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Old Oct 30th, 2017, 15:16 PM   31
swedengirl
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Sorry about my short thanks earlier just wanted to say something but didnít have the time!

I really appreciate all your advice! Iím nervous and excited to meet my little one. Think itís great to have realistic expectations of how the first few weeks/months will be so thanks to OP for starting this and all of you for replying to my pleas for advice! It is funny how many conflicting stories you hear though- some have said to me the newborn stage is the easiest!

Think I need to mentally prepare myself to be more accepting of help and not putting pressure on myself to do everything and expect everything to be perfect!



 
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Old Oct 30th, 2017, 16:44 PM   32
Bonnie11
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I would say it's easiest looking back because now I have a stroppy diva 3 year old so it's very challenging in different ways! Newborns you can go out and about anytime and not having to think too much about routine for a few months, however you worry much more!
Yes I would say take out any pre conceptions of what you think it will be like/should be like. Relax and enjoy it for what it is. The only thing that will be perfect is your baby! X



 
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Old Oct 30th, 2017, 18:36 PM   33
itsnowmyturn
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I thought the same as Bonnie. Couldn't wait for the newborn stage again and was looking forward to having a child that didn't answer me back or need constant entertaining or didn't literally talk every minute of every hour from the moment she wakes up. Now I'm back with that newborn I can honestly say nope it's still as boring and tedious as it was the first time round except this time u don't get to sit and enjoy the cuddles as much because the toddler wants to play or be fed, and u can't rest while the baby sleeps for the same reasons.



 
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Old Nov 5th, 2017, 12:25 PM   34
x-ginge-x
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Ladies, I encourage all and any FTM even second third and fourth ones to look up fourth trimester, it will make that terrifying newborn phase make SO much sense to you with my first I was pretty much a rabbit in headlights, when my second was born I knew about it and suddenly I felt so much better remember bad times are just times that are bad nothing is permanent x



 
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Old Nov 6th, 2017, 22:46 PM   35
jessmke
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Honestly I find the second one harder, only because I feel like I should know what I am doing, but my babies are completely different so I am encountering things that I didn't have to deal with when I had my first. I guess with my first I knew I was just going to be winging it because I had no idea what to expect, but with my second I felt like I should be a pro at this. But they are such different babies that I feel like a FTM all over again and still pass time during night feeds looking up on my phone how to deal with baby issues!



 
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Old Nov 7th, 2017, 05:02 AM   36
itsnowmyturn
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I second what Jess says. It's not just first time mum's winging it, all parents are winging it, secretly none of us no what we are doing some of us just hide it better lol.

Also I struggle to remember some of the things about my daughter, the first month is a total blur and the next 4 or 5 months is a bit hazy. I was reading back on here some of my posts from when she was a baby and I don't remember them or remember writing it lol.



 
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Old Nov 7th, 2017, 11:46 AM   37
Wish2BMom
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wow, thank you so much for this thread! what a slap of reality! I'm going to be a FTM of twins come January (hopefully they bake that long). I've already started a mantra to just go with the flow, we know nothing and nothing will be 'easy'. But as long as we try to be open to things changing on a dime, open to one another's ideas (DH), and supporting each other as much as possible, then I think we can crawl our way through it. Thankfully my mom and sister will be up for the first 3 weeks and DH gets 6 weeks of paternity, so we should be able to handle it from a resource perspective!



 
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Old Nov 8th, 2017, 09:45 AM   38
MEPride
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wish2BMom View Post
wow, thank you so much for this thread! what a slap of reality! I'm going to be a FTM of twins come January (hopefully they bake that long). I've already started a mantra to just go with the flow, we know nothing and nothing will be 'easy'. But as long as we try to be open to things changing on a dime, open to one another's ideas (DH), and supporting each other as much as possible, then I think we can crawl our way through it. Thankfully my mom and sister will be up for the first 3 weeks and DH gets 6 weeks of paternity, so we should be able to handle it from a resource perspective!
I'm glad you have such help! The phrase "it takes a village" is no joke. If I didn't have my mother and MIL helping... wow. And DH has been an absolute gem the entire time. Emotions run really high with a newborn and it doesn't stop with the baby blues. I've been crying on/off since last night because DD slept an amazing 7 1/2 hour stretch and then a 4 hour stretch last night. But I slept for a grand total of 1.5 hours because of insomnia. It's like a cruel cosmic joke. And then to have to tend to a wide awake baby needing to be entertained is hard. But you learn to live with it. You learn to function on 1.5 hours of sleep and a screaming baby, a dog puking in the corner, not showering, and trying to get ready for your 6 week follow up appointment. You adjust. And then you hold their warm body against yours.... or DD falls asleep on your chest. Or she smiles at you for the first time.... and it all becomes worth it.

But I couldn't do it without DH helping me as much as he does. Most of what women do when a baby is born is to take care of the baby. The husband's job is to help take care of you. If I've learned nothing else (and I like to think that I have), I have learned at least that.



 
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Old Nov 8th, 2017, 15:24 PM   39
Wish2BMom
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THANK YOU, MEPride!!



 
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Old Nov 10th, 2017, 13:21 PM   40
Reiko_ctu
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I would take the first 6 weeks postpartum every day over pregnancy lol! Yes it's very tough but once you have older kids you enjoy the newborn days a little bit more, how most of the time being carried or patted or fed solves all problems. Yes there's little sleep but honestly my 4 year old is still up in the night so for some kids it doesn't get better.

The best thing we did was start babywearing. I can't wait for a newborn again. I'm so excited.



 
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