Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Aug 31st, 2017, 22:38 PM   1
Dream.dream
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,374

Frustrated favoritism


So my sister and me are both pregnant . About 10 weeks apart.

Its my 3rd baby and her first. Im super happy for her and excited to be n aunt

But at the same time im upset with how differently people are treating us especially my mom .

My 1st 2 werent planned. But this pregnancy was . My moms reaction when we told her was how did that happen . My sister got congratulations and my mom cried. My sister found out shes having a girl and my mom was so excited she jumped up and down. Niether of my boys got that kind of reaction from her. Every time we have a family get together shes trying to feel my sisters baby kick and shes done it once for me and only becaUse i asked.

The list goes on . Basically i feel like this baby isny even here yet and it and my other kids are already less important. We dont know the sex of our baby and im worried if its a boy it will be even less important because it will be just another boy to her. And it really hurts. This is put last pregnancy and i feel like ill never get the chance to experience what my sister got.

I know its stupid and me and my husband are happy and love this baby . But im just so sad its being rubbed in my face basically that my baby is less exciting



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 1st, 2017, 19:35 PM   2
xdxxtx
Other
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 9,580
I know just how you feel. My OH goes through it with my father-in-law (my momma-in-law passed away shortly before our first baby was born)... He is obsessed with his other two kids. Couldn't care less about OH or about our children. It's so frustrating for me to watch OH's heart get broken by it all the time. We haven't even seen OH's father in 2 1/2 years. It does break my heart, too, but I try not to show it because I feel like I don't have the right to. My mom is obsessed with my children and love them more than anything...

I know it sucks. I know your heart must be breaking just like my OH's is. I'm so sorry this has been your experience. I always tell OH that our family is perfect without that, but OH just wants to be able to go to someone and fuss about our kids and have them be just as excited and in love with our kids. Is that how you feel????? How are your in-laws???? Do you have someone who fusses over them the way you do??? A Godparent or two??? I live in America, or I'd offer to fuss over your babies with you. haha.

It probably doesn't help that it's your third... My third pregnancy announcement was really not exciting. Nobody cared. I had two sons already, and it was only the fact that my third is a GIRL that people all the sudden started getting excited at all. I know how that is. It was very upsetting... It was actually MORE upsetting that nobody cared until they found out we were having a girl... ugh... You don't need that negativity. I am SO HAPPY for you. Having three kids is AMAZING, and I hope your kids are SUPER EXCITED to be big siblings and that they just LOVE that baby!



 
Status: Online
 
Old Sep 1st, 2017, 23:40 PM   3
Dream.dream
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,374
Thank you . I dont have in laws. My husbads family hasnt been in our lives for 2 years.

You nailed it . I love them of course but there is something different about having a grandparent love them and i feel like eventually kids notice things and i dont want to see thier feelings hurt.

I will love this baby no matter whatit is and i feel like ita a no win situation. If its a girl and they get exicted then i feel bad for my boys. If its another boy it will be old news .

My Sister is having baby tonight . Thank you for listening and understanding. My heart was breaking and i needed to let it out



 
Status: Offline
 

SEO by vBSEO