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Old Oct 26th, 2017, 21:27 PM   11
KatBar
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Yep, definitely a good shock to the system having your first baby!
I actually did have people tell me how hard it would be, but to be honest, until you experience it yourself, you just don’t fully understand.
My son was a nightmare in the first 2 weeks.. he would literally not sleep from around midnight through to 5am (sometimes 6am). My husband and I weren’t smart about it either.. we’d both get up and try and “figure things out”, rather than have one of us sleep/rest, and then take over after a few hours and let the other sleep/rest. We won’t be making that mistake a second time I can tell you haha.

I have to say though, I try not to over-share with first time mum’s to be.. Some mum’s to-be don’t want to hear it, and feel like you’re being a Debbie downer. And of course, some people also have a good experience too, and don’t experience the horrible stuff you warn them about - lucky ducks hahaha.

Definitely all gets better with time tho (gosh I remember hearing that a lot in the first few months, but it really is true lol). I am not looking forward to doing it again with the added bonus of a toddler on top, but I just keep telling myself “it’s only 6 months of craziness, then another 6 months of semi-craziness before it should start calming down and things will be looking up again” (ie: sleep quality will be improving and sanity will be on the up hahaha).



 
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Old Oct 26th, 2017, 22:26 PM   12
MEPride
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No matter how prepared you think you are, the reality is such a shock!

With my DD I was completely unprepared for when she had bad gas on the second night and wouldn't settle. Thank goodness for a very patient and attentive midwife who helped me out!

Then on the fifth night (still in hospital after a C-section) I was totally caught off guard by her first session of cluster feeding from around midnight to 4am. I'd thought I'd read up on everything but somehow I'd missed cluster feeding, and I was at my wits end with her. My DH was with me but I was trying to let him sleep as much as possible because he was going to be driving us home the next morning. Thankfully a midwife came along to check on us and explained what was happening so at least I knew she wasn't sick or anything.
Wow, you and I had it reversed. My DD was clusterfeeding the first night and it went almost non-stop until the end of the next day when my milk came in. It was a week later when I discovered tacos did NOT agree with her system. Poor baby was screaming!



 
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Old Oct 26th, 2017, 22:35 PM   13
MEPride
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Yep, definitely a good shock to the system having your first baby!
I actually did have people tell me how hard it would be, but to be honest, until you experience it yourself, you just donít fully understand.
My son was a nightmare in the first 2 weeks.. he would literally not sleep from around midnight through to 5am (sometimes 6am). My husband and I werenít smart about it either.. weíd both get up and try and ďfigure things outĒ, rather than have one of us sleep/rest, and then take over after a few hours and let the other sleep/rest. We wonít be making that mistake a second time I can tell you haha.

I have to say though, I try not to over-share with first time mumís to be.. Some mumís to-be donít want to hear it, and feel like youíre being a Debbie downer. And of course, some people also have a good experience too, and donít experience the horrible stuff you warn them about - lucky ducks hahaha.

Definitely all gets better with time tho (gosh I remember hearing that a lot in the first few months, but it really is true lol). I am not looking forward to doing it again with the added bonus of a toddler on top, but I just keep telling myself ďitís only 6 months of craziness, then another 6 months of semi-craziness before it should start calming down and things will be looking up againĒ (ie: sleep quality will be improving and sanity will be on the up hahaha).
I totally get it. Some people don't want to hear it. And others have perfect and happy babies. They are so lucky! But the information out there is lacking. I do SO much research... and I don't recall these kinds of details. Just that it will be tough; there's sleep deprivation and hormone fluctuations.... yikes. That's just code for: the witching hour can last 4-5 hours (in my DD case) where you have to constantly change tactics just to survive or suffer the wrath of a completely inconsolable baby... all the while crying with your boobs hanging out of your shirt because clusterfeeding is REAL and the only thing that can calm your baby.... that is until the novelty of it wears off and baby becomes fussy at the breast and claws at it.

But then the next morning you have a perfect gen who gives amazing cuddles and stares at you with such love and adoration. It melts your heart to hear their little coos and they make you laugh when they stretch after a really good meal.



 
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Old Oct 26th, 2017, 22:44 PM   14
jessmke
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[QUOTE=MEPride;38666435]
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatBar View Post
... all the while crying with your boobs hanging out of your shirt because clusterfeeding is REAL and the only thing that can calm your baby.... that is until the novelty of it wears off and baby becomes fussy at the breast and claws at it.
When my son was about a week old I answered the door for the Fedex guy with my boob hanging out of my shirt, and I didn't even realize it until 5 min after the guy left and my toddler pointed to my boob and said "milk!". Oops! Poor guy must have felt so awkward and I was totally oblivious!



 
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Old Oct 26th, 2017, 23:36 PM   15
Palladium
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MEPride View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Palladium View Post
No matter how prepared you think you are, the reality is such a shock!

With my DD I was completely unprepared for when she had bad gas on the second night and wouldn't settle. Thank goodness for a very patient and attentive midwife who helped me out!

Then on the fifth night (still in hospital after a C-section) I was totally caught off guard by her first session of cluster feeding from around midnight to 4am. I'd thought I'd read up on everything but somehow I'd missed cluster feeding, and I was at my wits end with her. My DH was with me but I was trying to let him sleep as much as possible because he was going to be driving us home the next morning. Thankfully a midwife came along to check on us and explained what was happening so at least I knew she wasn't sick or anything.
Wow, you and I had it reversed. My DD was clusterfeeding the first night and it went almost non-stop until the end of the next day when my milk came in. It was a week later when I discovered tacos did NOT agree with her system. Poor baby was screaming!
The midwife told me it was unusual for it to take so long, that normally it happened around the second night, but it might have been because for the first few days we were giving her formula top ups to stabilise her blood sugar. My milk came in around day 3 so we were able to stop giving the formula after that, and she'd taken to breastfeeding so well that I think she just needed to get the supply going.



