OH no longer interested in me sexually? :(

Justagirlxx · May 24th, 2010, 21:29 PM

I love my OH but recently I've noticed that he is no longer sexually attracted to me now that I've grown a bump. Its been bothering me because I feel so unattractive. He used to always check me out when I walked by him or when I was drying off after a shower, etc. Now he doesnt even seem to notice me sexually at all. We haven't had sex for weeks even though I've wanted to, he usually says he is too tired.

Has this happened to any of you ladies?

Its really upsetting me as I love him and want him to be attracted to me like he used to be.

Dopeyjopey · May 24th, 2010, 21:37 PM

Hmm... I had this with FOB before we broke up but not because he wasn't interested in me sexually. This may be TMI but he had warts (had not told me previously) and didn't want to pass it on.

I'm not for a second suggesting it's the same thing but the lesson I learnt is to talk about it if it's bothering you x

karamel · May 24th, 2010, 22:15 PM

Could it be not necessarily that he's not attracted, but that he's "weirded out" ; what I mean is, with my OH, he doesn't want to hurt baby, so we don't have sex. He's not as intimate as he once was, as it would excite him, and again, he's worried about the LO. Although I told him it's fine to have sex, he's still concerned. We haven't had sex in weeks, but it's not because he doesn't find me attractive, as he still gets aroused, he just won't follow through.
XO don't worry ; men are just weird.

aliss · May 24th, 2010, 22:27 PM

Sorry you feel like shit, been there and yeah, it sucks. I guess we are programmed to believe that men will do it anywhere anytime and take it personally. My OH's reason was that he didn't want to hurt the baby/cause premature labour/it was too "weird" with his son there (inside me!) - despite showing him any/all lit that showed this stuff not to be true.

At 37 weeks, he was again good to go. Maybe that will make a difference. I think some men are far more vulnerable than they seem - they really do think of us as more delicate and don't want to hurt/cause problems.

bungle · May 25th, 2010, 00:43 AM

Ur def not alone. My OH and I have DTD 3 times since I got my BFP!! I brought it up the other day and finally managed to get an answer - he just doesn't feel right having sex with our daughter in between us. Don't get me wrong I'm still a little hurt/disappointed that he can't get over this but at least I know what the matter is and it's not that he thinks I look like a scary beached whale!! Lol
if ur worried or it's getting u down then have a chat with him
x

JayeD · May 25th, 2010, 00:54 AM

My OH said something to me the other week once my bump started to show. He said that he felt uncomfortable being intimate with me when we were in any position where we were tummy to tummy. He felt like he was going to squish our LO, especially since my tummy was starting to grow larger. I tried to tell him that he was being ridiculous and that our LO was supported by a "flexible barrier" but he still felt uncomfortable. He didn't want to cause any damage.

He suggested that we start getting creative with what positions that we were in so that we could still be intimate and not hurt the LO.

Why don't you suggest that to your OH? It's entirely possible that he's now afraid to hurt you and your LO.

LeanneS177 · May 25th, 2010, 01:10 AM

my OH is the same. he told me he is afraid of hurting the baby, although he knows this isnt possible. he says he cant concentrate with my bump in between us and suggested we try another postion where its not visible. i told him to forget it, my back aches enough as it is without bedroom acrobatics making it worse. he's either going to have to deal with it or go without! unfortunatley it means the same for me!!

karenmack · May 25th, 2010, 01:19 AM

My OH was exactly the same when I was pregnant with our son and there was many tears!! It wasn't anything to do with not being sexually attracted anymore but he felt very uncomfortable doing the deed with a baby wriggling around in there and it wierded him out a bit!! Second time round he has got used to it and has realised that no harm is done to bubs so it's been fine! Have a chat with him Hun that's most likely what it is x x c

Ella_Mummy · May 25th, 2010, 02:10 AM

when i pregnant with Ella my OH wouldnt touch me with a bargepole from about 25 weeks onwards! It was awful and i took it to heart. He just felt weirded out by it all. men are strange creatures. try not to worry. He doesnt find you unattractive, im sure, he just finds it weird with baby 'there, watching'

Linz88 · May 25th, 2010, 02:30 AM

I reli wouldnt take it to heart hun, tbh if i was a guy i wouldnt wana have sex with a pregnant women either, he probably sees it as its the baby body now and he can atleast wait a few more months before doin it just to make sure babys safe! Maybe just tlk to him, im pretty sure hez stil attracted to u, some men AND WOMEN r jut weirded out by it!

