Mattress issue with in laws!!

Jennifurball · Feb 26th, 2012, 01:51 AM

What a pickle I am in.

They overheard me telling OH all I need him to buy her is a play gym and a cot bed mattress because I can't use my nephews - so they said OH's cousin is giving his away (2 kids have been on it!) and said I can have theirs. If I am going to turn down my own nephew's mattress then doesn't that tell them something?! I NEED NEW!!

Also, his mum is buying a second hand travel cot from a colleague for when Scarlett stays, OH's brother's baby will also be using it, I just can't cope with this and don't know what to say?!! I can't say she is not sleeping in that. I also don't want her sharing with another baby who also comes from a house with a dog.

Argh! I am so worried they are risking SIDS. The cot bed thing isn't an issue really, I will get brand new and just throw the other one away but the travel cot thing is worrying me so much because obviously they are gong to want her to stay over a bit because me and OH don't live together and won't for at least the first year.

lalitas charm · Feb 26th, 2012, 02:01 AM

I don't really know how travel cots work, do they have a removable mattress? Could you buy a new one for it and just take it with you when you were visiting? Are you going to use a moses basket for the 1st few months? if you did then you could take it with you and just say she sleeps best in it so you are dodging that bullet for a while.

I do completely understand though, I wouldn't like to risk the cot mattresses, it is funny when you tell someone that you are refusing a 2nd hand item and then they get you an alternative 2nd hand one which still wont be suitable.

Loui1001 · Feb 26th, 2012, 02:09 AM

Could you buy your own travel cot and leave it with them for when your LO stays? Asda have one for £25

Jennifurball · Feb 26th, 2012, 02:10 AM

LOL I know, would they sleep on a 2nd hand mattress? I think not!

I have been quite lucky so far escaping crap hand me downs lol. I am rubbish at confrontation!

Yes I could use the moses basket excuse for a while. To be honest though, she needs a routine and I don't want her travelling from house to house, they will have to come and see us. I don't want to put myself out so people can see my child. I won't be leaving her to go out anyway so she doesn't need to sleep over.

On day visits, she can sleep in the car set, it has a foot muff so she will be all snuggly lol.

Edit: I did bring them a cot for her but they said it was too big and she said leave it with me, I honestly thought she was going to buy new.

Now she has told me, I won't really be able to get away with buying more.

BTW I used to have that glow worm when I was little, was my fave toy EVER!!

Jin · Feb 26th, 2012, 04:09 AM

Can you print something off of the internet about SIDS explaining why it is so important to only use a brand new matress, and that although you apreciate them trying to help you just really don't want to take the risk. At the end of the day you are the mother and they have to respect your decisions and choices. Good luck.

Lisa_84 · Feb 26th, 2012, 04:22 AM

I'd suggest buying your own travel crib specifically for your baby to use. For all mums - I was told not to let my baby nap in their car seat, or anywhere they're not flat on their backs, for the first 6 months. So when they're in the stroller you should have a bassinet-type setup. This is apparently to ensure their spine develops correctly and not on a curve.

I did a quick google and also came up with this article about reduced oxygen levels in babies who nap in car seats: http://www.parentdish.com/2009/09/05...ts-study-says/

nautegesocks · Feb 26th, 2012, 04:53 AM

I have yet to raise this issue with the in laws they too have been given a second hand cot i dont plan on letting my baby girl spend the night away from me for a few years at least my mum has agreed if me and oh want to go out she will come to ours to babysit if they are not willing to do that then they wont be babysitting if me and oh want to go out for a nice meal or a few drinks with freinds i still want to come home to my beautiful girl and wake up to her in the morning by the time im comftable enough to leave her over night she wont be in a cot anymore and if i want to put her down for a nap wilst shes there she can sleep in buggy or car seat (i have one that reclines so baby lays flat) if they want her in the cot they can buy a new mattress and a baby monitor as we live in a studio flat so wont have one to take we also have a huge wicker crib that can last upto 9 months so until shes in a big cot at ours she wont be going in one anywear else think ima just buy a mini travel crib

lalitas charm · Feb 26th, 2012, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa_84

I'd suggest buying your own travel crib specifically for your baby to use. For all mums - I was told not to let my baby nap in their car seat, or anywhere they're not flat on their backs, for the first 6 months. So when they're in the stroller you should have a bassinet-type setup. This is apparently to ensure their spine develops correctly and not on a curve.

I did a quick google and also came up with this article about reduced oxygen levels in babies who nap in car seats: http://www.parentdish.com/2009/09/05...ts-study-says/

I have been told this as well. Baby shouldn't be in their car seat for more than 120mins per day accumulated not at a time as it can interfere with how their spines develop, it makes perfect sense when you think about it.

Siuan · Feb 26th, 2012, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lalitas charm

I have been told this as well. Baby shouldn't be in their car seat for more than 120mins per day accumulated not at a time as it can interfere with how their spines develop, it makes perfect sense when you think about it.

This does make perfect sense - but I completely don't get it. What exactly are we supposed to do for long car journeys for example? What if your parents live more than 2 hours away from home? Sometimes guidelines are just guidelines... you have to do what you can to conform, but take calculated and guided risks too...

