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Old Oct 27th, 2011, 15:28 PM   31
Quackquack99
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I can understand where you are coming from, I suffer from vaginismus so I involutarily contract my muscles down below especially if fingers are placed there. It really is awful. I specifically stated that I'd like an examination on arrival so that I know if I am in established labour. Thank god I did as it turned out my baby's feet were going to come out first. The midwives and doctors respected my wishes. Be firm and good luck



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Old Oct 27th, 2011, 15:41 PM   32
lesbianlove
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im aso having a homebirth and refusing all ve's unless an emergency situation, and my mw is fine with that, as long as its on my birth plan, and as for the whole how many c's u r crap, even if u research it theres plenty of ways a mw can see how ur doing in labour without having to do an internal to check, i just find them putting u in uneccesary pain to satisfy there need to know, with my second i was too quick for them to shove the fingers up me in labour, and after he was born i refused and refused a ve to check for stitches as i wasnt bleeding heavily and u could clearly see a slight graze on the outside, i was holding my baby when she went ahead and done it, and i felt completly violated and jumped out my skin with the shock of it, i didnt know anyhing about suing them so i didnt bother but my mw this time deffo knows wot had happened and knows exactly where i stand with them jsut be calm and know what yo want x



 
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Old Oct 27th, 2011, 16:07 PM   33
catcatcat
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God its awful wish there was another place for babies to come out. :/



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Old Oct 27th, 2011, 16:26 PM   34
Miss Duke
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It is up to you and she cannot make you.

However I just want to respond to a few other posters. MW's do VE's for various reasons - and its not for their own sake as a poster above suggests! Its within NICE guidelines to do it every 4 hours or so to ensure there is progress, as they believe that failure to progress can threaten the health of the baby. They are not just checking dilation either, but also the position of the baby - they can tell from feeling the fontanelles on babies head which way round it is, and if the heads in the right position within the pelvis.

Theres plenty of research to back up why you should be in established labour before entering the pool, this is standard pracice, but you have plenty of time to research this yourself. TBH you will prob have a fair idea yourself if you listen to your body, that your labour is established.

There are many ways a mw can assess your progress without a VE and a good mw should be able and willing to do so!

Its totally your call and quite acceptable and normal, and there are many many good reasons for not having any VE's! I just wanted to offer some justification as to why they are routinely used, rightly or wrongly! Its a topic that carries a lot of controversy as theres research to back up both sides of the argument - some feel they are benficial, others feel they are an unnecessary intervention.



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Old Oct 27th, 2011, 16:31 PM   35
Miss Duke
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I meant to add you need to discuss this with your mum and oh... they are at the birth to support you and be your voice, you need them on your side. If they cannot do this for you, you may wish to seriously consider geting a doula xxx



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Old Oct 27th, 2011, 16:46 PM   36
ashlee23
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she cant make u have VEs hun but she can refuse to continue as ur midwife and it may compromise your home water birth. without the use of medical equipment to monitor baby like in hospital the midwife is relying on VEs to confirm the labour is progressing healthily. she also cannot call another midwife until you are in the later stages of labour, none of which you can tell otherwise. i can understand ur position (its partly due circumstances relating to VEs that im having a c-section) but i can also understand hers, it will be alot harder for her to ensure your baby is coping with labour if ur adamant no VEs AND home water birth xxx



 
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Old Oct 28th, 2011, 04:01 AM   37
ShireLass
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They will be using a doppler periodically to check babies heartbeat to make sure it's not in distress, so VEs won't be the only way to check baby is ok.

I found something online that said they can also see how dilated you are by seeing how many fingers fit between the bottom of the breastbone and the top of the uterus, http://womantowomancbe.wordpress.com...-vaginal-exam/

This lists external signs of established labour: http://sarahvine.wordpress.com/2010/...internal-exam/

This one is a bit of discussion both ways and has instructions on how to check your own cervix http://www.dare-to-give-birth-natura...inal-exam.html



 
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Old Oct 28th, 2011, 04:46 AM   38
ProudMum
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clownfish View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by fairykate View Post
But how will you know how far dilated you are?
Your body will tell you when you are ready to push... You do.t need a midwifes fingers to tell you..

And besides... Do you really think the 10cm rule is real? It's just a number someone made up to suit orchestrated labour.

I'll agree to an initial one... And then no more unless baby is in distress and they need to check incase he's stuck etc...
I do believe the 10cm rule is necessary and I do think VE are also there for a reason (only when in labour though) and the reason for this is because when I was 8 cm dilated with my son I started invoulentary pushing- had they not done the VE and discovered I wasnt ready, the situation could have turned a whole lot worse than it did- I tore my cervix, had fresh blood pouring out my vagina, my baby was in distress and I needed oxygen.

Had I been left to push and followed my bodys 'instructions' without examination... god knows what would have happened.
I am one of those people who would happily refuse a test unless its an emergency situation (i have with blood tests) but I dont think Id refuse a VE during labour for the reason stated above.
I thought I was going to die when my labour took an unexpected turn.. I wouldnt wish that fear on anyone....



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Old Oct 28th, 2011, 05:04 AM   39
tanni78
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that's absolutely ridiculous, who does she think she is, god? Pregnant or not, your body is your body and no-one can force you to do anything you don't want. She's lucky she isn't my midwife cos i'd have given her a right mouthful lol xx



 
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Old Oct 28th, 2011, 05:14 AM   40
mummy2be2012
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just be strong and tell her i said no. they cant make you have them xx



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