May 24th, 2010, 21:29 PM	#1
Justagirlxx Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Germany Posts: 3,379	OH no longer interested in me sexually? :( I love my OH but recently I've noticed that he is no longer sexually attracted to me now that I've grown a bump. Its been bothering me because I feel so unattractive. He used to always check me out when I walked by him or when I was drying off after a shower, etc. Now he doesnt even seem to notice me sexually at all. We haven't had sex for weeks even though I've wanted to, he usually says he is too tired. Has this happened to any of you ladies? Its really upsetting me as I love him and want him to be attracted to me like he used to be.

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May 24th, 2010, 21:37 PM	#2
Dopeyjopey Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: UK Posts: 6,225	Hmm... I had this with FOB before we broke up but not because he wasn't interested in me sexually. This may be TMI but he had warts (had not told me previously) and didn't want to pass it on. I'm not for a second suggesting it's the same thing but the lesson I learnt is to talk about it if it's bothering you x

Status: Offline

May 24th, 2010, 22:15 PM	#3
karamel Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 453	Could it be not necessarily that he's not attracted, but that he's "weirded out" ; what I mean is, with my OH, he doesn't want to hurt baby, so we don't have sex. He's not as intimate as he once was, as it would excite him, and again, he's worried about the LO. Although I told him it's fine to have sex, he's still concerned. We haven't had sex in weeks, but it's not because he doesn't find me attractive, as he still gets aroused, he just won't follow through. XO don't worry ; men are just weird.

Status: Offline

May 24th, 2010, 22:27 PM	#4
aliss AutoSignup (SAAB) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Québec Posts: 24,356	Sorry you feel like shit, been there and yeah, it sucks. I guess we are programmed to believe that men will do it anywhere anytime and take it personally. My OH's reason was that he didn't want to hurt the baby/cause premature labour/it was too "weird" with his son there (inside me!) - despite showing him any/all lit that showed this stuff not to be true. At 37 weeks, he was again good to go. Maybe that will make a difference. I think some men are far more vulnerable than they seem - they really do think of us as more delicate and don't want to hurt/cause problems.

Status: Online

May 25th, 2010, 00:43 AM	#5
bungle Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chippenham, Wilts Posts: 1,358	Ur def not alone. My OH and I have DTD 3 times since I got my BFP!! I brought it up the other day and finally managed to get an answer - he just doesn't feel right having sex with our daughter in between us. Don't get me wrong I'm still a little hurt/disappointed that he can't get over this but at least I know what the matter is and it's not that he thinks I look like a scary beached whale!! Lol if ur worried or it's getting u down then have a chat with him x

Status: Offline

May 25th, 2010, 00:54 AM	#6
JayeD Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: British Columbia Posts: 1,868	My OH said something to me the other week once my bump started to show. He said that he felt uncomfortable being intimate with me when we were in any position where we were tummy to tummy. He felt like he was going to squish our LO, especially since my tummy was starting to grow larger. I tried to tell him that he was being ridiculous and that our LO was supported by a "flexible barrier" but he still felt uncomfortable. He didn't want to cause any damage. He suggested that we start getting creative with what positions that we were in so that we could still be intimate and not hurt the LO. Why don't you suggest that to your OH? It's entirely possible that he's now afraid to hurt you and your LO.

Status: Offline

May 25th, 2010, 01:10 AM	#7
LeanneS177 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Perth, Western Australia Posts: 410	my OH is the same. he told me he is afraid of hurting the baby, although he knows this isnt possible. he says he cant concentrate with my bump in between us and suggested we try another postion where its not visible. i told him to forget it, my back aches enough as it is without bedroom acrobatics making it worse. he's either going to have to deal with it or go without! unfortunatley it means the same for me!!

Status: Offline

May 25th, 2010, 01:19 AM	#8
karenmack Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Rutland, UK Posts: 433	My OH was exactly the same when I was pregnant with our son and there was many tears!! It wasn't anything to do with not being sexually attracted anymore but he felt very uncomfortable doing the deed with a baby wriggling around in there and it wierded him out a bit!! Second time round he has got used to it and has realised that no harm is done to bubs so it's been fine! Have a chat with him Hun that's most likely what it is x x c

Status: Offline

May 25th, 2010, 02:10 AM	#9
Ella_Mummy Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 332	when i pregnant with Ella my OH wouldnt touch me with a bargepole from about 25 weeks onwards! It was awful and i took it to heart. He just felt weirded out by it all. men are strange creatures. try not to worry. He doesnt find you unattractive, im sure, he just finds it weird with baby 'there, watching'

Status: Offline

May 25th, 2010, 02:30 AM	#10
Linz88 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Birmingham, England, UK Posts: 1,979	I reli wouldnt take it to heart hun, tbh if i was a guy i wouldnt wana have sex with a pregnant women either, he probably sees it as its the baby body now and he can atleast wait a few more months before doin it just to make sure babys safe! Maybe just tlk to him, im pretty sure hez stil attracted to u, some men AND WOMEN r jut weirded out by it!

Status: Offline

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