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Old Oct 18th, 2017, 15:16 PM   1
jade1991
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Starting to feel sad for my daughter, hormones probably but please read!


Has anyone experienced this feeling, I mean I'm sure we all have. My second baby is due in under 5 weeks and I'm starting to feel like crying every time I look at my daughter. I'll never be all hers again

I know it sounds cliché but I've got that feeling that how will I ever love another child like I love her. Will I feel guilty all the time. Am I ready for 2 children, what if she starts hating me because the baby is taking up my attention. My daughter is still my baby, We've been on our own since she was 18 months (up until we moved in with OH 3 months ago) so it's always just been me and her 😢

I know I'm just being silly and I'm sure it'll all work out but can anyone relate and tell me it's all going to be fine?!



 
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Old Oct 18th, 2017, 17:02 PM   2
KatBar
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I think this is pretty normal (from what I'm told/hear).
I definitely have the feelings of how could I love another baby as much as I love my son. But everyone who has said they felt this, says it goes away the moment your second is born, and you realise you can love them both equally/just as much.

I haven't felt guilty over the exact same things, but I've definitely felt guilt over things.. For instance, we plan to keep him in daycare 2 days a week for the first few months, and then 1 day per week after that. Some days my guilt is over sending him to daycare when a new baby comes home, and other days I feel guilty about reducing his daycare days (his in an awesome daycare and loves it there - made lots of friends, and it's helped his development so much). I feel like these guilty moments must be pretty normal..



 
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Old Oct 18th, 2017, 23:50 PM   3
jessmke
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My kids are 19 months apart and I felt like you did near the end of my last pregnancy. I have absolutely zero guild now because my son is the greatest gift I could have given to my daughter. The first thing she asks for when she wakes up in the morning is "baby", she holds her arms out wanting to hold him when she sees him. The first thing she does when she gets out of her room is collect his toys and put them on the floor in the living room and then she directs me on where to put him down so he can play with his toys. When he drools or has a runny nose she gets a tissue and wipes his face. When he cries she runs to him and hugs and kisses him. When it's time to change his diaper she waits excitedly so she can take his dirty diaper to the diaper pail. When his sock falls off she tries desperately to put it back on for him. If she hears him drop a toy she immediately stops what she is doing so she can retrieve the toy for him. When we go to play groups she sits by him and guards him from the other kids, telling them "gentle" whenever they come near him. I have given her something that she loves more than anything else in the world and I am so thankful they have each other. I can't wait for my son to get older so they can more fully interact and play with each other.



 
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Old Oct 19th, 2017, 00:57 AM   4
LittleLala
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I feel exactly the same as you, I feel so guilty that soon I won't be able to give him all of my attention and that he will get sad.



 
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Old Oct 19th, 2017, 05:25 AM   5
jade1991
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Thank you for the replies. It's a strange feeling isn't it. And jessmke that sounds adorable ❤❤ I'm so glad your 2 are so close it's lovely.

I think it's because my daughter is older, and she's so used to it just being us. Don't get me wrong she's so excited for the baby, she kisses my belly about a million times a day! But reality is that she's gunna be sharing me soon forever. It makes me sad 😢



 
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Old Oct 19th, 2017, 12:22 PM   6
KellyW1982
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It’s completely normal. When I was pregnant with my second son I had so many of the same emotions you mention, when he was born I cried loads in the 1st week worrying about how my 1st son was feeling even though he was so happy to have a brother. Don’t worry about it- it’s only you that this will be bothering, your daughter will be fine xx



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Old Oct 23rd, 2017, 18:25 PM   7
Talia12
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I'm exactly the same. A few weeks ago I was lying next to my son in his bed the way I always put him to sleep and I suddenly had this vision of him lying there remembering when I was only his mummy and feeling sad and I just burst into tears, I cried next to him while he was asleep for about twenty minutes. So I fully understand how you're feeling but every time I feel sad about that I just think about two things which is that one it would be sadder for him to grow up without a sibling in my opinion, and two, I know that I and everyone else in the family will make such an effort to prevent him from feeling pushed out once the baby comes that he will be ok.



 
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Old Oct 24th, 2017, 22:56 PM   8
Reiko_ctu
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I don't remember feeling that way while still pregnant, but once we had DD2, I was really sad for a couple of weeks. I felt like a really bad mommy who was just feeding the baby all the time and the toddler wasn't getting any attention. I wished for the days when it was just me and her. But once the hormones levelled out, I couldn't imagine life without 2. dD1 was always loving towards DD2 and loves having a sister. It is the best thing to give them a sibling. It will be hard for a few more months but soon your family will just have a new normal xx



 
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Old Oct 25th, 2017, 18:42 PM   9
BrendaJ
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Jade, I feel the same way. I’ve only ever had my son, he’s 5 soon to be 6 in a couple of weeks, and I’ve felt sad and guilty over him not being my only when baby arrives. I’ve given him my everything and now he’ll have to share, and so will I. I’ll have to share my love... but I’m sure he’ll be ok. He loves his baby sister already and constantly asks about her, he hugs my belly, and he kisses her too. I know he’s lonely which is why we decided to give him a sibling. Everyone says that as soon as baby comes into this world, I will love them both equally. I love her already, and I am so happy she’s coming, but I do still feel sad for some reason!



 
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Old Oct 26th, 2017, 16:44 PM   10
Kelskiii
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Totally normal! I've been feeling the same, I never leave my daughter unless I have to work or she is at school nursery (R only started mornings in September)

I have been trying to have a few hours to myself now and again leading up to my due date and letting my husband / family members have some time with R ...... it's hard but I know it won't be fair on R to keep her in with me & baby all the time when instead she could be out having fun with grandparents. I do really need to let go a little especially when she is nearly 4 x



 
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