I'm quite shy so I would probably ask her to be gone by like 37 weeks that would give her plenty of time to find somewhere. Point out you will be full term then and say the midwife has said you can't have anyone but family around for the homebirth. most midwives will actually back you up on this. My midwife told me if anyone wants to overstep their mark just blame my reaction on 'the midwife said so' and tell the midwife and if she comes to the house when theyre there she'll tell them the same thing. OH wanted someone there I wasn't happy with and midwife told him no for me lol.

Sweetheart, I don't mean to be harsh and it's not meant in this way but you made a rod for your own back here inviting someone into your private home at an extremely private and personal time and it was a bad decision on your part.

I know you wanted to be kind but this kind of thing happens soooo often and lots of nice people just cant bring themselves to tell the selfish individual to leave their home so as to avoid being seen as horrible. She has to leave, period. No iffs or buts, I would have changed my mind about putting her up in my home the moment she bought her cat and said she was staying 20 weeks??? WTF? It's YOU who decides how long she stays, not her and all the other stuff she is doing, making you wait on her whilst you are pregnant...... jeysus? Oh lordie don't get me started on that.

You sound like a super nice woman with a heart of gold but kindness does not equal weakness and she has taken advantage of your kindness from the get go. If it is better for you, try to prepare what you will say to her and if needs be, make up something, like others have said, say something like ' I have just been to the Doctors today and told I must rest from now on as much as I can, avoid stress etc. This unfortunately means you will have to find other accomodation now as I am unable to cope or look after any house guest anymore' If you can't be direct with her, be factual and stick to your guns. This woman will only stress you out more and more if you let her stay and then it will all explode and get nasty and you don't want that do you?

I agree. Sorry you are going through this.
We took in my husbands cousin because she got kicked out of her house when her parents found out she was pregnant. She brought her b/f (who is older than us) also. I eventually had to tell them they had to be out within 2 months. She was pregnant with twins and we have a small two bedroom house. She was the same way.

She needs to go. You were willing to let her stay for a little while to help her, not adopt her. If she's incapable of taking care of herself or providing for herself, you do not need to be doing it for her.

The DH and I talked with her last night.

She now says she needs a place for "up to 10 months."

Bless his heart, he told he she needs to find someplace else ASAP.

Let's hope she listens, since I've been crying all the time and getting so worked up I'm having panic attacks and heart palpitations at this point. I probably should have mentioned that I suffer from social anxiety at certain times, and having her in my house has created the first time I've experienced these symptoms on "my own turf," so to speak.

Thanks for updating us. 10 months?!!! Wow. I'm glad your DH was able to step in and take control of the situation. I truly hope she leaves soon so that you don't have this burden.

I don't even have social anxiety, but living in a 750 square foot apartment at 31 weeks pregnant with a very odd houseguest would give me a panic attack. I really hope everything gets sorted out soon!

You guys definitely did the right thing for your own health and baby's!

Thank you again. Sadly, she isn't gone yet, and she's gone into passive-aggressive mode by refusing to come out of the room she's staying in.

This changes everything. She needs to go now!

i agree!