Forum Rules

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Oct 9th, 2017, 06:52 AM   1
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,634

Do you feel overwhelmed?

Hi everyone. I am 29 weeks pregnant now and feeling a bit like we arnt getting a good balance at the miment. My partner works long hours mon-fri but he has to commute an hour and half to his office. This often means hes out 6.30am till 7.30pm. He gets emails to his work phone 24/7. He works around the country occasionally and meetings are ,3 hours away. Hes a sensitive man and has had depression in the past. Hes really good to us and i cant fault him sround the house. He will wash up and hoover while i sort our toddler out.

Im just feeling that his job is not allowing him anytime with us anymore. They wont take on more staff because theres a lad in the office who wants all the overtime yet hes a chrones sufferer and has been off sick in total 2 months this year. My partner basically drowns when hes off and he ends up exhausted. Hes currently on his 3rd headache in 2 weeks. He talks about work throughout the weekends and on the rare occasion we see his family i notice he wants to complain about work to them too. Obviously its his right to talk about it and he needs too but im worried that hes not able to fit in our little family.

I feel guilty that the weekends have been all about decorating and getting our toddler moved into a new room and into a bed. Weve hardly been out this year since april as i had 3 months of feeling rubbish and then we have been doing home improvements. His mum and dad never help us out or offer to have their grandaughter. they are absolutely wrapped up in his sister and her daughters life and she gets everything done. they came over saturday for the first time in weeks and never mentioned my pregnancy or the baby. They seem virtually uninterested. My mums recently had an op on her knee and her and my dad never offer help even when they are fit. When i do ask them to have my daughter its usually so we can do a job like furniture building.

I dunno i just feel like we might aswel live sperate lives. Theres no time to get excited about the baby. I feel stressed out that although family have said theyl have my daughter when labour happens none of them will respond to sleeping solutions. Ive asked my mum and she said she can't get her head around it right now. Ideally it would be great if theyd stay at ours but i can't see it being what they would want.

To top it off I've got appointments now every 2 weeks and getting into town and hoping oh can take me if he works from home that day makes me feel guilty. I am so uncomfortable when i walk. Ive got heavy legs. I get weak and its not ideal feelinf like that when u have a toddler to take. I just feel like a nuisance.

I just feel down because my partner is always tired and stressed. My Toddler is clingy and not always a great sleeper at the mo and selfishly i wish someone would send me to bed for a few hours.

Please tell me im not alone

Status: Offline
Old Oct 9th, 2017, 09:15 AM   2
BnB Addict
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 9,658
I went through this with my last pregnancy as well... I stay at home and homeschool my children, so I was pregnant and also had kids aged 5, 3, 2, and a baby in the house all the time already. I am also the caretaker for my father who has dementia and has a 3-year-old's brain in a 68-year-old's body. My partner works 12+ hour days and also has an hour and a half long commute... So OH was always stressed and never home. I was so overwhelmed and stressed all of the time. The problem was mainly my father, not the kids - as I signed up for that, but it was just way too much.

When I was almost due, due, overdue, I just kept thinking that I'd never go into labor because my stress level was so high. It was true - my body was keeping me from going into labor... I was having panic attacks and feeling terrible, and my OH felt helpless and was depressed and stressed, and our whole household was just a mess. One day, I had someone watch my father, and my OH went for a walk along the beach and laughed together and had a great time, and all of my worries melted away for a few hours... I started labor the very next morning after I was able to calm down... So if you get to the point where you're overdue and your body just won't let go, I'd highly suggest just having an extremely relaxing day to help your body see that it's safe to let that baby out.

Until then, I don't have any suggestions on how to get through it. Lots of love and using your OH's love language to make him feel loved and appreciated might help... But no, you're not alone. I went through it. I'm so thankful that my baby is born and my emotions calmed down and I'm all better now - and so is OH. I hope things get better for you, too, very quickly.

Status: Offline