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Old Jan 3rd, 2018, 22:03 PM   1
Monix
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Do you give a gift to midwife or babysitter?


After delivering my son I realized that some people leave gifts for their midwifes. How common is this and what do you give?

Also my toddler will be staying with friends while we’re in the hospital if the baby comes before my MIL arrives (our families live overseas). It would be strange to offer to pay them, I was thinking paying for dinner and babysitting their toddler so they could go on a date. Is this enough though?? I had a long labour and was in the hospital for 3 nights with my first son. What are you doing for the person looking after your older child??



 
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Old Jan 3rd, 2018, 23:19 PM   2
Cewsbaby
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I think a gift card and babysitting offer would be amazing for whoever is keeping your son. I would do the same but he will either be with us at the hospital or with my mom if she makes it in time since she lives in another state and is flying in.



 
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Old Jan 3rd, 2018, 23:24 PM   3
WackyMumof2
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My first midwife I just loved so much. She was brilliant, very caring, good sense of humor. We got her a nice bottle of red wine, some posh chocolates and gave her a framed photo of our eldest. Second time around we just did a photo and frame as money was a bit tight and for DS3, because she discharged us around Christmas, I was trying to sort that and completely forgot. I have her this pregnancy too so it will be double the photos and double the presents I think because I am not having anymore babies after this one.



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2018, 03:10 AM   4
Bonnie11
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Think it really depends on your relationship with your mw. I didn't see the same one twice last time, was in hospital for nearly a week so didn't know who anyone was really. As for the friends, maybe see how long you end up being in the hospital for? I would do a gift voucher for a restaurant or something like that?



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2018, 03:57 AM   5
Fire_fly
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Same as Bonnie here, I rarely see the same midwive twice and the midwive during my labour with my daughter was one I'd never met before (she was lovely though) my mum will have my DD when I go in for my section, haven't really thought about gifts in that respect. She is coming to help me after we have a few days at home for a week or so, I'll probably get her a little something then to say thanks. For friends, I'd probably buy them something like some nice chocolates, flowers etc (just depending on their individual taste) x



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2018, 04:04 AM   6
LoraLoo
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I'd probably just do a bottle of wine for the friend. I dont think we should feel we have to automatically reward favours. I definitely wouldnt expect dinner paid for, for helping a friend out. Unless it was a midwife id had right the way through or someone that went the extra mile I wouldn't get a gift. If i did again itd be a box of chocs, flowers or wine.



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2018, 09:24 AM   7
Talia12
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Same as bonnie and firefly, I didn't even see the same midwife throughout my labour let alone throughout my pregnancy haha. I do think it's a nice idea if you do know your midwife and if she does a really good job with you, but I wouldn't say it's a must.
And in terms of who's having your older child I'd say it depends who - my dad is having my ds and he won't be expecting anything. In fact he loves looking after him and doesn't get all that many opportunities so he won't want anything in return but if it were a friend rather than family member, I'd probably just send a thank you for looking after me card from my ds afterwards. You have enough to sort when you've got a newborn, and people will understand that!



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2018, 09:38 AM   8
MindUtopia
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If you have a relationship with your midwife, a thoughtful card and photo of you and baby would be really nice. I'm with a very small home birth team and have seen the same midwife for every appt and really gotten to know her, but honestly, I don't plan to get her a gift. Especially with it being so close to Christmas, I'm sure she's still swimming in chocolate anyway! But I expect that, like teachers, they really appreciate a handwritten card and to know how much of a difference they made to your birth experience.

As for people caring for your older children, I would perhaps sent flowers and a bottle of wine or something with a nice thank you card. An offer of babysitting would be nice too (once you're back on your feet) if you have that kind of relationship. Our doula will stay with our daughter if I need to go in to hospital (I'm having a home birth, otherwise, she'll just be here with us for the birth), so technically we're paying her. I probably will get her a card as well if I am functioning well enough to actually remember to do it by the time we have our postnatal appt! We have a few other friends/family who are on standby just in case we need someone around for longer than she can stay. One is our babysitter, so we'll pay her and then probably send her a thank you card as well. Others are friends or family, and I would probably send a card and flowers to say thank you depending on how long they stayed. I think just showing your gratitude in a small way is enough. I don't think most people would expect a gift, but anything small I'm sure would be appreciated.



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2018, 11:42 AM   9
annio84
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We brought chocolates for the midwives at the birth centre a couple of weeks later. The midwives on delivery suite didn't get anything because I didn't think they deserved it.

Not sure who will have DD when I go into labour, depending on the time she might just come with us. I think your idea sounds lovely though.



 
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Old Jan 5th, 2018, 10:00 AM   10
Monix
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Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! I feel better knowing everyone has similar thoughts, that a small gift would be appreciated but not expected. I was worried for a while that I was the only one who didn’t give my midwife a gift but my 1st was born shortly before Christmas and I was so overwhelmed nobody got gifts that year!

Same with the friend gift, I’ll find something nice to say thank you but it sounds like nobody would be expecting anything extravagant.

Thanks again!



 
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