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Old Sep 25th, 2017, 01:17 AM   1
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No congratulations or acknowledgement of pregnancy

Ok, I haven't seen my sister for a couple of months as I've been so sick with this pregnancy, morning sickness. I'm now 30 weeks pregnant.
She has a female partner. Like I said haven't seen in ages. So yesterday we were invited around to give her a present on her birthday. I have not seen sister or her female partner since the news I was pregnant was announced at 23 weeks, and even a lot before that. I had complications previously so did not want to announce it too early.

I did not get one congratulations or acknowledgement that I was pregnant. I even had to lie down as I was faint. Still no mention. My partner mentioned how we had found something when sorting out baby clothes and the subject was changed. Then I mentioned briefly an incident with some food that made me feel sick at work. Again no how are you getting on, when is it due, everything ok, any names yet. Just a quick change of the subject by the partner. It was so obvious.

I didn't want it to be about me or baby at all. But we had spent an hour there talking with them about their holiday, garden, jobs. Then after that period of time without a mention it really upset me. That's why I think my partner bought up about sorting baby clothes.

Partner noticed too and cannot understand, so it's not me being sensitive. Just one , " how are you doing?" Would have been nice.

Why would they do this?

Any suggestions?

Shall I right them off if they cause me this stress?

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Old Sep 25th, 2017, 02:03 AM   2
Mum (Mom)
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I wouldn't stress it to be honest. Some people just have zero interest in pregnancy or children. But I get how you are feeling - just some concern for you feeling faint or an acknowledgement that you'd been sorting though clothes would have been nice. Try to stay positive. Don't let the ignorance of others make you feel down about your pregnancy. That's not your concern. All you need to worry about is bringing a healthy baby into the world.

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Old Sep 25th, 2017, 02:22 AM   3
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I agree I would just let it go and try to just be excited for baby coming and let them come around when they're ready. My MIL has yet to acknowledge or congratulate me on my pregnancy! We are estranged from her due to her own behavioural issues but I took care to tell her as I didn't want her to hear from anyone else first (she did congratulate my husband when she spoke to him several weeks later but has yet to acknowledge it to me). Anyway everyone has their issues and you can't let it affect your happiness. Is there any chance they are trying to conceive themselves (which can be especially complicated and expensive when you need to do IUI/IVF with donor sperm of course)? I know when I had my mc it was really hard to be happy when everyone else around me was announcing their pregnancy, though I tried my best.

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Old Sep 25th, 2017, 07:29 AM   4
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It sounds to me like maybe they are going through there own issues regarding Babies. I struggled for a long time to become pregnant and I was always happy for other people but it could make me very sad for myself when people are pregnant. Your Sis has only known about your expected bundle of happiness for 7 weeks and i know for a lot of people thats loads of time to deal with there feelings the fact this is the first time she is actually seen you it makes it all real for her and her partner. I could be completely wrong obviously but I try to think of the saying 'we are all facing a battle no one knows about' so please dont let this upset you. You should be happy and excited for your baby, maybe just take the lead from your sister on this and dont talk to her about baby much (obviously I dont mean avoid the topic its a huge thing in your life! But if you say something and they change the subject just go with that.) I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly XX

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Old Sep 25th, 2017, 09:02 AM   5
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I would be thinking along the same lines as PP, maybe they are trying themselves and with the cost and everything surrounding ivf they may not be up for it. Not that that excuses how they acted, my partners Dad and step mother were the same, they didn't congratulate or acknowledge our pregnancy, it was the same when we got engaged a few years ago, didn't once congratulate or ask about it! Some people are only interested in themselves unfortunately. Don't let it upset you, and fingers crossed the rest of your pregnancy runs smoothly ☺️

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Old Sep 25th, 2017, 20:19 PM   6
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Definitely agree with previous posters to just let it go and focus on other things. No point letting it put a damper on your excitement if it's something that's out of your control.
I can appreciate the disappointment that your own sister is not showing much excitement in your child (ie: her niece or nephew), as my sister was similar (& she wasn't trying for babies of her own or anything). My sister didn't even bring a gift to my baby shower haha. But once bubs was born, she started to show more interest, and has spoiled him on several occasions since. So hopefully your sister will be the same, and will show some more interest once they're born. As it could just feel a little 'un-real" to her right now, but when she see's them in the flesh, that may change how she feels potentially.

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Old Sep 26th, 2017, 04:26 AM   7
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We had something similar to this, absolutely no acknowledgment or mentioning of baby through the whole pregnancy from DH's sister and her husband, and when we brought baby round his parents for the first time his sister was in and out of the room with not a look or word in our direction, until DH's father walked in, then she came rushing over, holding baby, being aunty of the year?? We both (sil and I) already previously had children, her family was complete years before. It turned out they had been bad mouthing us for months in order to create a family rift, which succeeded, keep an eye on how things progress.

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Old Sep 26th, 2017, 11:59 AM   8
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I'm sorry. That's so frustrating. My best friend was the same way, and it actually got me so upset that we are no longer as close. It's sad, but I figure if she can't be happy for me or show ANY interest over this then how close are we really? FAmily is different though. I find most people in my family and DH's just don't ask. It used to upset me, but when my SIL was pregnant I realized a lot of time had passed before I checked in on her. People have lives, and their own focuses are more important. It's normal, and hard not to take personal but that's usually all it is. Also, as mentioned - maybe they are having their own issues with this? I would totally say something for my own sake, but in a calm way. Just to let them know it upset me.

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Old Sep 30th, 2017, 15:41 PM   9
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As many others have said she might be having trouble conciving herself. I recently lost a baby and I'm in a few groups for misscarrige and alot of women say it's hard to be happy for family members of friends while they are struggling so much.

I know it must hurt feeling like a big part of your life was over looking by your sister but they might be fighting there own demons xx

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Old Oct 1st, 2017, 08:22 AM   10
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I find i go to friends more for support and baby talj. Ny family do my head in with their opinins. They don't show excitement. Barely ask how i am and moan about anything i buy like im going over the top. They very much want me to do thin gs how they did and i soon learnt they would put a downer on everything.

Stuff them if u feel they dont care about u or how u are then just focus on the people that do. Its a big deal for you and a ten minute chat about your big life change coming up isnt alot to ask. Family aye x

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