A friend of mine got pregnant at the same time I did. Our due dates were only a couple days apart. At 6 weeks she miscarried. Since then she has miscarried 2 more times. She has a toddler but she has been ready for another one since he was only a few weeks old. I felt awful when she first miscarried, how she must feel knowing that my LO would be the same age as her little angel. Now that it has happened 3 times total just in the past few months I feel terrible! I wish I could say something to her, but I know all I can do is listen. She is seeing a specialist and they are looking at the issue but I just feel so terrible and have been trying not to talk to her about the whole pregnancy, nursery, and getting ready for a LO details unless she asks.
Didn't want to read and run hun but that's so sad. I think all you can do is listen to her and talk about it when she is ready but I'm sure when your baby arrives she will still be really excited to meet him
I was in your friend's situation last year. My cousin and I fell pregnant within a few weeks of each other: I miscarried identical twins at 9-ish weeks and she went on to have a gorgeous little boy. I later went on to have another miscarriage before falling pregnant with this one.
In between my miscarriages and falling pregnant with this one, it was really difficult to be around her. It wasn't because she was growing and I wasn't, but because of how other people reacted towards me. We went out for a family meal around her 20 weeks scan and she brought the picture with her to show everyone (which I was happy about because although it was hard for me, she had every right to show off her little one). When the picture came around to me, everyone was looking at me for a reaction, they didn't mean to, but they did. That's what made me feel worse. I would rather things had just been normal, not to have people walk on eggshells around me.
Over time, I have found that I no longer feel jealous of my cousin having her baby and me losing mine. To be honest, I think most of that is down to me being pregnant now, it must be very difficult for your friend when she cannot stay pregnant.
Just realise that she won't want you to feel bad about your pregnancy, but just be sensitive around her. If my cousin hadn't brought the 20 week picture, or had avoided talking to me about the pregnancy at all, it would've been worse because I would have felt guilty. Try speaking to her, you'll probably find that she might want someone to talk to
It's nice to hear that she has such a thoughtful and caring friend xx
I had this with my BF we both found out and there was about a week difference in our due dates i'm now 9 days away from mine. When she first mis carried it was awful but i was there for her as I would have been if I hadn't been pregnant and she was still delighted for me and we just made a pact to be honest with how we felt and its been great. She has since had another mis carriage but is now pregnant and has just found out she's having a boy and all is well. I don't think your friend will want you to be upset or afraid of being happy for your LO and she will be as excited to meet your LO when it comes along x
Awww im sorry hun one of my friends got pregnant 3 months after me - we were both delighted and thought we could be bump buddies! then on FB she started making strange status updates...
I questioned her and she was like its nothing serious etc, then one day i was talking to my other friend (her hubby) and i was like how's bump growing etc etc and he went quiet and he said to me that she miscarried at 20 weeks
I felt so awful as before i asked i kept going on bout my bump and how i was so excited, we went out a few times but she said she would like to try again, sometimes it can be akward and i dont know what to say but i would never wish it upon my worst enemy
It can be awkward; I MC last year at 6.4 weeks before this pregnancy and while I was in the hospital, one of the nurses was about to have a baby!! It was so hard to cope with while I was going through a really awful time, as I had seen the heartbeat before MC so i knew it was alive in there... I found it really hard, but I got through it... just try and be as normal as you can without offence is all I would advise.. xx
It is really hard. A good friend got pregnant about 2 weeks after me but we were guessing we'd go around the same time or her earlier because she found out she was having twins. We were so excited to be pregnant together and talking all the time about our pregnancies (and I was sooo jealous of her because her pregnancy was without complications i.e., morning sickness, aches, etc) and then at 20 weeks she went into premature labor and lost both babies. It was/is devastating and my heart absolutely broke for her. This was her first pregnancy as well. Its pretty awkward now. I want nothing more than to be there to support her and I text and call at least once a week and she tries to be upbeat and ask questions about how I'm feeling and my baby shower, etc but her mom also talks to me and tells me how she doesn't want her sadness to bring me down at such a happy time in my life, etc. All I can do is keep offering support to her and be sensitive. I worry all the time about saying or doing the wrong thing...I don't know what the right thing is except to be there for her and hope she conceives again soon. Not that it'll erase the sadness but willl give her something happy to think about. Hope this helped a little bit..just be there for your friend and keep the lines of communication open.
I have a friend in a similar situation to yours. As others have said, its not easy (for either of you) but being really open and honest about how you're feeling feels like the best way to go. Even if its just to say you don't know what to say. Its all a bit crap really.
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