How would you feel if your mother in law did this? - Page 4

pinkgem100 · Mar 13th, 2012, 07:24 AM

I think i would feel a bit of both, Mad that i never new they where entering in to my house without me knowing or my permission (more so, if her friend is also helping out) and going though my personal stuff. Happy and very greatful that she was helping out and as you said embarrased as i would be mortified that my house was a mess. i am not the neatest person but if someone is visiting, even just for a cup of tea i always give the house a good clean and tidy..

Least it saved you the time and effort though. so pt your feet up and relax... xx

Mummy Bean · Mar 13th, 2012, 07:37 AM

I think if it was just me MIL not so bad but as it was her friend as well...i would find it a bit odd...but i am all about personal space.

MIL did ring last week to tell me she taking some time of work to clean my house when my hubby finished decorating...which is lovely of her.

amyleigh89 · Mar 13th, 2012, 07:40 AM

We live next door to Oh's step mum and one day she came in and did all my housework. I went mad! I don't like people going through my things at all! x

dumbo1976 · Mar 13th, 2012, 08:11 AM

i think it was a lovely thing for her to do! ....ok the undies are a bit odd but it shows you that she cares!!!!

think Im gonna get a plum tree!!!!

loverguts · Mar 13th, 2012, 10:13 AM

I would be over the moon if my MIL did that for me!! I think it's a lovely gesture!

I can sort of understand that some people don't like the thought of a MIL looking around your house at all the mess and handling your dirty clothes, haha, but i would be more than happy for someone to tidy up for me

naitken · Mar 13th, 2012, 11:10 AM

JMO - I would thank MIL and let her know that although you appreciate what she did for you, that you felt uncomfortable with it. I might say to her that in future, know that you don't expect anything in return and that you are glad that she enjoyed the fruit. At the same time, I would talk to OH and tell him that never again is this to happen and that if she comes to him with an idea like this (in case she bothers to ask him) that he is to say no thank you.

I had this happen to me when I was in University during exam time. My house was a mess because I couldn't justify doing housework when I should have been last minute studying. I came home from an exam and my house was clean. When I found out that his mother had done it, I was so embarrassed that she felt the need to clean my house....

michellle1980 · Mar 13th, 2012, 11:13 AM

I think that's so rude to do without asking you. I'd be so angry. Even my own mum wouldn't just do it. She would offer but not just do.

Sew_Sweet · Mar 13th, 2012, 11:17 AM

I'd feel really odd if my MIL did that - but at the same time - right now I think I'd be grateful and just get over it really quickly lol.

Pocky · Mar 13th, 2012, 11:31 AM

I'd have a mixture of feelings as well. I'd feel a little like my personal space had been invaded (and be very embarrassed about the undies - i'm bad enough when my OH's mum does my washing, and I live with her!).

But best to remember that it was done with the best intentions and they were trying to make life easier for you. So even if you are feeling a little cross i'd probably keep that bit quiet and just say thankyou. Though i'd probably apologize (i'm a very apologetic person xD) for the undies and say you weren't expecting anyone to go round.

Zemlianika · Mar 13th, 2012, 11:38 AM

Whenever my mum in law is at my house she goes into my kitchen and cooks something, or wants to wash my dishes. I'm OCD with this pregnancy, no body touches my veggies or my dishes! Even back when I wasnt pregnant she would want to wash them. She does a horrible job and I see stuck on food on them and all kinds of spots on my silverware. I don't even use my dishwasher because it does the same thing she does! And I cook with disposable gloves! She tries to help me organize my stuff a few months ago, but I told her that only I know where and how I want it to be separated. So be pissed off at me. I have my reasons!

Mar 13th, 2012, 07:24 AM	#31
pinkgem100 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Preston, Lancs Posts: 897	I think i would feel a bit of both, Mad that i never new they where entering in to my house without me knowing or my permission (more so, if her friend is also helping out) and going though my personal stuff. Happy and very greatful that she was helping out and as you said embarrased as i would be mortified that my house was a mess. i am not the neatest person but if someone is visiting, even just for a cup of tea i always give the house a good clean and tidy.. Least it saved you the time and effort though. so pt your feet up and relax... xx

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Mar 13th, 2012, 07:37 AM	#32
Mummy Bean Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: South London Posts: 3,656	I think if it was just me MIL not so bad but as it was her friend as well...i would find it a bit odd...but i am all about personal space. MIL did ring last week to tell me she taking some time of work to clean my house when my hubby finished decorating...which is lovely of her.

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Mar 13th, 2012, 07:40 AM	#33
amyleigh89 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Kent, UK Posts: 523	We live next door to Oh's step mum and one day she came in and did all my housework. I went mad! I don't like people going through my things at all! x

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Mar 13th, 2012, 08:11 AM	#34
dumbo1976 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Romford, Essex Posts: 366	i think it was a lovely thing for her to do! ....ok the undies are a bit odd but it shows you that she cares!!!! think Im gonna get a plum tree!!!!

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Mar 13th, 2012, 10:13 AM	#35
loverguts Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Kent Posts: 2,158	I would be over the moon if my MIL did that for me!! I think it's a lovely gesture! I can sort of understand that some people don't like the thought of a MIL looking around your house at all the mess and handling your dirty clothes, haha, but i would be more than happy for someone to tidy up for me

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Mar 13th, 2012, 11:10 AM	#36
naitken Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 312	JMO - I would thank MIL and let her know that although you appreciate what she did for you, that you felt uncomfortable with it. I might say to her that in future, know that you don't expect anything in return and that you are glad that she enjoyed the fruit. At the same time, I would talk to OH and tell him that never again is this to happen and that if she comes to him with an idea like this (in case she bothers to ask him) that he is to say no thank you. I had this happen to me when I was in University during exam time. My house was a mess because I couldn't justify doing housework when I should have been last minute studying. I came home from an exam and my house was clean. When I found out that his mother had done it, I was so embarrassed that she felt the need to clean my house....

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Mar 13th, 2012, 11:13 AM	#37
michellle1980 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Devon Posts: 973	I think that's so rude to do without asking you. I'd be so angry. Even my own mum wouldn't just do it. She would offer but not just do.

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Mar 13th, 2012, 11:17 AM	#38
Sew_Sweet Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: USA Posts: 1,910	I'd feel really odd if my MIL did that - but at the same time - right now I think I'd be grateful and just get over it really quickly lol.

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Mar 13th, 2012, 11:31 AM	#39
Pocky Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Longfield, Kent (UK) Posts: 540	I'd have a mixture of feelings as well. I'd feel a little like my personal space had been invaded (and be very embarrassed about the undies - i'm bad enough when my OH's mum does my washing, and I live with her!). But best to remember that it was done with the best intentions and they were trying to make life easier for you. So even if you are feeling a little cross i'd probably keep that bit quiet and just say thankyou. Though i'd probably apologize (i'm a very apologetic person xD) for the undies and say you weren't expecting anyone to go round.

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Mar 13th, 2012, 11:38 AM	#40
Zemlianika Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 154	Whenever my mum in law is at my house she goes into my kitchen and cooks something, or wants to wash my dishes. I'm OCD with this pregnancy, no body touches my veggies or my dishes! Even back when I wasnt pregnant she would want to wash them. She does a horrible job and I see stuck on food on them and all kinds of spots on my silverware. I don't even use my dishwasher because it does the same thing she does! And I cook with disposable gloves! She tries to help me organize my stuff a few months ago, but I told her that only I know where and how I want it to be separated. So be pissed off at me. I have my reasons!

Status: Offline

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