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Old Aug 5th, 2017, 12:22 PM   1
LadyLovenox
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So afraid I could never love baby #2 as much as baby #1


Hi ladies. I'm just shy of 27 weeks, but as the time gets closer, I'm just so nervous for the big delivery day. I just cannot imagine loving another baby like I love my DS. My whole world revolves around him and he is just perfect in my eyes. I have such a close relationship with him (dh travels for work, so much of the time, it's just the two of us). I'm also afraid that DS will feel left out when the baby gets here. (Hes not even 2) Thinking of him feeling less loved in any way literally brings me to tears. Everyone tells me I'm giving him a sibling which is the best gift of all, but right now I'm just so worried about his little heart and feelings and I dont want him to ever think mama is replacing him, etc. My dh is an only child so my MIL tells me all the time, that's why she never had another baby. She would never do that to her son (my dh). I'm hoping I don't feel like having a second baby was a mistake once hes here. My son is only one and a half so I cant even explain to him whats going on to prepare him or reason with him at all. Any advice?



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Old Aug 5th, 2017, 12:54 PM   2
ttc126
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Oh my. I remember feeling this way. My #2 came 16 months after #1. Now that they're almost 4 and almost 3 they're the best of friends! For our family it has been a gift for them to have each other. I'm almost 27 weeks with #3 and I still get nervous.
But here's the big secret....we mom's worry way way more about this than we need to. Our kids are resilient and way more accepting of change than we give credit for. Your son will likely never remember a time without baby. You're giving him a lifelong friend. It's not right for every family to have more than one and that's ok too but please have every confidence your son will be just fine.



 
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Old Aug 5th, 2017, 13:58 PM   3
Babybump87
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Can totally relate even put me off having baby number 2 the thought made my so anxious and I just would cry about it . I just took the plunge she's here and I absolutely adore her and couldn't love her any less !!

All your fears will flutter away once baby is home . It may be rough at first but just involve him as much as possible . DD1 was just shy of her third birthday when DD2 was born she was brilliant with her from the get go although a tad wary and scared to touch her

Now they love each other immensely and are so close ! Even if their fights drive me crazy already. Lol

Your not taking anything away your enriching his life with someone who will always have his back and be his best friend . Your giving him a fiend for life .

I think its unfair of your MIL to say those things . That's her situation and how she felt.

Totally agree with everything the above poster has said too !!



 
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Old Aug 5th, 2017, 14:42 PM   4
Stellae
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I sobbed at the foot of my son's bed before we drove to the hospital for my second, wondering how i could ever love another kid as much as I love him. Your heart just grows to accommodate the space!

It's like being in a room with one puppy... then suddenly there are MORE PUPPIES :-D!



 
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Old Aug 6th, 2017, 06:03 AM   5
misspriss
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I remember feeling this was before DD was born. It isn't like that in reality, your capacity to love grows, it doesn't take from those you already love.

And you have no idea the amazing things you will see between your kids, the pure love there, just fills your heart even more. Two nights ago my son got a "treat" for finishing dinner, daughter did not finish (a banana, so glad fruit is still a "treat"!). DD was of course sad, but we stick to our word - DS broke his banana and gave part of it to DD. He is obsessed with "whole bananas", just for him to spontainiously share HIS treat because she was sad? Oh it melted my heart. Melted.



 
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Old Aug 8th, 2017, 16:45 PM   6
LadyLovenox
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Thank you ladies so much!! It helps to hear that I'm not alone in my worries and that it worked or well for all of you!!



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Old Aug 9th, 2017, 07:43 AM   7
xdxxtx
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Haha. I love the "more puppies" quote up there. I didn't worry about this one... probably because in my mom's second-born and the favorite... But all of my friends worried quite a bit. I always tell people their capacity to love grows with every baby. You feel that your heart is full with the child you have, but when you have another, your heart doubles in size to create more room to love that child just as much. And it's absolutely true. My heart is so big and so full, I never could have imagined the feeling before having kids.



 
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Old Aug 9th, 2017, 20:07 PM   8
gingmg
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I worry about this too. I just can't wrap my head around loving anyone as much as I love my son!!! But, I have trust and faith in all the moms who have felt this way and have assured me that my heart will only grow bigger. I have no doubt it's going to be really hard at first and I think my son is going to really struggle sharing the attention, but in time I know it will somehow work itself out.



 
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Old Aug 10th, 2017, 11:30 AM   9
vaniilla
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As the other ladies have said it's completely normal, we tried for our second for 4 years and yet I cried a lot of times out of guilt for my first when I finally fell pregnant, once baby is here you'll see you had nothing to worry about.



 
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Old Aug 10th, 2017, 12:05 PM   10
luz
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I think this is a normal fear, but don't worry! The first thing I remember saying when my second baby was born and placed on my stomach was "oh I love you so much!" As others have said, your heart grows and there's just more to love.



 
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