....

ok is she going to be in the delivery room with you? If not then you really don;t need to discuss your pain relief methods with her. I find a "well we'll see when it happens" usually shuts people it because you aren;t disagreeing nor agreeing with them. If she will be in the delivery suite with you make sure it;s very clear in your birth plan what you want - although the midwives won't listen to her anyway. You are certainly not a wuss and if you choose to go pain relief free that's your choice but it is not a competition and what do you gain by goin pain relief free if you don;t want to. Your mum was lucky - I too had horrific morning sickness - every woman is different.

The prob with the baby shower I guess is if she is organising it she will do it when she pleases - which is not right. is there anyway you can ask if 35 weeks would suit her. I am 37 weeks and now I am getting up really late, I am very tired all of the time - I wouldn;t fancy doing a baby shower now.

Oh rant away! I love my mother dearly, in fact she's one of my best friends, but she just expects that I will be doing everything the same as she did.

Whenever I mention that I will be breastfeeding (hopefully!) she looks at me like there's no way I'll be able to do it (because she couldn't for her first and didn't try for the next 3) and when I say that I would like to try and labour as pain-relief free as possible, she basically says "oh you won't be able to handle it, that's what epidurals are for". Ok, that's fine, but if I do end up having an epidural it will be my decision, not hers. I know what I want, just cause it's not the way she did things she seems to think I won't be able to achieve it!!!
Some mums just like to re-live their younger years through their daughters, good luck with her! (I haven't got much advice sadly, I

Oh rant away! I love my mother dearly, in fact she's one of my best friends, but she just expects that I will be doing everything the same as she did.

Whenever I mention that I will be breastfeeding (hopefully!) she looks at me like there's no way I'll be able to do it (because she couldn't for her first and didn't try for the next 3) and when I say that I would like to try and labour as pain-relief free as possible, she basically says "oh you won't be able to handle it, that's what epidurals are for". Ok, that's fine, but if I do end up having an epidural it will be my decision, not hers. I know what I want, just cause it's not the way she did things she seems to think I won't be able to achieve it!!!
Some mums just like to re-live their younger years through their daughters, good luck with her! (I haven't got much advice sadly, I

uugghhhhh. I feel for you. I totally get your point of not wanting the shower when your 37 weeks. It took me like 4 days to put everything away from my shower at 32 weeks and I had 4 days off of work. Plus if you still need to get stuff you have to go out shopping... not sure why she's not being supportive of your wishes.

No matter how crappy I feel I tell people I feel fine. That way you can just deal with it and not have people telling you why you shouldn't feel that way. Every pregnancy is different, some people just don't get that. My 1st was easy this one I feel like she is sucking the life out of me....

Aww I'm sorry to hear that Can't really change the way your mom behaves but we are here to listen if you needed to rant!

Aw! Dont you hate how people love to stress us out. It seems in all the excitement our mothers forget how stressful having a baby really is. My mother scheduled my baby shower on superbowl sunday which was the most convenient day for her... so most of my friends didnt even come bc they had other parties to attend. I was 38 weeks. I managed to get along just fine however at that point i was barely sleeping so i was pretty tired and grumpy afterwards. My friends had wanted to hang out after the party, whcih they did but i was a grump the whole time. .. not my cup of tea!
Convince hubby that you should be prepared before they shower since most times you dont get the things you really NEED and most gifts come with gift recepts anyway so you can always return them. You could even let your friends know that since it will be at such a late time in the pregnancy you'd prefer gift cards verses cute things (i cant tell you how many cute things we got, like reciving blankets, and onsies.. we had to buy nearly everything we actually needed on the registry bc noone used it!) they likely wont listen bc people want to buy onsies, but its worth saying.

Your mom sounds a bit like mine. I had to ignore much of what she said.. or tell her strait up as you had. However my pregnancy was a breeze (i dont mean to brag) and it was easy being compared to because i didnt have as much trouble as she did lol (i can still shave everywhere!). They get so excited they remmenice on when they were pregnant with us and they want to share it with us. I can understand, however its difficult to deal with in the state we are in (hopefully we remmeber this when our daughters are pregnant?). Her telling you that you are a wuss for wanting an epidural is way out of line. Tell her while you dont know exactly how hard labor is you would rather do it with as little pain as you can since youd prefer to enjoy it. MOST women who did labor the natural way thought it was quite painful and i'm sure in the heat of the moment they wished they could get a break from that pain.

Hang in there it will be over soon enough and hopefully she will HELP when the baby is born instead of sit back and tell you how easy it was for her and that YOU should be a natural at running on zero sleep... and that YOU should be able to keep the house clean at the same time. I'm hoping my mom comes over and cleans for me.. or brings me food instead of comes over and just plays with the baby. I have a good feeling about her and my MIL who has shared with me how disappointed in how her mother "helped" when her baby was born... so i think she will be a pair of helpping hands.

Best of luck to you, and remember you are not alone!!

Thanks ladies, I am relieved I'm not the only one with a crazy mom...although I feel sorry for those of you who do too!... The funny thing is she is always saying how hard her mom made it on her when she had kids and how much she hated it, yet shes been doing the same thing to me since day 1 of finding out!

She will not be in the delivery room with me (which sparked another fight we have had!) She told me I can't take that right away from her (Its not her right and I can, and will.) & that she had her sister and her mom in with her and she doesn't even get along with her sister. I replied "well that was YOUR choice in YOUR labor, this is my choice in my labor." luckily one of her friends was there and told her its not her right and that her daughter wouldn't have it either.

My OH is dead against buying things until after the shower, he doesn't want to spend money on things if we don't need too.. I tried to talk to him and he said "well if you're not up to it, you can look online and I'll go buy what you want me to." (We have the money for everything we need if we don't get it) Its supposed to be a joyful time and Im so upset that Ill probably be to uncomfortable/miserable to enjoy it.

Hah, A lot of Moms do that i guess! Though my mom let me decide what date i wanted my baby shower and no one has changed it or tried to, thank goodness.

She tries to compare me to her too. like with chores! We have a big yard and we have to mow the grass.... Now i already had problems mowing the grass cause our lawnmower is so heavy and doesn't help push itself one bit! She tried telling me to go Mow the other day. I shot that down real quick and she like got this look on her face and said "Oh please, i used to do everything including mowing the grass when i was pregnant!" That wasn't the first time she said something like that either but i finally got annoyed enough and told her "I'm not you"

lol She didn't say anything after that and hasn't. But i guess she's thought about it cause now she's like 'Oh well i need you to help me clean but don't touch the chemicals!' aaah but at 30 weeks... chores are getting harder to do now =(


Good luck with your mom though

Do also keep in mind that women tend to forget the bad and remember the good over time. I have a hunch your mom might be fibbing about a few things although I'm sure she believes it!