Cold feet/ second thoughts

Honeyblossom · Mar 20th, 2012, 18:55 PM

Now that its nearly time Ive been getting second thoughts, mainly this week about selfish things like holidays and nights out, not all the time , but in flashes. but Ive also descovered a new found fear of toddlers (wtf? I have no idea why all of a sudden they petrify me).
Is this normal? Will anyone else fess up to cold feet? Or am I just horrid

bananaz · Mar 20th, 2012, 19:05 PM

You're not the only one! Lately I've been thinking about that kind of stuff every time my OH and I spontaneously run out to see a movie or go to the store or get a bite to eat. It's definitely going to be an adjustment having to factor a kid into every decision and I'm sure I'll mourn losing some of my freedom, but at the same time I'm sure there will be lots of great things that I'm not even thinking about yet.

PS: I'm a little afraid of toddlers too. Actually, I am kind of awkward around kids in general. But I just remind myself that my baby will be new at this parent/child thing too, and she won't know if I'm doing things wrong at first

..katie.. · Mar 20th, 2012, 19:10 PM

Cant run away at the alter for this one lol

I'm sort of in a mourning process for my youth? I dont know... Since I graduated, I've contstantly been moving apartments and towns and switching jobs and taking off at a moments notice...and I loved that. And now I cant do it anymore. I mean, yeah, I know it's more than worth it to have my tiny human, but I still sometimes get all "sigh"y.

And toddlers are creepy. its okay to be afraid of them. They're like really small real people with bad grammar and missing teeth.

socitycourty · Mar 20th, 2012, 19:10 PM

Sometimes I just wonder if I can actually make it through labor and then go on to be a mom! It's really hard to wrap my head around. Not because I'm really worried about losing anything, it's just that I wanted a baby so bad and for so long that now it didn't seem real and then it does seem real.....

My sister had a baby 2 1/2 weeks ago and seeing her every day and changing her diapers, watching my sister BF, etc. has got me really excited though. She's adorable!

gk1701 · Mar 20th, 2012, 21:53 PM

I feel the same way. I had such a nice life before- lots of dancing, spontaneous dinners with friends, pedicures, blow drys. I keep thinking the same thing- can I get through the labor and then move on to the sleepless nights and stress of bring a mom. I miss my old life.

SamanthaYC · Mar 20th, 2012, 22:05 PM

My husband and I are sinking into a lot of debt, I think that is what we are scared of most. My maternity leave isn't paid, and we have all these bills

socitycourty · Mar 20th, 2012, 22:13 PM

Oh gosh I didn't even mention my financial worries.....I had planned to be a SAHM and then also watch my niece so my sister could go back to work (she has a way better job than I do) so I don't qualify for any disability or maternity pay, and then to top it off they found a new person so I've only got this week and next week of work....and then won't be watching my niece until 4/30/12. SO that's like a month with no income from me and my husband's work is off and on. I'm totally petrified!

Clarehc · Mar 21st, 2012, 02:03 AM

I think everyone has doubts and fears before they have a baby, it's totally natural. Your life is going to change in a major way - in a good way - but a major way. Plus a lot of the future is unknown. And yes, when you have a baby or toddler, you do occasionally miss your old life but you adapt and change and being a parent becomes the new you. We spent years TTC both pregnancies but esp this one and now I keep thinking "what the hell am I DOING?!!!!" I think I need my head read, going back to babyhood after having a wonderfully independent five year old.

And fyi, toddlers are way more fun than babies ;-)

Jennifurball · Mar 21st, 2012, 02:13 AM

I sometimes feel resentful when I am out and everyone else is enjoying themselves, but then I feel guilty and realise what a wonderful thing I am giving up 'enjoying myself' for - this is much greater than getting drunk and making a fool of myself! I am actually starting to enjoy being the sober one and not cringing everytime I get a notification saying I have been tagged in someone's photo.

You can still have holidays too, me and OH are planning a short break for August, it is really keeping me going and focussing beyond the labour!!

I am a bit funny with other kids and have only just stopped feeling awkward about interacting with my nephew. I always felt silly around babies and kids but now I am realising I need to sort it out lol.

missvikki · Mar 21st, 2012, 04:11 AM

This is totally normal!
I had my baby 11 days ago and around day 5 I was hit with a wave of sadness. I LOVE my baby but the realisation that life would never be the same hit me like a ton of bricks. Leaving the house is such a mission and I got really down about all the things I wouldn't be able to do anymore.

Luckily this feeling passed and I thought about all of the amazing things I have to come. And at the end of the day going on a night out doesn't compare to raising a child.

