Oi. Ma. You really need to catch a grip. 'Preciate the cool name and all, but seriously, did you think I'd come out there today just because you thought it'd make an interesting story? Christ on a bike. Listen, when I'm ready, you'll be the first to know, so quit pushing your luck or I'll REALLY confuse you by being born with no willy. K?
Oh, and the kicking-the-table-edge thing. Yeah I keep doing it, wanna know why? Cos it's fun, and it gets you back for all that burping you keep doing...it's loud, it makes the waters ripple and then everything gets all blurry, very disorientating when I'm trying to swing my umbilical cord. I only wanna see these waters ripple when I fart or burp myself; like Daddy, I find it to be the best source of entertainment.
Anyway, be seeing you soon - til then, more milk please. And cheese. And remember, I really don't like chocolate that much. Save the Easter eggs til I'm out.
lola would simply say 'mum? MUM!!! will u please stop eating so many sweeties?! It's hard enough trying to get to sleep through your constant restlessness and farting and conplaining without a sugar rush added into the mix!'
Mine would have to be "TAKE THAT! Mwahahahahahhaa! Keep complaining about all the kicking I am doing and I will keep doing it harder! Also, tell Dad to stop poking at me... I get it your 'excited' but can you keep it to a minimum?"
mine would be "mommy i love you but i'd like to taste something else other than sweet tea icecream and nachos! Next just cuz im trying to come too early does not mean let those ladies put that damn monitor on me i hate it! and would it kill your stomach muscles to loosen up and give me some more room i feel like a pretzel!.... oh and that thing that licks your stomach and curls up to your and protects me i like her but when she barks man i wanna muzzle her and uncle damon voice makes me squirm its so deep and sweet i like it."
"Mommy, Please tell daddy not to shake your tummy and wake me up when I'm trying to sleep, and also, kindly let him know I do not appreciate him poking my butt just because I'm sticking it out. Love you both, and I'll come out when I'm good and ready, which means YOU get to wait on ME.. get used to it, because that's how this relationship is going to work anyway. Much Love - Baby T."
These are cute! Mine would say, 'I quite like it in here so you may have to wait a bit longer. Plus, I quite like the game where I punch you in the bladder and cervix. I'm loving keeping you guessing when I'm going to pop out.'
And hopefully: 'when I do come out, I'll make it as easy as possible so I don't cause you too much pain'!!!
By the way this reminds me of a book my friend loaned me called 'how to be a little sod' by Simon Brett. Really funny and written from the baby's point of view, it tells how the baby purposely sets out to make its parents' lives difficult. Easy and quick to read and lighthearted, I recommend it for a giggle
no matter what i do i just cant get comfy... i need more room! and please tell my other mommy to stop tankin my bum when i stick it out i do like it when she puts her arm round me though it makes me wriggle
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