Well it's been 3 weeks 3 days and I've finally got a minute to post!
Alexander was born on Fri 16th March weighing 7lbs 9oz.
Here are the gory details for those interested. The contractions started at around 4.30 am but were very mild until 11.30 ish - I though they were just practise ones and then my waters broke - I heard like a pop and then the contractions started to get more intense and much quicker. Got to hospital at 1pm where I was put in a waiting room and was sick in the bin. They examined me and I was 1-2cm and they wanted to send me home but I refused - I knew the contractions were getting much more intense and I was not coming back during rush hour traffic. At 4pm they let me have some gas and air which helped to start with but really does nothing to take away the pain towards the end - all it does is give you something else to think about. At 6pm they examined me and I asked for some pethidine but was refused as apparently I was 8cm and the baby would be out very soon -ha! At 7pm I started pushing - 9.30pm was still pushing - I just couldn't do it so was taken into a proper room with a bed instead of the funny bean bag bed I'd been on and Alexander was delivered at 10pm via forceps. The funny thing is all along I'd said give me all the drugs available and I end up doing it with gas and air. Afterwards I felt very faint for a good two days but that went away. I was in hospital for 3 days as he had jaundice because he wasn't feeding properly and the midwives asked for my permission to top him up with formula. I got maybe 5 hours sleep in 3 days - that makes it harder that you start the hardest job of your life with no sleep!
He has a tongue tie which has meant he can't breast feed - I've had every advisor under the sun try to help him latch on which he can do but he can;t suck properly We've got an appointment but it's not until May 18th. I had been expressing but it was really making it hard for me to bond with him as I was so obsessed with expressing every 3 hours even in the night and as time as gone on he has had colic so has been more difficult to settle and can be awake for 2 hours at a time in the night so then to express for 40 misn after that was getting too much so I made the decision on Sat to stop and I feel so much better - I am more relaxed about my day - I don;t stress if he starts crying when I should be expressing. It's not what I wanted but he needs to have a relaxed mum otherwise he will pick up on it. I do feel like a failure but I have done my best.
3 weeks later and I am feeling much better - the stitches hurt for some time - the cut was the worst the tear healed very quickly. It also feels like your womb is going to fall out of you - there was a very strong pressure feeling.
My husband works away from home and this is his first night away so I am scared. He's not too bad in the night we get about 6-7 hours sleep but it is broken up but I am still scared. My husband has spent the last 3 weeks running around after me literally all I've had to do it look after the baby he's followed me around clearing up after me. He's coming back on Wed this week luckily so it's just 2 nights. My mum will stay on the days she's not at work.
I will admit the overwhelming feeling of motherly love didin;t come to me straight away and that shocked me as this baby was so wanted and I was so ready for him. Instead there was a feeling of fear and being overwhelmed but we are getting into a routine now and the motherly love is there now but just so you know you aren't odd if it doesn;t happen straight away.
When people tell you it's the hardest thing you'll ever do I used to think yeah yeah yeah i know it's hard but how hard can it really be - it's hit me like a sledge hammer but every week gets easier and now he is starting to respond to things and will stick his tongue out when we stick ours out - as advised by the infant feeding lady to help with his tongue tie.
You do forget about the labour - when it happens you just deal with it - to be honest I just remember it being very intense not as painful as I expected but overwhelmingly intense. You do lose all of your dignity but you don;t care- you probably will pass a BM but they don;t care and you don;t care to be honest. After the labour I didn;t care - I've let about 10 different midwives look at my stitches as I've only just been released from midwife led care as they were tsking time to heal. I've let everybody catch a site of my boobs either whilst helping him to latch on or whilst expressing but you honestly couldn't care less!
Veyr long sorry just gone on and on! Good luck with all your babies
Ok I can work out how to do it but it;s telling me the file is too large - will try again tom as he is asleep now and so should I be according to all the books - btw throw away your books - they don;t mean anything once the baby is here!
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