The fiancee of one of my husband's friend's suffers from PND and has done since her LO was born last year.
She gets paranoid and decides everyone is against, mostly about her DP and his family. At her lowest she thought of suicide and taking her LO with her.
She is now on 2 different types of antidepressants but has thrown her DP out twice in the last 6 months. They are currently separated and have been for a few weeks. It all comes down to her depression, she sent me a lengthy message about what was going on and he hasn't done anything wrong. None of her friends and family think she's split with him for a real reason - just because her head is all over the place. He goes out with her and LO as a family and they have a nice time, she decides to get back with him then the following day it's back to square one.
She currently has their 11 month LO, She is also drinking a litre bottle of wine every night. If her DP suggests she not drink (as did I on FB) then she starts talking about suicide again. Everyone is worried about her and about LO but she's so fragile it's hard to get the message across.
Her doctor won't speak to DP as they are no longer together.
She has a load of people off a forum egging her on on FB as they obviously don't know the full story and they all chip in bad mouthing her DP when he's innocent in all this.
Is there anything we can do/ her DP can do to get her help. ATM he's trying to convince her to move in with her parents with LO for a little while in hopes that her Mum will be able to help her see sense and get help. Trouble is she isn't easy to reason with.
Her mum really needs to a, speak to her daughters dr, or b, get her sectioned. Dr's are reluctant to section people now unless there is enough proof that she is unstable, I had severe PND with both my sons and self harmed my way through it, I was also extremely suicidal. Only difference was I knew I had a problem and sought help, it's a little harder when the person can't see that the way they are behaving is not normal.
All her DP can do is alert someone as to her situation, to make sure her LO is safe, PND doesn't mean she is a bad mother by any means and that will be taken into account, but right now she's not in the right frame of mind to sufficiently care for her LO, emotional demons are aweful, and can make you do some pretty weird/abnormal things.
Her Dr not speaking to her DP is fair enough as anything she says to her Dr is confidential, but at the same time her DP is obviously worried for her well being/safety and that of their LO, he needs to alert someone to her behaviour. As harsh as he may feel she'll thank him in the long run.
Does her DP ever have their LO overnight? Or will she not let him? As far as that goes he can get help with that, I know you say he wants her and his family back he needs to take action now, or things could end badly.
I really hope she gets the help she obviously so desperately needs. All her family can do is be there for her and make sure she's not left alone for long periods of time. PND is a bitch to come out of, especially if there was previous depression beforehand. I still suffer mildly from it 6 years after my sons birth.
Unfortunately Dr's will not do anything now unless their patient or a family member pleads with them for their own safety, and in this case it's not going to be her, so someone needs to do it for her, for her own good.
It's good that she's on antidepressents, but at the same time they're obviously not doing anything, OR she's not taking them. How long has she been on them? As in the beginning I'm sure you're aware they can make you feel 100x's worse. x
She's been on them for months, no he doesn't get his ds overnighot as she thinks his parents are evil and thats where he is staying. Would her mum have to speak to her doctors then? It's an awful situation she doesn't trust anyone so won't take peoples help.
It's hard to know how much is pnd and how much is for attention/ cry for help.as she gets drunk every night and complains about her dp on Facebook. Only people she doesn't really know reply....]
ETA although her parents realise it's her depression they haven't been doing anything to help, he thinks if she sees a doctor she'll just say she's not drinking
What about social services or the health visitor and get at the gp from that route. I feel for this lady, but a, concerned about the child and their welfare. It may have to come to a tough call where daddy takes baby whilst mummy goes for treatment, (sectioned) but the health professionals need to be aware. Letters should be written to the GP and social services from her mother and father. Once in writing they have to action something, whereas with talking there is not such an accurate record..good luck
I couldnt just R&R and I must say its lovely how much you obviously care for this lady and her family.
Taken the anti-d's and drinking too is madness and I wish I had the answers for you, sadly I dont.
The ladies OH must be a great man to be doing his best for them both but I think it will come down to him having to take the child for its own safety while mum is looked after. Being sectioned doesnt mean she's a nutter (which many people presume) rather she needs more help than she can give herself.
I hope they work something out, please keep us updated with things. And I hope for a happy outcome.
http://www.joebingleymemorialfoundation.org.uk/ I dont know if this will be of any help. Its a very sad story but the ladies husband has set up a support group and places to go for those who need it after he lost his wife and felt they got no help from the medical profession as it is a taboo subject. He was on This Morning the other day.
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