apparantly i have to SHARE my baby!!! (bit of a rant)
apparantly my little boy that ive been carrying for last 8 n a half mnth isnt just mine n my oh's. I have to share him with everyone.
R YOU BEEN SERIOUS!!
Im so sick of feeling like an incubator for everyone else.
All the way through my pregnancy my parents have hardly bothered with me, bt then when theyve seen me all ive had is my step mother saying how excited she is n that im carrying her child. Erm no love im carrying mine, so now the closer i get to my due date theyve been bothering with me mre. Suprise suprise.
But with my step mum making me feel like an incubator i havent really been bothering. why should i.
Oh's family on the other hand have been fantastic, just genrally supportive n helping anyway they can and been excited for me n oh n our little boy.
Weve also set a rule that we dont want everyone turning up at ours once little one has arrived as we want some time to ourselves with our baby. So we said we wuld have visitors at hospital so ppl can see him and then when we get home we want a week maybe two week to ourselves alone. But oh no my step mum dint like that idea before.
But then yesterday i had my sister telling me how theyve been telling her they feel like there not guna see him as much as oh's parents n that there guna get pushed out. Oh n how there doin such a nice thing n there just guna visit us at hospital then give us some space for two week. As though its off there own backs!!! They forgot to tell her that we requested that. So arent they so nice doin that for us. What a joke.
But then my sister goes on to say that i have to understand that everyone just wants to be involved and is excited and that im goin to have to share him with everyone.
His not a fucking shiny new toy for everyone to come n play with. His mine and my oh's son for god sake!!! I understand that ppl want to c him n b involved. But im not carrying my baby for everyone else to think that he is theres or that i have to have ppl everyday bothering me. I wunt mind if they usually bothered bit they dnt, n now im having a baby they all want to know. Im starting to get so mad.
Why cant ppl understand that this little boy that im carrying is mine and my oh's. Im not an incubator for them and im not guna live my life to accomadate them.
Its pretty pathetic to go to my sister as well to be honest n for her to try n make me feel quilty. She want trying to make me feel guilty when my step mum was telling everyone i was carrying her child, bt now oh shes just excited.
Im just guna find ppl so overbearing when he arrives n not really sure what i can say to ppl for them to get that im not carrying my son for them!!!!!! Arghh!
best advice put yr foot down now. if you want space you have space !! no-one can tell you what to do hun hes yr baby !! from day 1 make sure you are in charge and dont let them take over in any way they will soon realize yr serious about yr baby and if they take offence then thats their problem. like you said they dont usually bother with you so how is it fair to you that they want to be so involved now !!
you will do whats best for your family you just have to learn to say no !! x
My MIL is the one who is getting on my nerves, my mum and step mum are great
When me and my hubby got together 7 years ago I was no where good enough for him, because I already had a daughter, and she called me atrocious names, and I wasnt allowed in her house (lol).
This lasted for 4 years then I found out I was pregnant.....surprise suprise a complete U-Turn. Couldnt have been nicer, and was all over me like cheap perfume.
Unfortunately, I then had a MC at 12 weeks, and things went back to the norm, ie, not good enough. Then me n my hubby got married, and she actually wore black to the wedding (lol).
and surprisingly, Im now good enough now that I am pregnant again, and she is all over me again like a cheap suit.
Personally I cant let go of the grudge, after almost 7 years of abuse and sneering down her nose. Even now its clear she cant stand me, but is aware of the fact that I would quite happily take the kids and her son and cut her out of our lives.
I think the fact she completely slagged me off is forgivable, but she brought my kids into it, and slagged them off as well, which is not.
Although its bloody hard cos she has manipulated the whole lot of the family and actually throws tantrums when she doesnt get her own way, and falls out with everyone, so my hubby is reluctant to "hurt her feelings". She is also a very overbearing person, who likes to take over. I am refusing to let her interfere, and have sworn my hubby and my own mum to back me up if the need arrives.
But the good news is, if you just smile sweetly at these people while telling them exactly how its gonna be makes you the bigger person.
Its your baby, and you are perfectly within your rights to request time at home by yourself. I personally am happy if people want to visit, but if they are tiring at the best of times, its not safe to have them visit when you are likely to be tired, cranky and irritable. Thats how wars start lol.
Good luck with the babba, and sorry for hijacking your rant to have my own! lol
Location: We are from the UK but live in Spain. Hope to move to Gibraltar soon!
Wow! People (women in particular!) can be so funny when they find out a baby is on the way! Your step-Mum sounds like a total nightmare!!!!!!!! I am lucky that my MIL and Mum are both being fantastic and arent interfering at all. A lot of our friends who live very close by (walking distance) are so excited about the arrival of our LO as there arent any other babies in the area that Im going to say that anyone is welcome to drop by for a cuppa and to see the baby, AS LONG as they text first to see if its convenient!
A lovely lady who lives nearby and has crocheted (sp) a gorgeous cardigan for LO came up to me on Saturday night and said 'How's MY baby?' and rubbed my tummy!!!! I just laughed! Im very happy to have all our friends/neighbours excitement and support but ultimately if it gets too much I just wont answer the door!!!
I have the same problem, since Christmas dinner is always at my husbands aunts a few weeks before christmas this baby could potentially only be a few weeks old, if I go on time...maybe 3 or 4 weeks, if I go late obviously even younger, when I said we MIGHT come if the baby is old enough to make the trip...and considering the weather I got some nasty comments, something like "you know you have to share the baby"
I was unaware that I had to SHARE my child.....and I said I dont want people holding him if hes only a few weeks old...passing him around, in the winter when everyone is sick and all the kids there will be sick, I then got commented on how I will be breast feeding and that wont be an issue.....not all babies breast feed and since my sister in law wont give back my breast pump if he wont feed then I will have to formula feed?
Anyway I get where your coming from, my mother in law bought an infant carseat.....ummmm......not happening!
My family are always like "I bought this today for our baby...." err sorry did you donate an egg and sperm? Have I missed something?
I know they mean well but I ended up having a chat with mum last night just saying I felt very overprotective now because I didnt want anyone taking her off me or sticking their oar in about how I bring my daughter up etc. and they're all planning when they'll take her out for the day or have her to stay over at their house...
Everyone is welcome to visit long as it's prearranged and not immediately after giving birth I want some time to settle in first with my new little family!
My sisters and mum and OH's parents can be a little overbearing at times and I've told OH that I don't want visitors galore when I've just had my vajayjay stitched up literally lol
I actually went as far as to clearly state my visiting rules on Facebook as my status. Pretty much everyone I know see's and uses it and that way everyone gets the same message.
We're going with NO unannounced visitors and DH co-ordinating all visits too keep them at a manageable level. DH will tell people when to leave etc if we look tired or little man needs a feed. I don't want to end up with DH and little man losing vital bonding time in those first 2 weeks or breastfeeding becoming harder or more stressful because we always have company.
I'm going to point blank refuse to let in and see anyone who just decides to "turn up" xx
i dont get this u have to share him thing though n its really bugging me. Lol maybe im been abit over the top with hormones or sumat but to me his mine and my oh's n thats it. We dont have to share him at all. Obviously family want to be involved, bt i feel like they think im having him for them at the moment and his not actually goin to be mine. Im getting to a point were i just want to lock myself in my flat when he arrives and not let anyone neat him lol
Am i wrong in thinking that LO is just mine n oh's n we dont have to share him?
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