedding ceremony. People will be talking, laughing, moving around.. Don't even worry yourself about it!

(ps.. I also think you'll have a change in heart once your own LO is here. I remember babies crying in public used to be like nails on a chalkboard to me but after living through it I truly truly have nothing but empathy for the babe and the parents both)



 
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Old May 16th, 2017, 13:25 PM   18
KatO79
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I agree with most that expecting your cousin to not take her kids with her, especially the 5 month old, isn't feasible. I also find it odd that a whole town has this rule of no kids under 5 at a shower, what town is this It's true though that once you have your own child, your perspective on e.g. crying children changes and what once irritated you now makes you feel sympathy/empathy.

I can see though that this cousin isn't a nice person and tried to kill you. Makes me wonder why you have anything to do with her? It's perfectly acceptable to not have anything to do with abusive people, that includes family. But you sound like you're doing it to please your mother which is a mistake. Your mother should respect your choice if you don't want to associate with this cousin other than being polite when meeting her at big family parties. I also wonder about your huge need to be at your mother's center of attention. It sounds weird and off to me, like some sort of unresolved issues.



 
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Old May 16th, 2017, 13:45 PM   19
JessyG
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I would assume children were automatically invited to a baby shower. Afterall, thats what its all about really.

A baby shower is about the mum not the baby, thats pretty strange and to ne honest sounds fairly pretentious.

2 year olds generally are wild. Now i obviously wouldnt let mine run around ruining things but loud noise etc just comes as standard i am afraid and at 5 months, my baby hadnt left my side and we basically came as a package.



 
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Old May 16th, 2017, 14:53 PM   20
DobbyForever
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I feel like I live in a weird town now lol.

There's a back room but he screams bloody murder when he can't see his mom. I also wonder how he'd do with toys. She doesn't buy him toys or read to him, so he only knows how to interact with a phone. But maybe that would work to my advantage? Like ooo new cool things. Idk.

Kids don't bug me. I teach k-6, I love kids. I just did not want young kids at my party. Even if I was having a sprinkle for a second, I would have SO watch our son and not have kids.

Re my cousin... she's even the best of my cousins. I love my mom. So I put up with my insane cousins because it makes her happy. If it was just about me, I'd have nothing to do with them. There was a long time I didn't have anything to do with them (college). Idk. My family is nuts. But they're family.

Definitely appreciate the advice though ladies!



 
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