Not sure what to think or how to feel about this and wanted to get some advice. I dropped my son off at nursery this morning and to my surprise found out one of my friends sisters is on placement there. She was sitting playing with the kids when i arrived. Now i know that this shouldn't make any difference at all, but she quit her stripping job last month and i knew she was going back to college to study chilcare but i certainly didn't expect her to be looking after my son I know being a stripper doesn't make her a bad person but it keeps playing on my mind!!! My worry is she isn't a very child orientated person and she's certainly not someone i would of ever left Alfie with for her to babysit him or anything, she's a bit of a flake and wouldn't trust her. What do i do if anything? Would you have a word with the nursery?! Or is it not my place?

I just dunno what to do cos i LOVE his nursery and they look after him so well

i think it would be a terrible thing for u to do if u told the nursery.
because she was a stripper does not make her a bad person... at all.
i have 2 friends that work as strippers... they do it because they make amazin money! so for this woman to give up earnin amazin money to do childcare obviously means that this is what she wants to do with her life.
nd for u to put that in jeopardy is extremely small minded nd unfair on the woman.

I know it shouldn't make a difference but something is niggling at me, its not even so much that she used to strip, like i said it doesn't make her a bad person, i think its just cos i know what type of person is which is not a good one unfortunately no matter what she does, i'm just conscious that i know what she gets up to on a weekend and that can sometimes include drug taking which quite upsets me as i don't want someone who even dabbles in drugs to be looking after my son.

She didn't give up stripping to do childcare she gave it up for other reasons

I don't think its small minded of me i just think i have a genuine concern for my son.

putting aside the fact that she worked as a stripper, i believe that if you feel uncomfortable because of the way she relates to children or not child orientated then i would be having a word with the nursery. they have a legal duty of care to make sure their students and volunteers are monitored and observed whilst they learn so i;m sure there won't be a problem. i work in a nursery and we have students regularly, tbh, a parent complained about one of them (who was absolutley useless) and she was taken out of our setting. i think if you're happy to wait and see if you feel differently that can also be a good idea, but i really think that a good nursery relies on the parental relationship with th nursery and that you feel you can comment on the care your child recieves.

i wouldnt say or do anything, as you have just said you like his nursery and they look after him well there, and this girl is obviously trying to get away from what she used to do stripping is just a way of quick money and alot of girls will do it if they can, but looks like childcare is what she's most interested in.
Everyone deserves a chance and being a stripper doesnt mean your a bad person
xx

i think i would perhaps feel a little bit the same but then like you say just because she worked as a stripper doesnt mean shes uncapable of taking care of a child. excuse my way of putting this but thats a bit like saying if you are into a bit of kinky stuff in the bedroom then are u really the sort of person who should be a parent end of the day you shouldnt feel the need to worry about your childs care as there is other staff there to and the fact that she once stripped for a living isnt going to make a difference on the quality of care your son gets while he is at nursery x

Please don't think i'm saying she's a bad person cos she's stripped, maybe i should of left that bit out, it was the kind of stripping she did i suppose which ADDED to everything else

I shoulda worded it better sorry

its not small minded of u to be concerned for ur son.
BUT if u have a personal problem with this woman lookin after ur son... then thats ur problem.
what this woman does in her own time has got nothin to do with anyone else... as long as she is doin her job correctly.
if she wasn't doin her job correctly then by all means she should be removed from her position of care.
this is a personal problem u have... nd back to ur op... i don't think its ur place to say anythin.

i think everyone deserves a chance. makes you think what is the background of ANYONE watching your child at nursery. if you didn't know her past job, you might never ever know anything about her and carry on thinking the nursery was amazing. if anything, maybe do an anonymous tip but still it isn't very fair. i was never a stripper or anything like that but i know for a fact that there are things i don't want people to know about my past. but that doesn't make me any less of a person or incapable of being an amazing mother!!!

xoxo

Ok, so we've established that being a stripper doesn't mean you can't take care of children. But if she's doing drugs on the weekend, and she's a "flake" and someone you wouldn't trust with your own child, then I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to risk my child being placed in her care, even if there are other capable caretakers there. It only takes one incompetent adult for something to happen to your child. Now I'm not saying she is incompetent, or anything, but if you feel she really is then you have to say something...I don't care if the person was my good friend or my sisters friend, if I REALLY felt that they might use poor judgement or allow some harm to come to my child regardless of prior profession or not, there's no way I could keep my mouth shut. Now I know you've already said that stripping doesn't make her a bad person. But if that isn't part of the issue, then it shouldn't have been mentioned and it shouldn't be part of the equation, sounds like you're brain is telling you one thing, but your heart/gut/instincts are telling you something else. My biggest concern, is that she does drugs on the weekend and is taking care of children, is a "flake", and can't be trusted. Those reasons, especially the drugs on the weekend, is not the kind of judgement I would trust in someone looking after my child. That's just me though. I think you have to make this decision for yourself ultimately. Maybe you could observe her with children for a while before you make your decision, and confirm that she is doing drugs before going to her employer. Whatever you decide just make sure that's what you want to do before you proceed.