Anyone else dealing with a family member who thinks everything you do is wrong?
I've been debating if I'd go into this right now here or not, because as I am knew and you guys don't really know me yet lol. However, maybe it is better to discuss this with people who don't know me well.
I have a cousin, she is my first cousin, we have always been close, like best friends, till recently. She lives in Ohio and I live in Texas and we've not seen each other in over 10yrs but we talk on the phone a lot, or well we use to. Just a little back history before I get into the issue. She and I have had similar issues, we can't seem to make friends in person. However, she has made a few recently, and I am happy for her, however now that she has made her friends, I am on the back burner as "Nothing better to do."
Sunday she called me and we chatted a few moments, she asked me if I've lost any more weight, and I told her that I'm down 39lbs from the start of it all, and she had the nerve to tell me that I obviously am not doing something right, that my baby and I are both unhealthy to for me to be losing this weight like this. Keep in mind she has had gestational diabetes with both her kids, and has had BIG babies both times. Her smallest was 10lbs I think. I told her the measurements from my last US of the baby, almost 3 lbs and almost 15 inches. She told me that my baby was to small and that she told her friends about me and losing weight, and her friends told her that I obviously not eating or something because me nor my baby can be healthy losing weight. But back up a minute, she tells me that her friend who is due 3 days after me (my due date is Dec 23rd) that her baby is weighing in at 5lbs right now. Well I had cut her off from her telling me what her friends said, and I told her that I did not know her friends, her friends do not know me and things I talk to her about should stay between us unless she asks me if she can talk to her friends about it. My issues in pregnancy are things I don't discuss with EVERYONE about. I also told her that I am glad that she and her friends know what is best for me over my doctors care and that obviously my doctor is an idiot because he hasn't worried about my weight loss. I ended up telling her before I said something I'd regret that I needed to hang up. So I did.
Yesterday, she called me and this time the convo went like this. (This is why I stated that I'm nothing better)
Her: Hey, I had nothing better to do, so I figured I'd call and see what you were doing.
Me: Gesh, nice to know I'm 2nd choice and nothing better, after all when no one else was there for you I was, but now you don't need me so I'm just nothing better, I really appreciate that.
I can hear her texting, she is talking to me on her cell and I can hear her texting while she is talking to me. She stops and then says "Hey I gotta go, my friend is on her way" and hangs up. So I assume something better came alone.
So anyways, as you see there is tension and hurt there. Anyone else having any issues with family telling you that you obviously aren't doing things right? I'm really still applaud by her reaction on that. Anytime we have talked she has something judgmental to say about me and my pregnancy, I've decided to put up a boundary and not answer the phone for at least a week when she calls. I'm not a pet and I'm not 2nd choice.
i cnt stand ppl that only bother when they have nwt better to do. If ur doctor is happy with ur weight n the way ur baby is growing then theres nowt to worry about. Im due anytime now, an i have family that hardly ever bother. But now my babys due anytime, they all want to know me n be involved when baby arrives. I know what il be telling them to do lol xx
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