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Old May 14th, 2017, 17:24 PM   1
DobbyForever
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How do I politely uninvite her self invited kids


My baby shower in in 6 days. My cousin had asked if her boyfriend could come, and I said yes because I invited male coworkers so the shower was coed. Then yesterday I confirmed they were both coming, and she said yes plus her 2 year old and her 5 month old. Now, I should have figured she wouldn't have a babysitter if both her parents and her bf come... but I'm just so used to etiquette that a- baby showers are not the place for children and b- she should have asked so I could say no. Her kids are codependent and cry and throw things and my mom will be all over them instead of paying attention to me. Plus, I have a $100 diaper cake and a $300 cake and $150 of decorations. My mom has spent a lot of money to make this party very classic for me.

But I don't know how to tell her I don't want her kids there without being a b*. My mom loves my uncle, and I have gotten into it with this cousin before and it really hurts my mom when I do. My mom told me to just let them come and my brother will babysit, and he was like I don't want to. Plus, her son SCREAMS when his mom is out of sight.



 
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Old May 15th, 2017, 00:55 AM   2
Mrs Dragonfly
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I've never been to a baby shower that didn't have kids... honestly if I were invited to a baby shower and my toddler and baby couldn't come, I wouldn't go.

But if it's going to cause that big a problem for you, then you better say something before the party.



 
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Old May 15th, 2017, 02:08 AM   3
crazylilth1ng
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You shouldn't even be in a position where its an issue to "uninvite" her kids! I'm sorry but when kids are invited to these events it is clearly stated upon invitation. This woman sounds like a rude, entitled piece of work, who does she think she is?

Just tell her. Say you were caught off guard when she first mentioned them coming, but kids are just not invited. If there is any fallout then it's on her not you.



 
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Old May 15th, 2017, 03:45 AM   4
vaniilla
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I agree with the previous poster, she took it upon herself to assume kids are invited without really asking. I would say that I'm sorry for any misunderstanding but it's an adults only party.



 
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Old May 15th, 2017, 08:51 AM   5
DobbyForever
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Ty. It got more complicated because right after I told her no kids, my ex coworker I absolutely adore asked if his super sweet daughter (7) could come. I threw his shower at work and she was there and so well behaved, and he lives super far so if I say no then he can't come. . So I told him yes. Which meant to avoid family drama I had to go back and tell my cousin her kids could come.

It's not so much kids (though I grew up in a traditional town so all showers were classy, women only, adults only) but HER kids lol. I'm just picturing her toddler, that she lets run around everywhere, knocking over my $300 cake.



 
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Old May 15th, 2017, 09:30 AM   6
Mrs Dragonfly
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Oh geez. Now I say my 2 year old is a wild child, but I do not let her run around like that. Your mom has spent a lot of money on this party, but I would run out to a dollar store and pick up some bubbles, coloring books and crayons and designate someone as damage control if her 2 year old starts running around without mom doing anything about it.



 
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Old May 15th, 2017, 13:08 PM   7
KatO79
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Maybe tell your cousin that she's responsible for any damages her toddler does? Don't get why your brother should babysit, they're your cousin's kids and therefore her responsibility when she decides to take them out! I'd also remove any belongings you don't want damaged and everything else placed as far away as possible out of the toddler's reach.

Don't be afraid to set boundaries, even with your family! Boundaries are healthy and anyone that doesn't respect them is showing you where they're respect for you ends.



 
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Old May 15th, 2017, 13:25 PM   8
Parkep
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I would set up a little area for him with dollar store stuff. Like the PP said, bubbles, coloring, portable dvd player /tablet with kids netflix,balloons ,snacks etc. If you know any preteens what about paying them a little bit of pocket money to keep him entertained?



 
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Old May 15th, 2017, 13:47 PM   9
stellababy
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If I was invited to a baby shower, I would assume kids are invited as well... It's a "child centered" event you are celebrating having a baby, so having kids there is what it's all about.

However, i would never my kids run around and break stuff at someone else's party! Maybe you could mention to the mom of the kids to keep an eye on them and make sure they don't damage anything as your mom put so much effort into the party?

In my opinion, not worth starting drama over. I agree with PP to have cheap art supplies to help keep kids busy.

Good luck and have a great shower!



 
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Old May 15th, 2017, 13:58 PM   10
StillPraying
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yeesh sorry dobs I despise parents who let their children act like that. I understand they're little, but when parents don't bother to do anything it's beyond irritating.
Ive always assumed baby showers were kid friendly unless they specify on the invitations no kids....I've only ever been to one that kids weren't invited to. So I understand where she assumed it would be okay, but I don't blame you for dreading their arrival lol I think the others gave great ideas on having some kind of simple entertainment for kids. Movies are definitely a win!



 
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