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Old Nov 30th, 2017, 08:43 AM   11
itsnowmyturn
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My daughter will be 3 in jan and she is experiencing a lot of jealousy but more due to not getting quite as much attention, in reality in have found that it doesn't matter what u do it will have an effect on them. Yes I deal with her needs first but she requires a lot of stimulation and obviously I can't always entertain her. She has tried various ways of getting extra attention, whether good or bad, including starting to wet herself in the car, and just generally playing up and being defiant. My advice is deal with each thing as it comes up because there is so many things that they could do that you will exhaust yourself if u try to stop them all before they start. Plus u could be creating an issue where there wouldn't be one.
Do what u have to do to help your eldest get through it because they have to realise by themselves that mummy and daddy still love them.

I have been trying to get my daughter to play areas where she doesn't require me to entertain Her, gives her the time where things are no different because her little brother isn't affecting things and it gives me time where I'm not having to tell her off and I'm not as stressed.

She loves her brother and gives him several kisses and cuddles every day and always wants to hold him so not likingbhim being around isn't the issue it's just hard for her to adjust to the change in circumstances.



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2017, 17:16 PM   12
Zephram
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We also experienced major jealousy on the part of DS1 when DS2 was born. We did all the recommended things to prepare him, but when it actually happened he was just not ready to share us and he really did not take to his new brother for quite some time.

There are a lot of lucky women on this thread if they haven't had jealousy issues, but as I understand it it's pretty common. I really don't think we could have done anything more to prepare DS1, he just had to get through it in the way that was natural to him. It's a big change for a young kid to have this new baby come into their lives. My midwife always likens it to OH bringing home a new wife and just being like 'They're here to stay'.

Sometimes, no matter what you do you will experience jealousy or competitiveness. DS1 eventually warmed to DS2 and I would now call them best buddies, although they fight all the time over everything. They love each other, but they are both what I'd call 'alpha males' in the form of tiny children, so they both want to be first all the time, which causes issues. Personality has a lot to do with it - DS1 is quite highly strung and I'm not as worried about DS2 with our third baby coming as he has always had a sibling, so the situation is not new to him. DS1 being older now understands much better about DS3 coming and is quite excited about having a new brother this time around.

Another useful tip is to prepare your first for what a newborn baby is actually like and what they actually do. They aren't really exciting, they can't play, they breastfeed all day, sleep, cry and poop and that is basically it. Explain it takes time for them to learn to talk and move and play with them.



 
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Old Dec 2nd, 2017, 03:51 AM   13
itsnowmyturn
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Zeph I'm glad I'm not the only one who's child didn't get jealous lol. I was beginning to think I was alone or I had done something wrong. My daughter was amazed for a day or so and I thought we were going to be ok but then her behaviour slowly got worse. We've had a good few days with her now so hoping she's coming out of it by herself.



 
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Old Dec 3rd, 2017, 09:13 AM   14
PaulaR
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My daughter was 2 yrs 9 mos when my son was born and took it really well. I always let her touch, hold, feed, play with the baby so I think she felt like it was her baby too not just mine



 
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