Don't worry hun, everyone feels overwhelmed at some point, it doesn't make you a bad person!!

xx

Mar 20th, 2012, 18:55 PM	#1
Honeyblossom Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: London Posts: 535	Cold feet/ second thoughts Now that its nearly time Ive been getting second thoughts, mainly this week about selfish things like holidays and nights out, not all the time , but in flashes. but Ive also descovered a new found fear of toddlers (wtf? I have no idea why all of a sudden they petrify me). Is this normal? Will anyone else fess up to cold feet? Or am I just horrid

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 19:05 PM	#2
bananaz Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: USA Posts: 5,205	You're not the only one! Lately I've been thinking about that kind of stuff every time my OH and I spontaneously run out to see a movie or go to the store or get a bite to eat. It's definitely going to be an adjustment having to factor a kid into every decision and I'm sure I'll mourn losing some of my freedom, but at the same time I'm sure there will be lots of great things that I'm not even thinking about yet. PS: I'm a little afraid of toddlers too. Actually, I am kind of awkward around kids in general. But I just remind myself that my baby will be new at this parent/child thing too, and she won't know if I'm doing things wrong at first

Status: Online

Mar 20th, 2012, 19:10 PM	#3
..katie.. Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: SW wy Posts: 3,341	Cant run away at the alter for this one lol I'm sort of in a mourning process for my youth? I dont know... Since I graduated, I've contstantly been moving apartments and towns and switching jobs and taking off at a moments notice...and I loved that. And now I cant do it anymore. I mean, yeah, I know it's more than worth it to have my tiny human, but I still sometimes get all "sigh"y. And toddlers are creepy. its okay to be afraid of them. They're like really small real people with bad grammar and missing teeth.

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 19:10 PM	#4
socitycourty Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 4,948	Sometimes I just wonder if I can actually make it through labor and then go on to be a mom! It's really hard to wrap my head around. Not because I'm really worried about losing anything, it's just that I wanted a baby so bad and for so long that now it didn't seem real and then it does seem real..... My sister had a baby 2 1/2 weeks ago and seeing her every day and changing her diapers, watching my sister BF, etc. has got me really excited though. She's adorable!

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 21:53 PM	#5
gk1701 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 678	I feel the same way. I had such a nice life before- lots of dancing, spontaneous dinners with friends, pedicures, blow drys. I keep thinking the same thing- can I get through the labor and then move on to the sleepless nights and stress of bring a mom. I miss my old life.

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 22:05 PM	#6
SamanthaYC Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 440	My husband and I are sinking into a lot of debt, I think that is what we are scared of most. My maternity leave isn't paid, and we have all these bills

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 22:13 PM	#7
socitycourty Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 4,948	Oh gosh I didn't even mention my financial worries.....I had planned to be a SAHM and then also watch my niece so my sister could go back to work (she has a way better job than I do) so I don't qualify for any disability or maternity pay, and then to top it off they found a new person so I've only got this week and next week of work....and then won't be watching my niece until 4/30/12. SO that's like a month with no income from me and my husband's work is off and on. I'm totally petrified!

Status: Offline

Mar 21st, 2012, 02:03 AM	#8
Clarehc Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Sarajevo (UK ex pat) Posts: 547	I think everyone has doubts and fears before they have a baby, it's totally natural. Your life is going to change in a major way - in a good way - but a major way. Plus a lot of the future is unknown. And yes, when you have a baby or toddler, you do occasionally miss your old life but you adapt and change and being a parent becomes the new you. We spent years TTC both pregnancies but esp this one and now I keep thinking "what the hell am I DOING?!!!!" I think I need my head read, going back to babyhood after having a wonderfully independent five year old. And fyi, toddlers are way more fun than babies ;-)

Status: Offline

Mar 21st, 2012, 02:13 AM	#9
Jennifurball Other BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: UK Posts: 4,199	I sometimes feel resentful when I am out and everyone else is enjoying themselves, but then I feel guilty and realise what a wonderful thing I am giving up 'enjoying myself' for - this is much greater than getting drunk and making a fool of myself! I am actually starting to enjoy being the sober one and not cringing everytime I get a notification saying I have been tagged in someone's photo. You can still have holidays too, me and OH are planning a short break for August, it is really keeping me going and focussing beyond the labour!! I am a bit funny with other kids and have only just stopped feeling awkward about interacting with my nephew. I always felt silly around babies and kids but now I am realising I need to sort it out lol.

Status: Offline

Mar 21st, 2012, 04:11 AM	#10
missvikki Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Newcastle Posts: 367	This is totally normal! I had my baby 11 days ago and around day 5 I was hit with a wave of sadness. I LOVE my baby but the realisation that life would never be the same hit me like a ton of bricks. Leaving the house is such a mission and I got really down about all the things I wouldn't be able to do anymore. Luckily this feeling passed and I thought about all of the amazing things I have to come. And at the end of the day going on a night out doesn't compare to raising a child. Don't worry hun, everyone feels overwhelmed at some point, it doesn't make you a bad person!! xx

Status: Offline

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