Are we being selfish??

babyfenway · Apr 11th, 2012, 15:48 PM

Me and OH have decided that once Brandon is born, we don't want visitors coming to the hospital as we want to keep him to ourselves for a day or so and bond as a family. My in laws although they were upset are supportive of our decision, but my parents aren't happy about it at all. I've asked mum and dad to come and stay with us for a few days once we have been home for a day or two, but no- she wants to be there for the whole thing and during labour. I just feel that labour and the first few hours/day are precious and should be spent just is three- our family.

What do you ladies think???

Indigo77 · Apr 11th, 2012, 15:52 PM

I know a lot of people go this route, but I could never ask my mother to wait to see her grandchild. I know I won't want to see anyone, but they can see him in the nursery or the waiting room later.

Banshee · Apr 11th, 2012, 15:52 PM

I think it's up to you entirely and people shouldn't try and force their wishes into you. We made the same decision when I had ds1 to have some time for ourselves without family visiting. In the end though I had a c section and was in hospital for several days and was glad to have some visitors but if I'd been at home it would have been just me, dh and ds. Do what's best for you!

admiral765 · Apr 11th, 2012, 15:58 PM

You have to do what is best for your little family now.

I thought about everyone else but myself and my family and we had constant visitors every day for six weeks. It was so exhausting and I cringe when I look back on that time. This time we are having no visitors to settle in for first few days and then controlling visitors thereafter!

You really shouldn't think of others no matter how selfish that sounds. I really feel that family and friends shouldn't even comment on your wishes either, they should just respect them even if they don't like it xx

Pinkie88 · Apr 11th, 2012, 16:04 PM

I am the same. Its family bonding time for mom, dad and baby in my opinion. They can meet baby later

Mummabear1 · Apr 11th, 2012, 16:10 PM

Damn right you should keep it as just u oh and bubba. Grandparents can wait they've had their kids so its no longer about them. I'd never have my mum in delivery room, and thankfully she feels the same. Its your time to bond as a new family without anyone else stickig their noses in. Yes they're bound to be excited... But once babies here hes here, or she! It wont kill visitors to wait a little longer

Mrsctobe · Apr 11th, 2012, 16:20 PM

i dont think your being selfish at all.
labour/birth are private and i wouldnt want anyone but my oh there.
also its nice to have some alone time with your new baby and partner (and in our case our daughters too lol)

its your baby, labour and birth and your desicion. dont let your mil bully you into doing what she wants. she would do my head in tbh lol x

Sunshine12 · Apr 11th, 2012, 16:43 PM

No I dont think you are being selfish. Its your baby and if you and your OH just want it to be the 3 of you then, as parents, thats your entitlement. If any friends of family have an issue with that then its them thats being selfish not you! x

babyfenway · Apr 11th, 2012, 16:47 PM

Thank you girls. I need to get my mum to see sense!!! Hopefully she will come round but she is a wilful creature

punk_pig · Apr 11th, 2012, 16:59 PM

I was way to exhausted to have visitors. Plus I was trying to establish breastfeeding which wasn't going to plan so pretty much around the clock I was naked from the waist up trying to get LO to latch or hand expressing - not the kind of thing I would have wanted an audience for.

Apr 11th, 2012, 15:48 PM	#1
babyfenway Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 407	Are we being selfish?? Me and OH have decided that once Brandon is born, we don't want visitors coming to the hospital as we want to keep him to ourselves for a day or so and bond as a family. My in laws although they were upset are supportive of our decision, but my parents aren't happy about it at all. I've asked mum and dad to come and stay with us for a few days once we have been home for a day or two, but no- she wants to be there for the whole thing and during labour. I just feel that labour and the first few hours/day are precious and should be spent just is three- our family. What do you ladies think???

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Apr 11th, 2012, 15:52 PM	#2
Indigo77 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 15,807	I know a lot of people go this route, but I could never ask my mother to wait to see her grandchild. I know I won't want to see anyone, but they can see him in the nursery or the waiting room later.

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 15:52 PM	#3
Banshee Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: England Posts: 1,532	I think it's up to you entirely and people shouldn't try and force their wishes into you. We made the same decision when I had ds1 to have some time for ourselves without family visiting. In the end though I had a c section and was in hospital for several days and was glad to have some visitors but if I'd been at home it would have been just me, dh and ds. Do what's best for you!

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 15:58 PM	#4
admiral765 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Uk Posts: 2,158	You have to do what is best for your little family now. I thought about everyone else but myself and my family and we had constant visitors every day for six weeks. It was so exhausting and I cringe when I look back on that time. This time we are having no visitors to settle in for first few days and then controlling visitors thereafter! You really shouldn't think of others no matter how selfish that sounds. I really feel that family and friends shouldn't even comment on your wishes either, they should just respect them even if they don't like it xx

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 16:04 PM	#5
Pinkie88 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: US Posts: 2,337	I am the same. Its family bonding time for mom, dad and baby in my opinion. They can meet baby later

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 16:10 PM	#6
Mummabear1 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Chelmsford UK Posts: 148	Damn right you should keep it as just u oh and bubba. Grandparents can wait they've had their kids so its no longer about them. I'd never have my mum in delivery room, and thankfully she feels the same. Its your time to bond as a new family without anyone else stickig their noses in. Yes they're bound to be excited... But once babies here hes here, or she! It wont kill visitors to wait a little longer

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 16:20 PM	#7
Mrsctobe Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Uk Posts: 6,554	i dont think your being selfish at all. labour/birth are private and i wouldnt want anyone but my oh there. also its nice to have some alone time with your new baby and partner (and in our case our daughters too lol) its your baby, labour and birth and your desicion. dont let your mil bully you into doing what she wants. she would do my head in tbh lol x

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 16:43 PM	#8
Sunshine12 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Elite Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 10,589	No I dont think you are being selfish. Its your baby and if you and your OH just want it to be the 3 of you then, as parents, thats your entitlement. If any friends of family have an issue with that then its them thats being selfish not you! x

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 16:47 PM	#9
babyfenway Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 407	Thank you girls. I need to get my mum to see sense!!! Hopefully she will come round but she is a wilful creature

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 16:59 PM	#10
punk_pig Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: UK Posts: 2,422	I was way to exhausted to have visitors. Plus I was trying to establish breastfeeding which wasn't going to plan so pretty much around the clock I was naked from the waist up trying to get LO to latch or hand expressing - not the kind of thing I would have wanted an audience for.

Status: Offline

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