My mum is planning to take 2 weeks off around when my LO is due. My dad is driving up the country and I've only seen him 3 times since I was about 13. OH's mum is also driving up from where she lives and wants to stay somewhere close by.
I love all of these people dearly, but I am going to find it so overwhelming having all these people wanting to visit me to see the baby all the time.
What is a nice and loving and polite way I can tell them all that me and baby and OH want to be alone, at least for a few days?
On top of that the midwife will be visiting daily as well as a breastfeeding consultant, it's all going to be too much for us.
My mum seems to think that I am totally helpless and will need her here all day during the first couple of weeks, but I would go crazy and OH doesn't get along all that well with her. They are nice to eachother but mum is only 45 (I'm 28 in a couple of months) and she acts very young. OH (Mathew) is very..ahh...steady and stable and doesn't understand my mum very well.
We live in a tiny flat, so small that our bed is in the lounge, no way can we host all these people here.
We also have a pretty good routine in regards to cleaning, meals, washing clothes etc.
My mum has been brilliant to me, especially since I found out I was pregnant, and is totally over the moon and fizzing over with excitement. This is the first grandchild and she's bought his pram and 90% of his clothing too.
I just feel so awefull and mean and don't know how to tell her that we need alone time . What would you say? The other family members I am more able to be firm with and say no, but I love my mum to bits and she's very sensitive.
At least she isnt planning on staying with u!
my mum asked me if she could come up and stay for a week once my OH goes back to work(he is taking 2 weeks off),while i said i would love her to stay she would have to give me at least a week on my own so i could get into my own routine and no that i can manage on my own.Thankfully she was very understanding. She will be up before that but just for a day and if she wants to stay overnight she will stay with my sister.
All i can say is just speak to her and explain how ur feeling and im sure she will understand,good luck
the only thing you can dp is be totally honest, just explain that although you are very grateful to them all for wanting to come and help ou and visit, you would like for them to hang on for a couple of weeks to give you and your OH chance to bond with your babya dn get yourselfs into a rountine. and hopefully they will understand, if they dont then as mean as it may sound, its not your problem you shouldnt put yourself out and upset yourself for the sake of not upsetting others.x
hey hun i guarantee ur mum will be more understandin than u give her credit for!
my mum lives 3 hours away nd as soon as i go into labour she is drivin up nd stayin for 2 weeks.
i started to panic bout the 'stayin for 2 weeks' part... i do have 2 bedrooms... but 1 is mine nd 1 is nursery... so nowhere for her to sleep.
then i went to stay with her last week, nd she turned round nd said she was worried bout where she was gonna stay when she came up after i'd had the baby... not because she wanted to stay with me... but because her sis, her mum nd her dad had all said she could stay at theirs nd SHE didn't want to upset anyone!! ha... so even tho she's normally very over-bearin she never even expected to stay at mine.
then she said i could have her as much or as little as i wanted... if i wanted her there nd i had other people comin round... she'd go shoppin for me... or take my washin to my grandma's to be washed nd ironed(!)... basically jus disappear until i demanded her back!
so i could have posted somethin pretty similar to u a few weeks ago... but after a quick chat everythin got solved... nd i realised that i'd blew the whole situation out of proportion in my head!
so jus talk!
I would ask your mom if she can change it till after your OH goes back to work, point out you will need more help then as you will be on your own. I have asked my mom to do this as I want my OH to get to bond with our baby before anyone else gets a chance.
My mum mentioned this yesterday and I told her that I didn't want her to come over every day and I'd prefer to be on my own - as my DH will be with me and we'll be new parents and a new family. My sister also said the same, and I told her that we would prefer to be on our own but people can visit once a week or something for the first couple of weeks.
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