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Old Oct 27th, 2017, 01:15 AM   16
KatBar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MEPride View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatBar View Post
Yep, definitely a good shock to the system having your first baby!
I actually did have people tell me how hard it would be, but to be honest, until you experience it yourself, you just donít fully understand.
My son was a nightmare in the first 2 weeks.. he would literally not sleep from around midnight through to 5am (sometimes 6am). My husband and I werenít smart about it either.. weíd both get up and try and ďfigure things outĒ, rather than have one of us sleep/rest, and then take over after a few hours and let the other sleep/rest. We wonít be making that mistake a second time I can tell you haha.

I have to say though, I try not to over-share with first time mumís to be.. Some mumís to-be donít want to hear it, and feel like youíre being a Debbie downer. And of course, some people also have a good experience too, and donít experience the horrible stuff you warn them about - lucky ducks hahaha.

Definitely all gets better with time tho (gosh I remember hearing that a lot in the first few months, but it really is true lol). I am not looking forward to doing it again with the added bonus of a toddler on top, but I just keep telling myself ďitís only 6 months of craziness, then another 6 months of semi-craziness before it should start calming down and things will be looking up againĒ (ie: sleep quality will be improving and sanity will be on the up hahaha).
I totally get it. Some people don't want to hear it. And others have perfect and happy babies. They are so lucky! But the information out there is lacking. I do SO much research... and I don't recall these kinds of details. Just that it will be tough; there's sleep deprivation and hormone fluctuations.... yikes. That's just code for: the witching hour can last 4-5 hours (in my DD case) where you have to constantly change tactics just to survive or suffer the wrath of a completely inconsolable baby... all the while crying with your boobs hanging out of your shirt because clusterfeeding is REAL and the only thing that can calm your baby.... that is until the novelty of it wears off and baby becomes fussy at the breast and claws at it.

But then the next morning you have a perfect gen who gives amazing cuddles and stares at you with such love and adoration. It melts your heart to hear their little coos and they make you laugh when they stretch after a really good meal.
Yeah, very true! We were told the 12am -5/6am nightmare was just cluster feeding (more like hedious torture lol).
We had the witching hour stuff as well - although certainly sounds like you've got a bad case with it lasting 4-5 hours.
I remember one night when our son was 2 months old, he'd start screaming everytime we tried putting him down. We called the midwife hotline because we just didn't know what to do, or if it was "normal". She thought it might be an ear infection, so told us to go into our local emergency department (it was already around 8-9pm). This then entailed 5-6 hours stuck in the hospital, our son getting his heel pricked for a blood test, and us not leaving the hospital till about 2am. And the end result.... nothing wrong with him .
It really is a tough gig, and def agree that theres no great guides or info out there to prepare you for these types of thing.



 
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Old Oct 27th, 2017, 05:30 AM   17
MrsC10
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I wasn't a fan of the newborn phase at all. Doing it all again soon with a toddler who will be 2.5 when this LO comes along.
I think I lived on coffee and cereal bars for the first 12 weeks and ate my dinner with one hand (OH chopped up my food for me ) so I could give my clingy baby the cuddles she wanted.
It doesn't last forever....but it feels like it will at the time!



 
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Old Oct 27th, 2017, 07:45 AM   18
Koifish
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I am hoping this baby is like my boys were and end up being easy but I am not holding my breath. I didnít have the experience most of you did other then waking every 3 hours for the first 3-4 months and I pumped so that hubby and I could shift. Now I am terrified and want to cry in the corner at the thought of two 2.5 year old toddlers and a newborn. I donít think Iíll ever function if this baby is difficult. They really donít tell you any of this!!



 
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Old Oct 27th, 2017, 08:58 AM   19
Scout
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Oh, I hated the newborn phase. To this day, when I hear a newborn cry my skin crawls. It doesn't help when someone who hasn't had a newborn in decades keeps telling you that the newborn stage is the best bc all baby does is sleep! (my aunt!) My baby never slept, she didn't latch and her bilirubin was so high I had to top her off with formula and keep her in a light box 24/7 the first week home. I was also single so no one in the house to help me with anything. I don't know how women do it when they have a toddler to look after too. Thankfully, it does get better!



 
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Old Oct 27th, 2017, 19:38 PM   20
Zephram
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Yep, having a newborn baby is a shit show that you cannot mentally or emotionally prepare for.

I was constantly overwhelmed as a FTM. Doesnít matter how well you think you have prepared, you just do not have a clue what it feels like until youíre dropped right in it.

As for it not being known to FTMs how hard it really is, I donít think itís that itís not talked about, itís that you just cannot prepare for it as you have no prior experience to draw on and nothing to compare it to that youíve been through before. You could tell a pregnant FTM all about it until youíre blue in the face, but until you actually experience it, itís just academic, you donít know how itís going to affect you. It truly is a new life phase that you have to adjust to as it comes.

In my experience most first time mums are focused on how labour is going to go when theyíre pregnant and less about what itíll actually be like looking after a baby. It seems like labour is the big hurdle, when actually, no, raising the baby is actually the big hurdle. Personally I think antenatal classes are a waste of time as they also focus mostly on labour and very little on the way a newborn behaves - at least it my experience!

Also, it reeks of condescension to tell a pregnant FTM that they havenít got a clue whatís coming, no matter how much theyíve babysat or how many books theyíve read. You can judge by the number of articles out there by pregnant FTMs saying Ďstop telling me how hard it isí. Donít know about you, but I have read so many of these.



 
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