Bloody hell you are patient! I made it clear in the first trimester that he had to man up or ship out. I keep subtley reminding hime that not all women stayhome with their babies and some men get lumbered and the woman runs off! - in jest of course but seriously in his head does it not figure that you miss going out and could well just hold this against him
And become a party animal once you stop being an incubator?
Id call his bluff and say youve book 3 weeks in ibiza or something. Im sure hes lovely really but he needs a wake up call( as they all do, mymum says its like training dogs!)
Haha! I keep making comments about how I can't wait to lose the weight and look good in a mini-skirt (he's very prude and would panic if I wore a short skirt >.> ), and then go out for the evening.
He's been a bit of a pain though. Before pregnancy he was very worried that other guys were a threat. Since being pregnant he's not been worried at all.. which is actually a bit insulting as he'll go and say that he wouldn't expect another guy to look now
Wow. Firstly, you have ALL of my sympathy. Considering the fact that you're pregnant, you'd be perfectly justified in throwing an enormous tantrum about this; instead, you're remarkably calm, level headed and talking it out (this place is good for that).
Secondly, apologies, but I'm inclined to think this dude is something of a prick. I'd imagine that if I'd ever fallen pregnant to my ex, I'd be going through exactly what you're going through now and I really can empathise. I do find it particularly strange that he's a prude, yet he seems to be a thoroughly alpha male and - I hope you don't mind me saying this but I tend to speak my mind about stuff like this - pretty damn chauvinistic.
Right now, again speaking candidly, I don't think there's much you can do about it. I'd let him know that it's all very well claiming he's 'not ready' at the moment, but in a short time he isn't going to have any option. Men are notorious for reverting back to adolescent behaviour during a pregnancy; the gamble is whether or not he grows up when baby arrives.
And I'm really sorry that nobody has even asked how you are. It's nice to have someone pay you even the smallest amount of attention while pregnant, even if it's just a cursory, 'So how are you feeling?'
He's quite the nightmare.. though I do blame his friends for encouraging the way he behaves X_X if something doesn't benefit them then they'll drill it in to him that he's "whipped" and that i'm being unreasonable.
He's very childish with money though, sadly - and that one I can't blame anyone else for. I'm living with him and his parents and he thinks that because he pays my share of the rent, the rest of his money is for him and any money I have is for the baby so he shouldn't need to contribute. Even though he's got an actual wage.
His attitude has improved A LOT since the start, and i'm hoping that when the baby's here it'll be a wake up call (and i'd jump for joy, even with stitches, if it'd make him tell his friend "no, bugger off, i'm not going to the pub, i'm spending time with my family").
He really needs to sort it out though - with money especially.
Annoyingly I can't bring things like it up though or else i'm pestering and he gets in a huff
Yeah hun, he is whipped, not by you though by his mates, they 'whip' him and he doesn't even see it. With regards to the money thing, my hubby saw that things weren't necessary so I should pay for it. I sat him down and told him exactly what we needed and why, the saying goes 'it takes two to tango' he made it equally and he needs to pay for it equally. I hope you can sort this out but 'bros before hoes' ??? seriously, with my temper I'm glad my hubby's not like that, because honestly since I got pregnant I have such a short fuse. Then again if I want to go out I will go and wont ask and hubby has same freedom, I will go out when baby's here but more for coffee or a meal, but thats just me. Explain your fine with him having his freedom but you need equal freedom to go out/meet friends, and if he want you to respect his freedom he needs to repect yours. Might change after baby is here and he sees its real, sounds like he might still be in slight denial.
Yeahhh I've said that to him before. Annoyingly he usually tries to justify it by saying what good friends they are though and how long he's known them
And yep! I made a list of all the things we needed to buy for baby. I bought most of them before I even ASKED him to help.
He went through the remainder of the list ticking off things he thinks we don't NEED.
(eg - the baby apparently doesn't NEED his own towels and would do fine with ours)
So far i've bought pretty much everything - he's bought a few tit bits like a dummy/pacifier as i've put them in his basket shopping. (he's put things he wants in my basket enough times!)
If my oh put friends before me and the baby I would flip! I be so angry and I rather be alone then have a man going out all the time.
His friends think he is whipped? how old are they? If he rather be with his immature friends than have his famiy then that is his choice. I feel for you but it sounds like he cares more for these friends than you and the baby. How pathetic is he
When a woman's friends are unaccepting of her pregnancy, she more often that not will cast them aside. But when it happens to a man, it suddenly seems a point of honour. It wouldn't be happening if hewas carrying the babe!
One of the things i respect so much about my DH is that his priorities are firmly in place and no amount of juvenile ribbing will change that. As aresult, i trust him implicitly and encourage him to go out when invited because he always wants to make sure i am happy with it too.
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