(Not getting at you, it's just something I've come across before, I cannot get my head around)

Lollipopbop · Feb 26th, 2012, 07:56 AM

With the mattress thing I would say thanks but no thanks! With the travel cot - Just bring yours whenever she stays over there and say she sleeps well in that one and if they don't buy that then you'll just have to be honest and say it makes you uncomfortable with the risk of SIDS etc. My OH's SIL keeps insisting we take her moses basket for when our LO is born cos her baby will be grown out of it by then but I'm having to come up with an excuse because they are smokers and even their LO smells of smoke so I would never be comfortable with our baby sleeping in it. It's nice of them to offer but I'm just going to have to come up with something!

Feb 26th, 2012, 01:51 AM	#1
Jennifurball Other BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: UK Posts: 4,199	Mattress issue with in laws!! What a pickle I am in. They overheard me telling OH all I need him to buy her is a play gym and a cot bed mattress because I can't use my nephews - so they said OH's cousin is giving his away (2 kids have been on it!) and said I can have theirs. If I am going to turn down my own nephew's mattress then doesn't that tell them something?! I NEED NEW!! Also, his mum is buying a second hand travel cot from a colleague for when Scarlett stays, OH's brother's baby will also be using it, I just can't cope with this and don't know what to say?!! I can't say she is not sleeping in that. I also don't want her sharing with another baby who also comes from a house with a dog. Argh! I am so worried they are risking SIDS. The cot bed thing isn't an issue really, I will get brand new and just throw the other one away but the travel cot thing is worrying me so much because obviously they are gong to want her to stay over a bit because me and OH don't live together and won't for at least the first year.

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Feb 26th, 2012, 02:01 AM	#2
lalitas charm Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 3,785	I don't really know how travel cots work, do they have a removable mattress? Could you buy a new one for it and just take it with you when you were visiting? Are you going to use a moses basket for the 1st few months? if you did then you could take it with you and just say she sleeps best in it so you are dodging that bullet for a while. I do completely understand though, I wouldn't like to risk the cot mattresses, it is funny when you tell someone that you are refusing a 2nd hand item and then they get you an alternative 2nd hand one which still wont be suitable.

Status: Offline

Feb 26th, 2012, 02:09 AM	#3
Loui1001 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: UK Posts: 2,775	Could you buy your own travel cot and leave it with them for when your LO stays? Asda have one for £25

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Feb 26th, 2012, 02:10 AM	#4
Jennifurball Other BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: UK Posts: 4,199	LOL I know, would they sleep on a 2nd hand mattress? I think not! I have been quite lucky so far escaping crap hand me downs lol. I am rubbish at confrontation! Yes I could use the moses basket excuse for a while. To be honest though, she needs a routine and I don't want her travelling from house to house, they will have to come and see us. I don't want to put myself out so people can see my child. I won't be leaving her to go out anyway so she doesn't need to sleep over. On day visits, she can sleep in the car set, it has a foot muff so she will be all snuggly lol. Edit: I did bring them a cot for her but they said it was too big and she said leave it with me, I honestly thought she was going to buy new. Now she has told me, I won't really be able to get away with buying more. BTW I used to have that glow worm when I was little, was my fave toy EVER!!

Status: Offline

Feb 26th, 2012, 04:09 AM	#5
Jin Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: South England Posts: 526	Can you print something off of the internet about SIDS explaining why it is so important to only use a brand new matress, and that although you apreciate them trying to help you just really don't want to take the risk. At the end of the day you are the mother and they have to respect your decisions and choices. Good luck.

Status: Offline

Feb 26th, 2012, 04:22 AM	#6
Lisa_84 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 736	I'd suggest buying your own travel crib specifically for your baby to use. For all mums - I was told not to let my baby nap in their car seat, or anywhere they're not flat on their backs, for the first 6 months. So when they're in the stroller you should have a bassinet-type setup. This is apparently to ensure their spine develops correctly and not on a curve. I did a quick google and also came up with this article about reduced oxygen levels in babies who nap in car seats: http://www.parentdish.com/2009/09/05...ts-study-says/

Status: Offline

Feb 26th, 2012, 04:53 AM	#7
nautegesocks Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: brighton , england Posts: 422	I have yet to raise this issue with the in laws they too have been given a second hand cot i dont plan on letting my baby girl spend the night away from me for a few years at least my mum has agreed if me and oh want to go out she will come to ours to babysit if they are not willing to do that then they wont be babysitting if me and oh want to go out for a nice meal or a few drinks with freinds i still want to come home to my beautiful girl and wake up to her in the morning by the time im comftable enough to leave her over night she wont be in a cot anymore and if i want to put her down for a nap wilst shes there she can sleep in buggy or car seat (i have one that reclines so baby lays flat) if they want her in the cot they can buy a new mattress and a baby monitor as we live in a studio flat so wont have one to take we also have a huge wicker crib that can last upto 9 months so until shes in a big cot at ours she wont be going in one anywear else think ima just buy a mini travel crib

Status: Offline

Feb 26th, 2012, 07:56 AM	#10
Lollipopbop Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: East Sussex Posts: 2,916	With the mattress thing I would say thanks but no thanks! With the travel cot - Just bring yours whenever she stays over there and say she sleeps well in that one and if they don't buy that then you'll just have to be honest and say it makes you uncomfortable with the risk of SIDS etc. My OH's SIL keeps insisting we take her moses basket for when our LO is born cos her baby will be grown out of it by then but I'm having to come up with an excuse because they are smokers and even their LO smells of smoke so I would never be comfortable with our baby sleeping in it. It's nice of them to offer but I'm just going to have to come up with something!

Status: Offline

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