We were not planning this pregnancy, I got pregnant 2 weeks after we got married.

After I got pregnant my hubby got a promotion at his job and a great upfront bonus, my position at work became permanent, and all the money things that might have worried us are no longer a major issue.

My husband told me the other day that he was thinking of how different our life would be if we were not having a baby in June. He told me he was thinking of all our extra income and how we could have used that to get new cars, go on vacations, and just be a young married couple with no kids.

Do not get me wrong, that does sound great but it did hurt my feelings. I know our pregnancy wasn't planned but I've already grown madly in love with our baby. I carry him around every day with me and he kicks and has a personality and a name. I am resigned that we are having a baby and that is it, our life together will not be what we thought it would be but I've adjusted.

It just really hurt because I thought we were both on the same page and happy.

Maybe I'm overreacting, what do you ladies think?

My OH says things like that to, as even though I have kids he does not, (and my kids go to their Dads twice a week) and he says things like, we cant go to the isle of man again for the bikes as we wont be able to afford it and no one will have the baby for a week, or I wont be able to buy things for my bike, and he was saying how gutted he is we cant go to the theme parks we always go to this summer as we will have a baby in tow and how our wed evening at the cinema will be over soon, I do get where he is coming from as I will miss some of these things to, but yeah it does hurt to hear them, I also don' t think it does not mean they are not happy, but probably just a bit scared and worried how things will change.

I tend to find that men say silly things all the time without really thinking them through, at least my husband does all the time!! It was probably just one of those passing thoughts he had and should have kept to himself, but if its worrying you, I would discuss it with him. I'm sure it doesnt mean that he wont absolutely adore your new life with your beautiful baby, it will just take some getting used to. Life is full of surprises!xx

Oh those are things that cross through my mind too -

But it doesn't mean I don't love my baby any less. It does seem like we were ALMOST going to be doing great financially but now - not so much lol. It's all a trade off though. I mean we'll have other great things in store for us that we had no idea would be there. It'll just be different. I am still excited about baby and things will still work out - just differently than I would have thought a year ago!

Randomly this morning I found myself worrying about paying for college for 2 kids. When we had only one I knew we could do that for her - but now with two - I don't think we can pay a full ride for both and its not really fair to pay for just one! I don't know why I am even thinking that far ahead of myself but I am!

Anyway I am sure your husband is excited and loves baby too - but these are things that come into one's mind. We just don't all speak them out loud.

I'm also young[21] and am pregnant with our honeymoon baby. Luckily my hubby is great even tho we are living a tight budget and hasn't complained one bit, I even got to give up work all together to be a stay at home Mum.
I'm sure your hubby is looking forward to baby too, and loves him[tho it's different for mothers and fathers usually, especially until after they get to meet the baby themselves].
I suggest perhaps you make sure he knows what he said made you feel a bit sad, and perhaps give him some food for thought too, of all the positives of being able to have kids young and still be young enough to enjoy a retirement and older age together at a not too old age!....and the excuses you have to do fun silly things like go to the zoo, of the fact that he has someone who will look upto him. Or, finacially, remind him how blessed he is to have a wife who is gonna go back to work[I assume you are seeing as you mentioned your job] and keep helping him earn money because not all women do!

Aww I wouldn't think anything of it, they're the sort of things that we all think but most of us don't dare say out loud.

I'd just take it as a compliment that he's comfortable enough to talk to you about anything that crosses his mind.

Men have a hard time visualizing the reality of a baby. We are the ones carrying them, feeling them move, forming an attachment. My husband was quite detached when I had my first child, but as soon as she was born he was awestruck! 13 years on and he is an amazing father to my 2 children and more excited than me about this LO. We found ourselves in a slightly different position..our children are now 10 and 13 - we started being able to go to the pub and on date nights and saving money for the first time - then I find I am pregnant again at 38!
You just adapt, he will adapt too. You will still be able to do fun things they will just be different things than what you are used to. X

I think that I would probably be offended as well if I was in your situation. But something you have to understand is like you said YOU are the one carrying the baby, forming that bond, feeling the kicks and movements etc. and I'm sure he didnt mean to upset you.. it's hard for someone who never got to experience these things to understand how bonded you are already. Right now for him these are HUGE lifestyle changes..and you're the only one with insight as to the reward.. its a huge commitment, its a lot of sacrifice.. But the moment he can see and touch his baby, I guarantee these doubts will fade and he won't even want to picture his life any other way.

I think if u ask him again how he feels on babies first birthday, he won't remember his comment, and he will look at u like u r crazy and he will tell u that he wouldn't change a thing. And when he sees ur LOs eyes light up on the first big family vacation u go on all together, his heart will melt and he wouldn't have it any other way. Husbands just don't get it right now, they know they r having a baby, but they don't grasp the love fully until they hold and interact with the baby.. we should consider ourselves lucky! Our babies already know and recognize us..dads and children have to be introduced almost.. I'm sorry his comment made u sad. Chalk it up to his anxiety, that's what I do when my DH makes a comment that catches me off guard. And Congrats on having ur stuff together girl! It will make it that much more enjoyable!

Sometimes men say things without thinking, at least I know my OH does! I am sure he is excited about having a baby with you, most likely it was just a passing thought that he could have expressed in a better way. Once baby is here I am sure he won't care about all the things he could have or could do.