so some people know my story... some don't.
basically, i was in a happy relationship, got pregnant (was an accident - on the pill but rubbish at takin it), boyfriend stayed with me, then the day before my 12 week scan my ex sent me a fb message statin, he didn't like me, pretended to in the hope i would choose him over baby, nd lots of other horrible things.
so now i'm gonna be a single mum, very happy nd excited at this prospect... i was upset at first but got over it quickly... havin a baby to focus on helped immensly.
so basically after my grandma told me a little story last night it made me realise that i'm pretty lucky that it is this 'day nd age'.
my grandma got pregnant at 19... her mother made her marry my grandad (they later divorced - go figure!)... my grandma accepted this until she made it to the grand old age (not that old) of 63 nd found a letter stashed in her mothers things.
in this letter it stated how the man she thought was her dad actually wasn't... nd she was 'illegitimate'.
she'd always been told a story of how her mother had married an airman in rochdale, nd she had been conceived... her father then became a POW durin WW2 nd when he came back they no longer had anythin in common, got divorced, nd my grandma nd her mum moved back to teesside. so even tho she had got divorced at a young age with a child, she almost received a heroes welcome home due to the story of her ex bein a POW.
the true story was that my grandma's mum had joined the RAF too during the war... met this man... had a fling (shock horror)... got pregnant by him... got sent to an aunts to have the baby... but then refused to give the child (my grandma) up.
so her parents then forced her to stay in rochdale for 2 years... change her surname by deedpoll to match that of her child's father (to give the impression that they had been married)... nd concoct this POW story before she was allowed to move back with the baby.
sorry if i'm borin anyone by the way i jus find this very interestin.
so basically my grandma said that in my circumstances in my grans time... i would have been forced to marry my baby's dad (which would be horrible as he is obviously a right sh*t)... or been sent off to live with an 'aunt' nd forced to give my child away...
isn't it crazy how times have changed... bearin in mind this was still happenin maybe 30 / 40 years ago.
nd its no wonder old woman look at me like i'm the devil incarnate
she was all like 'nd u think we're all born old... no, we can be jus a fruity as u young guns!'
ha... she then went on to tell me bout how my grandma nd grandad (on my dads side), had also been forced to get married at 18 nd that my grandad had atleast 2 secret children (from before he married my grandma!).
eeesh my family are a disgrace... so ashamed!!
Gemabee - both my grandmothers were pregnant when they married.
One marriage was a failure but they struggled on until my grandfather died, my grandmother is still very much alive at 94 but suffered through years of an unfaithful husband more interested in her as a housekeeper than a wife, both my Dad and my Uncle are sure they should never have married but not doing so was not an option. The other marriage was a success and my other grandad was heartbroken when my granny died. What came as a shock to all concerned (including my Mum and her sister) was after my grandad died too we found out that my Gran had been married before and was just divorced when she married my grandad -for a working class woman in the 40's this was almost unheard of. My grandparents celebrated the wrong wedding anniversary date throughout their marriage so that there was a 9 month gap between that and my Mother's birthday....
My great gran it appears had 3 kids by 3 different fathers - and we cant find any evidence that she married any of them - now this must be going back to around the 1st world war time......
also just to add .. my family only found out a secret like this last year but its still bit hush hush...my nan got preg at 17 and had to give her son to her mother to bring up...when my nan passed away it all came out that her "brother" was actually my mums brother...sad when you think of it for my nan and other ladies like this who have to live alongside there children being brought up in the family by someone else xx
ooooh i'm so glad other people have scandalous families as well.
i was actually upset when i found out that my grandad had 2 other children... he abandoned them like my ex has done to me... but i suppose i don't know the exact circumstances.
him nd my grandma (even tho they were forced into marriage) had an amazingly strong marriage... my grandad was heartbroken when my grandma died... he himself has recently died nd i strongly believe he spent the last few years waitin to join her.
my grandma also told me that after she gave birth to all of her children she had to go to church to be blessed as she would not be allowed into anyone elses home as givin birth was sinful!?
this is why children got christened.... as they were born through sin!!
isn't it a bit ridiculous when u think about it!
it is ridiculous...dont let it upset you..you know your grandma and grandad and just because they had to get married doesnt mean they didnt feel the same amount of love for each other if they chose to get married things were just different then i suppose..its nice to look back on familys but things like this do upset you because inside you still have more questions and things coz i know i do..it was just a shame that we found all this out after my nan died but it breaks my heart noing she had to live with that secret xx
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