So since I was about 32 weeks (probably before) I have wished my pregnancy to end so that I had my little boy.

A friend of mine was due 2 days before me and lately we have been discussing how to speed things up, deep down I know nothing will work, what will be will definitely be.

As she found out.

Last night she went into labour, progressing very nicely, and gave birth at 6.21 this morning to a little boy, 7lbs 3oz.

Since she was 30 weeks she knew his feet were going to be crooked so was prepared for that but she wasn't prepared for him to have half an arm and the skin on his back to not be fully formed.

He has been in neonatal since he was born. I obviously hope he is ok.

I keep reassuring her that his future isn't going to be hindered!!

Anybody been in a similar situation that could offer advice for me to pass on as she is obviously very upset and scared!!

No advice to offer but didnt want to R&R. What a sad situation, how come scans didnt show up such obvious problems? Not having time to adjust or come to terms with her sons conditions must be awful
I hope hes ok & that she finds strength! So sad so close to Christmas!
xx

Gosh that is awful. I dont have much advice on the particular situation. My son has cerebral palsy and MCADD (metabolic condition). This was diagnosed in small bite size doses and was not wham bam here you go this is what is wrong with your child.
From the experience that I had is the fact that your friend will be greiving for the perfect child she had in her mind all the way through her pregnancy. And also will be in limbo as to what she is to expect from her child in the future.
When my son who is 6 now was growing up and not hitting milestones it was devestating and wondering at 2 if he would speak, etc. Now he is 6 talks non stop yes he uses a wheelchair and a walking frame but his personality and determination will carry him on in life. He attends mainstream school as he is not affected academically only physically. But I suspect your friend will definatley be going through a period of grieving (I know this sounds awful but this is how I describe it).
Here is a poem that when you friend is ready to read really gave me help and perfectly described my situation:-

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

that is so touching.

OP, sending so much love and luck to your friend and her special little boy. i truly hope he's ok.

DanielleMitch, that is beautiful. Thank you so much, I will be sure to pass that on. Hopefully it will offer her some comfort!

So sorry for your friend. I hope her son is doing well.

Also congratulations to her xx

didn't want to R&R. my thoughts are with you, your friend and her family.

You just brought tears to my eyes. That is beautiful. Xxx

Whale, please don't let this worry you about your baby as most babies are born completely fine. I am just wondering why the baby had the crooked feet diagnosed but the arm was completely overlooked. Your friend will obviously want answers to these questions at some point.Hospitals will never admit liability so you never get a truely straight answer out of them. xx

Don't want to R&R, how awful for your friend, baby and family.

I am sure there are things that they'll be able to do to help him. I remember meeting a girl (my school friends cousin when she was about 10) with half an arm missing. We went swimming together and nobody warned me about it, mainly because the family no longer though about it. The girl was more than capable at racing me up the swimming pool.

Hope that brings your friend a wee bit of comfort to know that her baby might be able to do some normal things and that girls family seemed to forget her disability and think about what she could do.