OT-- YEt another Oh's Mom thread ( future MIL)sorry long rant just need to vent

I really thought things were finally heading in the right direction with her. Due to economic reasons ( I am a fulltime student) we have been staying with Oh's mom for the last year. When she first found out I was pregnant she flipped out cursing and refused to be involved with anything baby related. It was to the point where if you mentioned the Bean she would talk about the dog instead. It was really awkward and hurtful.
Fast forward a few months- We had my OH's aunt come stay with us also for a few months. She had terminal cancer ( breast, bone and stomach) and we helped get her healthy enough so she could make amends with her son before she passed. She passed away last month and although anticipated it was hard, and suddenly my future MIL started being generous about our Bean.
She bought us a travel system and picked up some cute baby socks and bibs and started to actually seem excited her grand daughter was coming soon.
Till yesterday--OH had some friends stop by unexpectedly to drop off some fishing stuff and our friend Lily was making small talk with Oh's mom about the baby and if she was excited. MIL popped of with " I figured my grandson would make me a great grandmother not yet another kid from my son" Lily and stood there dumbfounded. It went on from there about how she was disappointed it wasn't her grandson having a baby and that she didn't expect this but that she should have known better etc. I literally just stood there frozen. Than MIL made an excuse to go walk the dog. Lily pulled me aside as soon as she walked outside and told me that OH and I deserved to be treated better then that.
I was so upset when our friends left I didn't even take part in our family dinner last night ( Oh's son is visiting with his fiance for a few days). I made an excuse about not feeling well.
At least now I know how she really feels. I pulled a childish maneuver and removed her from Facebook because she has no reason to see me talk about Bean anymore. Should I have done it? prob not but I am done making excuses for her.

That's horrible.

But if that's the way she wants to be then don't waste any more of your time on her, just pass it off

It sounds like she'd planned your OH's life and unfortunately for her life isn't plannable! so she just sounds bitter about not getting what she wants!

Originally Posted by NewMummyTurne

That's horrible.

But if that's the way she wants to be then don't waste any more of your time on her, just pass it off

It sounds like she'd planned your OH's life and unfortunately for her life isn't plannable! so she just sounds bitter about not getting what she wants!

I just was so taken aback.. to tell complete strangers to her that she's disappointed in her son and I? It make me want to just pack and leave.. and if I could I would. My parents and I haven't spoken in years because of their nasty behaviour and I had really hoped his mom would warm up to the idea eventually because I've had no one but my OH to talk to, but I over estimated her " kindness"

If she doesn't want to be involved, it's truly her loss. What kind of grandmother isn't excited about a grandchild? I would be heartbroken as well. Is there any way you can get your OH to talk to about her behavior?

Personally I wouldn't pack and leave. I wouldn't do anything for her.... but only whats best for me and my baby.

I just had a 30 min sob session with my OH and told him exactly what I thought of what happened yesterday and he was upset about it as well. I didn't realize he had heard her. It is a shame that she's not excited about her grand daughter coming, for that matter her only grand daughter ( OH is an only child as well). I told him I don't want anything else from her because it seems like even the gifts that I thought were out of kindness come at a cost.. a cost i'm not willing to pay.
I haven't been able to drive anymore recently because I dont fit behind the wheel I'm too short to reach the pedals with the seat pushed back further , so my OH does all our driving. He did promise me that once the little one is safely here he will do everything he can to get us out of here and that the only thing he wants me to worry about it staying calm till Bean arrives He admits it's a tall order. I did inform him I do not want her to come to the hospital after Bean is born. In my opinion she's lost that right.

I really want to tell her " how dare you punish our unborn child because you think she's a mistake". When I first found out I was pregnant she tried to bring up the abortion topic and OH told her where to stuff it lol

Why don't you and your oh sit down and talk too her? maybe she is scared of being a grandmother at her age as grandparents do play big parts in grandchildren lives.

She may be scared?

From OP's first post it appears she's already a grandmother...Her OH has a son who is engaged. It sounds like MIL is just pissed because things aren't going the way she wanted them.....like having a great grandchild now...not another grandchild.

I wouldn't want to allow her to be there either...but I'd advise to be the bigger person and let her visit. Babies have an amazing way of getting even the most stubborn of asses to change their ways. If after that visit she's still the same way...then drop her.

Originally Posted by ssuchianlo

From OP's first post it appears she's already a grandmother...Her OH has a son who is engaged. It sounds like MIL is just pissed because things aren't going the way she wanted them.....like having a great grandchild now...not another grandchild.

I wouldn't want to allow her to be there either...but I'd advise to be the bigger person and let her visit. Babies have an amazing way of getting even the most stubborn of asses to change their ways. If after that visit she's still the same way...then drop her.

Ugh I know I have to be the bigger person and that I'm just so mad that I'm being " hateful" towards her but I just want to wring her neck lol

And you are correct about wanting to be a great grandmother and not a grandmother again. Yesterday she asked my Oh's son's fiance when she planned on having a little one and it took all I had not to cringe. Apparently they are seriously thinking about it. She's 24 a chain smoking pothead, who also likes to take xanax like it's candy and drinks too much. My Oh and I are too fond of her just because she and the son fight nonstop, unless she is high, then she is nice.
What irks me is if she found out today she was pregnant Oh's mom would be over the moon excited. For some reason she loves this girl. She even commented to her yesterday " you're the only grand daughter I'll ever have" to which I again had to shut my mouth. Sigh, she can be such a lovely woman, truly generous and sweet.. apparently she just hates me

Families are so bloody complicated.